Oh, yes, of course, forgot.
Yes, has to do with changing world, not myself. Or sth of that order.
"A friend" called out of the blue. Late for me, 9pm-ish.
I never get calls. Here and there, as rare as it happens, I like them. But I can also hate them, as in the case of the above guy, a real nuisance.
He just went on jabbering, being his 'jolly' act. About work, about an old thing we talked about once. Just on and on piling words that add nothing, except his need to talk, never asking / wondering whether I was interested.
I got mad, as I didn't fend him off, as I'm not good at it.
Boy, do I need to learn to recognize feelings, and how to handle situations.
Should have said going to bed or sth.
It was new to me, it's a recent renewal of contact, and forgot what he was like.
Anyway, need to beware the guy, and keep him at arm's length. A walking public nuisance.
And, worst, and what matters here, felt rage as hung up, as took time to get rid of him.
And plunged into food.
So, still, rage, the old issue, is there, no matter how much I smile and cover it up to myself and others. Rage at what feels like unfair hate and rejection around me from peers, rage at superiors who just stay out of trouble, and, while expecting to be heeded, will never stick their necks out for you, which I deem to be their duty.
The imperfections of the world. I keep raging and fulminating at them, knowingly or unawares?!