Still single. Lol. By choice.

This guy who is hanging around seems like a good person. That's all good and everything. But I have moved on from any romantic feelings for him. I cared for him at one point. He didn't feel the same way, and it stings having to admit that. That I hung on to him, with hope of him caring for me eventually. We communicated. People now don't talk, they text. But it all came out. He was upset because I was not interested in what he had to offer, which was nothing in the form of caring for me romantically. I was kinda over him. When you don't receive love, loving moments, a desire of loving and caring for you, other things, you long for it and you come empty-handed, this drives you somewhere where you have to face the truth. I talked, I was honest, very upfront. I held nothing back. I answered. Eventually, because my heart loved him. Eventually, I moved on. I am not sad. I was at first, a long time ago. I even held on to being with him even though I knew he didn't feel the same way. It took a little bit of time, but I don't have any feelings for him. I stopped dwelling on him, on us. I push away feelings or thoughts of remembering how things were with him. I don't care if maybe I'm repressing. I don't think I am, just push away thoughts and think on something else. Because he is still in my life, he sticks around, it's hard to have him completely disappear from my life. We still get together, but I have no feelings for him. And I stick to that, It took me time to get to this point, I don't want to "go there." To go to a place that I will want a man who doesn't want me as his mate, as someone he loves. I don't want to seek someone for me anymore. I give up on wanting someone to love me. When I see lovers or couples, I no longer envy them or wish in my heart I had a man to love me. He doesn't exist. And I've come to that conclusion in my heart too. I just don't care anymore. It does hurt to think on this at times, but having a little cry at that moment, and just wiping my tears, I recollect myself, and I'm a big girl. I just get "over it." I get over it almost instantly. I am indifferent now. I've heard that anger is actual love for a person you love. You still love them. Indifference is moving on. I am indifferent by my mind knowing he doesn't love me. And my heart is at peace and has moved on as well. I am no longer thinking on it. I am not upset he still talks to me. I will have to be the one to eventually tell him to also move on. I don't care for a so called "friendship." We were more at one point. And I don't want him in my life so much. I am not friends with guys who were romantically involved with me. That is an answer, "What does quietgirl want?" I don't want him in my life as much or not at all. Now it's his turn to get a clue. It's not an easy thing to do, because I'm "so nice." But quietgirl needs to take care of herself. I need to be the one to push him away because he's not for me. I'm not interested in a friendship. The end. (For today, that is.)

I am single by choice. I am at peace. I don't want a guy, just to have a guy. There is more that I want and more that I need as a woman. I have friends but it stays there. Why? Because that is what I want.

I've always hated listening about how some men are not good to women. They are jerks, they cheat on them, lie to them, and they can be seen as "trash" in some women's eyes. To each his own. I don't see things that way. Men are sort of like an extension of us, if we are together in a good relationship like marriage. A holy marriage. Men are God's gifts to women. And women are God's gift to men. I love it!

This is a good time for me to show my happiness and excitement in this topic of a relationships between a man and a woman. It hasn't always been this way. What happened???

Well, honesty to a guy. I like you but I am only looking for me to marry if the right guys shows up. That weeds out a lot of people. Honesty the whole time, if you are unsure of how things remain between the two, you can drop the relationship to "friendship only" and let him go. He is always free regardless. A person, whether it's male or female, is always free to choose. Why, even in marriages people choose to leave. It's how it is. Boyfriend and girlfriend relationships, engagements, and even marriages don't guarantee a spouse or boyfriend will stay with you. People stay because they want to. Marriage doesn't guarantee this, it's been shown many times. Honesty helps in more serious relationships but it's very hard on people who go through breakups.

I've learned this and more. On a personal basis and also through literature. It's one thing to read about it, it's another thing to live it. And to come out ok. Life is hard sometimes.

Peace

Life is very good.

Have great friends in my life, including male friends who are strictly platonic.

It feels great to be alive! It feels great to be a woman!

I'm single but I'm happy.

I am doing really good on all fronts in my life.

M has been texting me. Just a little bit. Do I think about him. Hardly. I am reminded of him when I hear from him. I told him we could be friends. We are that, we just never hang out by his choice. I said I would respect his decision. So I don't reach out to him unless he does so, first. It's what he wanted. Now he has to live with that decision. I do miss him a little. I did care about him. He's a nice guy. But I'm ok without him in my life as it has been proven. I'm happy and fulfilled. And I am still in search of my Mr. Right. God bless him, I wish him the best life has to offer.