I've finally come to the point where I think I'm actually happy. Not because I cut real deep or some situation got better, but I suddenly am not relying on circumstances to make me happy. Because those always change don't they? And I'll never be in a stable mood if I just rely on people and things to make me happy.

Plus, I suddenly want to recover. Very, very much. I don't know why. I just do. I want to move on. So I am. The self harm, the anorexia, the bulimia, the binge eating, the depression, the cutting, the suicide.... It was all just an obstacle thrown in my way. The word obstacle is defined as something that "hinders progress". So, I'm making progress. You better believe I am. I was just knocked down momentarily; my progress was paused. But I will pick myself up once more.

So mark May 16, 2012, as the day allalone004 is no longer "all alone".