peaklite's Blog

by **peaklite** on Tue Aug 25, 2015 3:07 pm

My body must be shocked falling for this girl so quickly out of nowhere. The feelings of inadequacy and jealousy are always on my mind at the moment, even though I'm seeing her a lot and I know she doesn't talk to lots of boys. Honestly it was that one thing she joked about a while ago, it's caused this, hopefully what she said doesn't ruin it cos that would suck.
On the positive side, I'm going out Wednesday with her and Friday me and my friends are gonna chill and inject some dank marijuanas

by **peaklite** on Mon Aug 24, 2015 7:48 pm

fml i want these feelings of jealousy to stop so bad

by **peaklite** on Sat Aug 22, 2015 8:50 pm

Girl I'm dating is at a popular festival, naturally I'm incredibly worried about the fact that she might drink and take drugs and cheat on me, but that's unlikely so it's not at the forefront of my mind.
The bit that gets me the most is stupid I know, I understand it's stupid but I can't help myself from feeling such jealousy. (We aren't even official yet, but both of us like each other very much.) The simple thought that she's looking at other guys, thinking they're hot annoys me. She told me she spoke to a guy I know and said he's nice, luckily I managed to not act like a dick about that which is an improvement as in the past and with other girls I would have just gone into a mood and probably ignored her for a while. I know she wants to and will speak to other friends or whatever who are male yet it annoys me. I'm just scared I guess, scared about the fact that because I'm not 100% perfect she's going to be looking for other people.
As far as I'm concerned, unless I am the perfect human... I will always worry about getting cheated on, I will never overcome my jealousy. Because I will always be compared to someone.

by **peaklite** on Thu Aug 20, 2015 9:51 pm

I'm finally calm over the situation, I've seen her again. It's stupid because I know she likes me a lot yet my mind tells me maybe she doesn't because of what she said, maybe I'm not good enough. It's just annoying because it happened so early and unfortunately it shows that my jealousy isn't gone, I can control it a bit easier and recognise it but when something is mentioned talking to a girl i'm in a relationship with that makes me jealous my whole mind desensitises, i feel like i could never see them again and it's incredibly noticeable to all and i can't stop it, they will ask me if i'm okay and i'll have to say fine

by **peaklite** on Thu Aug 20, 2015 12:00 am

I can't really pin down why I get jealous. I just get intensely jealous and I know I care for someone because I go from not caring about what they do to the next day feeling like killing myself over them liking a photo on facebook.
i feel like i can physically feel it when it happens. the mix of rage, sadness and jealousy literally burns in my head, kind of like a headache probably from the stress and trying to hold in the tears

Feeling down still

Oh god pls stop

Feeling okay at the moment surprisingly

Calm

explaining jealousy

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