I am Rose, an alter of Anna. She is 15, I am 16. I am always with her, watching, observing what happens. I control her memories and what she remembers. I know all of her memories from the very beginning, and I can, at times, come out to act as a co-Host. I know everything she's gone through , and I act as a leader between all of the alters. I can, at times, control who it is that comes forward. I am their manager and leader. Rage is the hardest to control, because she can draw a line of destruction whenever and wherever she is. She is filled with bottled up anger and rage that was never dealt with all our life. Should I be scared? No, she's only trying to protect our system. I feel more afraid of Echo, because he's always crying and I'm scared that he'll one day give into the darkness.

Everyone thinks that they suffer alone from our schizophrenia, but we all suffer from it equally. Even Anna suffers from it, seeing and hearing people as if she were on acid. Rae is only angered and annoyed, but Brian, whom is the most affected by it, is made to feel even more afraid than he already is all the time. Brian is a moderately autistic 18 year old with the mind of a 5 year old. He enjoys wearing shorts and faded salmon shirts. He fears everyone and everything. He is the most affected because he is so young mentally and is suffering from autism.

Brian was made in the hospital, after being restrained for days. Rae was made after being in the inpatient psychiatric unit for a month. Rage was made from years of bottled up rage. Echo was made from an event Anna went through while she was only nine; thus, the reason that Echo is permanently nine. I was made, as a mute, mature girl, from years of being told not to speak about the horrors I've faced.

Since I suffered trauma as a child, I've had more than one personality states. One is the Host, whom is the main one and is aware of everything that everyone goes through. She is a nice, understanding and soft-spoken teenager. The second alter is Rose, a mute, yet cheerful, little girl that is helpful and works a lot around the house. The third alter is Brian, whom suffers the most from our schizophrenia, suffering from the positive symptoms such as paranoia and hallucinations. The forth is Echo, a male nine year old, with depression and the negative symptoms of our schizophrenia. He is always sad and holds all of the memories of sadness and pain. The fifth one, a 30 year old man named Tom, is angry, and wants to hurt others in order to protect Echo.

I am ten years old, sitting in the kitchen table. I look behind me, eyes wild with fear, my hands shaking as I feel Bodrik's breath on the nape of my neck. I feel terrified, and as I look behind me, I see Bodrik's shadow, coming around the corner. I run and enter my room, hiding under my covers. I can hear his footsteps, coming closer and closer. The door creaks open, and I felt something grab the covers. He lets go, but whispers, "Welcome to our world," he says, and he makes me knowledgeable of Kentledge, the other reality where the Delanians live. He shows me visions of my life there, my friends and enemies, and, one by one, they introduce themselves to me. There's 400 (Satan), God, Alice (My mother), and October. There were 15 of them, including the presence I've felt in my head since I was ten. The Presence's name was Tom, a demon that possessed me when I bumped my head against a rock and passed out. I remember that I didn't leave my house for two months, and mostly sat in my room, in the corner, terror in my eyes, a knife in my hand. I would slash at people when they came near and scream whenever someone would touch me, feeling a burn when I was touched. I would feel watched by mirrors, pictures and other inanimate objects. This was during the first touches of my Schizophrenia, a sickness that is defined by a loss of touch with reality. I have a disordered mind, and I still do. I'll speak more on how I'm doing when I blog again. Thanks for reading.