i woke up feeling good today
so i popped some popcorn and brewed some tea
then settled to surf the web.
after devouring my breakfast, i was feeling a little fat.
Ok, a lot fat. i could feel the FAT solidifying in my stomach
then i stumbled upon some pictures of skinny bitches.
i felt sick
i dont have a gap between my thighs
my collar bones arent that well defined
my stomach isnt flat
any good feeling i woke up with is now gone
any beauty i saw in the mirror is now gone
replaced with fat. fat. fat.
thinking about hitting the streets and scoring some adderall
going on a drug binge to take some weight off..

Those skinny women have either been photoshopped or they have eating disorders or metabolic problems. They aren't pretty. Skin and bone isn't pretty. It may be what the media goes on [and on and on] about. But it isn't healthy or sexy.

Please please tell your psych or someone else you trust that eating and weight is an issue for you. And get some support with this. It's too easy for it to tip into a super destructive problem. You have enough to deal with, hon. Don't add this to the pile, do whatever it takes to change your mind on this.