Ok so I've been flipping out recently. Let me explain.
I'm a 16 year old female. I've never had any issues mentally in the past but recently I've noticed something. Every once in a while I would feel myself going into a dream like state & everything would feel foggy like I was detached from the real world. I never thought anything of it, shrugging it off as just being tired until just recently. It's gotten a lot more like severe recently it seems. I feel way too detached & it lasts for longer periods of time & it's hard to maintain more conversations & complete tasks & stay focused without seeming disconnected. It started worrying me so I did my research. It seems as though I have symptoms of depersonalization disorder or derealization. The only thing is everything I've read says those two things are caused from anxiety & depression & I don't think I have anxiety at all. & I doubt I have depression either. I mean there are times when I feel depressed for no reason but I think that's normal in any human, it's nothing constant. So I'm really confused. Also, another thing that has been bugging me is an experience that happened about a few weeks or a month or so ago. This is actually what made me to decide to look up my symptoms. I was at my boyfriends house & we were kissing & stuff started going down (don't judge) & all of a sudden I just felt so disconnected & so detached & like I was in a dream. Almost as if I was high, but I wasn't. It was the strongest the whole "detachment" has ever felt & I was really scared because I could tell it was going on but I didn't know why & all I wanted to do was close my eyes & sleep so I wouldn't have to feel it. I excused myself to the bathroom & while I was in there I had a panick attack & this scary illusion that my boyfriend was outside the door with a knife about to kill me. Although part of me knew that wasn't happening at all, another part of me was insanely scared to open the door. After I calmed down I came out & we picked up where we left off but I had absolutely no desire for any of it & I felt completely detached & emotionless & it was really hard to pretend like my brain was all there. It was just really strange, I mean I was so scared & it's not like my bf had anything to do with it, like we just have a normal teenage relationship lol my head was just being so weird & idk why. That's the only time anything like that has really happened, but since then the periods of feeling detached have felt longer & more severe. I've also found myself rehearsing conversations out loud when I'm alone, especially in the shower. Like I'll be thinking about a certain conversation with someone that could possibly happen & minutes later I realize I've been speaking it out loud. I'm not really sure if that's anything to be worried about though, plenty of people talk to themselves. It's just weird that I don't even realize I'm doing it for a while & that it's not like I'm saying a few phrases out loud like I'm legit having a conversation out loud that could possibly happen in the future & idk do normal people do that?

I'm not sure if I should tell my family, like I don't know maybe it was just something that happened in the moment & I'm just flipping out for no reason.

I do have history of mental illness in my family, my father is a schizophrenic & they believe he may have minor bipolar disorder.

Part of me thinks I'm just being silly & overreacting & it's nothing, but another part of me is actually really scared.

I've always been a very social person, but lately I've found myself more content being alone & not wanting to participate in anything & I feel like I have no energy or desire for anything.

I'm not really sure what is going on

Maybe I'm just changing & everything is completely fine or maybe there really is a problem?

I just want someone...

[ Continued ]