Every day feels like torture.

I hate hate hate all these people in my life. I wish I could get them all out permanently. Dont see that happening though. I just want to scream I f' ing hate you at every single person.


Not much chance of finding any new people either at this point. And l will never be able to stand being alone. F that.

Mega tired. Cant sleep. Stressed. Thats all. Only a few more hours to go and will try again. *eyeroll*

I started to make a blog post this morning about my ex and the weird hold he had over me for the longest time but then i was interrupted and had to go to the town he lives in for something. And sure enough! there I saw him on a bike.


Im so glad I wasnt driving because Im pretty sure I would have got out and hugged him. Which kind of surprised me.

Then i spent 10 minutes thinking maybe I should try to go back. Maybe it was a sign or something? But. But. NO.

We couldnt get along. Neither of us would budge an inch on anything. We were very similar like that.

I dont want to spend every second fighting. He would drive me even crazier than I am.

Hes definitely a crazy maker. even more so than me. I will leave him for other ladies to enjoy.

My dad leaving like he did probably ###$ me up more than anything else. I felt very close to him growing up and he just took off and never saw me again.


He didnt even have an excuse for doing that $#%^.

My mom is a horrible bitch from hell but at least she has her reasons.

She was telling someone a story about how on xmas she would go to my dads and it was like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting. But then on going home her dad had went out for the Christmas dinner and stayed gone 3 days drunk.