I'm fed up today.. maybe depressed and sad is a better description.. i'm not even sure myself. I do know that i feel like crying and my chest hurts though.

I ache at the moment.. i ache with thinking about the fact that people constantly misunderstand aspies and call us uncaring.. call us unfeeling.

I myself, i cannot talk for others with Aspergers but I (<<-- and yes, that's a strong, capital ''I'' for a change.. rare to see them in my writing i know) ''I'' do feel.
I am tired of people saying that I don't and am now crying.

I've just come from a group on facebook where no-one knows that I have aspergers and there's a discussion going on about how people with aspergers are robots with no understanding of love or empathy.

From chats i've had with other aspies.. almost every single one of them have explained that they do feel and they feel deeply.. they just have no ability to express how they feel.
See; aspies navigate their lives by designing rules to keep them safe.. walking along the footpath is easy.. you keep to the inside away from the road..
Knowing what to do when someone is telling you their problems or crying is not so easy.. some people want a hug but which ones? because when you hug some people and they're upset they'll push you away and you've then made everything worse..
Some people want advice.. but again; which ones? I personally want advice and i also want a hug.

If people came with manuals it would be so much easier.. i could just turn to the right page and go ''ah, yes.. George = he'd like a hug and some advice'' - or ''Mary.. she'll shove me if i hug her but she would love a cup of tea and just an ear to vent into''

And this is my thought process.. not that i don't care at all; I just have all this running through my mind.. by the time i've analysed everything and worked out what to do.. the person has most likely already assumed that i just don't care and dismissed me.


So.. next time you talk to an aspie and see them looking like they're disinterested.. they're probably not.. they're desperately finding the right thing to do/say.. hoping beyond all possible hope that they've filled in that page of the manual already.
trust me.. if an aspie isn't interested they'll tell you xx


I suppose that now i should work out whether to go and comment on that facebook post..