i'm not having a good time, and i feel like bitching about it. i doubt it will help to do so, since everything that is wrong is my own fault.

people in my life have been saying i should talk about my problems, but i think that is usually asking for trouble. i don't want to give anyone an opportunity to kick me when i'm down. i think this is fairly reasonable of me.

yes, i'm arrogant and defiant and i hate being told what to do. i always want instant gratification and i get pissed off when i can't have it. none of these are desirable traits. so people tend to want to tell me i'm being stupid or manipulative or any number of other things, and they're not wrong.

my boyfriend, earlier this evening, didn't want me to go out and get something i wanted which he feels is a bad idea. he said, "you're smarter than this."

well, no i'm not, apparently. i suspect what he really means is that he thinks i'm an idiot and he wants me to be smarter. first of all, how the hell am i supposed to do that; and second, why should i even want to act different for someone who disapproves of me?

so i continue to do the things he doesn't want me to do, in a last-ditch grasp for self-respect. that's what it feels like to me, anyway.

7. if you post in one disorder's forum more often than others, be sure you never say anything about yourself that goes against the most obviously stereotypical representation of your diagnosis. this will make you highly predictable, and everyone will like you way more.

8. repeatedly confess to various felonies you've committed, especially in the AsPD forum because that's a brilliant place to act like the worst criminal in the world. geniuses.

5. Post as several other fake people who suck even more than you do, so as to make yourself look better in comparison. This is an excellent use of your time.

6. When you add a comment to anybody else's thread, especially someone you've never encountered before, be sure to include a lot of annoying off-topic jokes and other uselessness. This is a great way to make yourself seem Too Cool 4 School.

(yeah, i'm going to make it to ten eventually but i like doing two at a time. if you have an idea feel free to add it in a comment)

I've never done the blog thing, but i thought it might be helpful if... okay, no. I thought it would be entertaining for me to post the top ten worst ways to behave in a discussion forum. if other people also like it, so much the better.

1. Do not think about what you really want from people who read your post.
Because they should just be able to read your mind and understand what you're after, even if you have no idea what you're doing here. If they can't, it's obviously their fault and you should throw a fit so those bastards know how horribly disappointed you are.


2. Start from a position of profound hostility and assume everybody else will do the same.
That way, you'll never get your tender feelings hurt. And that's important because you can't take criticism at all, so you should totally make sure nobody feels like they can ever be honest with you.


3. If you have a sense of humor, put it away while participating in discussions.
Everybody should take each other seriously at all times. Most importantly, you should take yourself extremely seriously and never, ever let anyone distract you from the task of becoming more self-involved.


4. Get all sorts of bent out of shape about forum politics, and make sure you are popular with everyone no matter what.
It's not about whether you get any feedback you can actually use. What matters is whether people like you or not, because no matter how old you are, you never really got over high school.


(More to come later.)