I am trying so very hard to succeed right now but all everyone seems to notice is how bad of a ###$ up I am.

I am very happy I came here. Its still my first day and I have already learned so much, and talked to many helpful and supporting people.

Its not that I don't trust anyone here, but I find it hard to post on this website. Maybe its more that I find it hard to bring my self to think about the things that have happened. Maybe its because for the most part I have forced my self to forget. Maybe its just that I have never really talked about this stuff before save two distinct and wonderful people. What ever the case may be, I plan to post here at least once a day.

I have been hiding many things from both myself, and from the world over the past 10 years. I have been pretending that things are OK, and that things where always OK, but that is definitely not true. Things where almost never OK. I have joined this site hoping that a chance to talk about what happened, and hear what other people have to say about what happened will help me to over come my fears, addictions, impulses, and anxieties. I am Osiris, but that is only who I am right now. Sometimes I am Lone Riot, sometimes I am Emma Griffith, and sometimes I am Emmarella. But the real me is just a guy named Aaron. Someone you will rarely get to see.