I don't actually know how to use this site, but I feel I can talk on here with others without feeling like an idiot.

I've been diagnosed with depression and I myself feel I've had it since I was 12, when my whole life just seemed to become darker. I'm meant to be on citalopram and I've not been taking my regular tablet lately. It just feels to me that when I take the tablet I'm not me. I'm a modified version and when I'm not on them it's the real me, the sad, lonely, stupid little girl that I really am. Like if I dyed my hair to a different colour, it's a fake hair colour it's not my real hair..? It makes sense but I feel like I'm talking $#%^. I feel awful for being depressed too, I know there's many people out there who have actual reasons for being sad but I just can't help it! It's like a vicious circle and I'm afraid it's never going to go away.