Hi, okay so I just joined this website, and I'm not quite sure what to do with it just yet. I'm just looking for a bit of advice for my OCD. I've not actually been diagnosed with OCD but I'm pretty sure I have Pure O. Well I get these intrusive thoughts and urges that are violent in nature and they seem so real, as if I actually could do it. Like I'm always doubting myself and asking myself questions like "Do I really want to do this?", "am I a psychopath?", or thinking things like "I don't really care about my family, I could just hurt them" and its really scary for me. Sometimes I'll think things like "what if I'm controlling these thoughts and I actually like them?" I don't know if this is true or not. I'm only 16 (turned 16 just today) and I had intrusive thoughts a few years back that only lasted about a month or two and it wasn't as bad. But now I'm scared that I want to do these thoughts and that I'm not afraid of jail or something. They make me feel sick to my stomach and I usually lose my appetite a bit when I think of them. But not even all of them are random thoughts like it feels like the thoughts and urges are always there in the back of my mind. Yesterday, I found a bit of reassurance online and slept really well and didn't feel anxious at all but now I'm just thinking like I'm not like others with OCD, maybe I don't have OCD at all and I'm a violent psychopath. If anyone has any advice, thank you so much because I've been plagued with these thoughts and urges for about 3 or 4 months now and I feel like I'm going insane. Also, I really want to see a therapist, but my family doesn't have enough money for it and I'm also afraid that they'll think I'm a psychopath and they'll lock me up. Please help
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