it's often the littlest things that will set me off. when something tragic happens, like loss of a loved one, i usually will get over it in little time. unfortunately it's the small things will leave me stranded in bed for weeks.
i wasn't able to go to my friend's house when i really wanted to and now i am planning on not eating for the rest of the day. i haven't eaten anything at all. i'm not just being whiny, though. i wanted to go because i'm scared of myself. i'm scared i'm going to hurt myself by being alone. that's what it is.
and i almost was able to go, but then my father had to park his stupid jeep in front of the garage so that we couldn't get out. i hate my father and i have for a very long time. yesterday, we were driving in the car. it was him, my mother and i, and she told him to slow down and he told her to shut up and the fight escalated and ended with my mother crying all night. so the fact that today he ruined my plans is hitting me very hard.
i wish that he would leave. i wish that my mom could marry a better man who gives her the love she deserves. or i at least wish that he would admit he's being a bad person. instead, he pretends like everything is alright.
well, reality check. it isn't. nothing is alright.
thanks a lot.