Redundant

I wished for a day that will bring us back together. Through lots of painful thinking I came down on myself.

Questions which invoked my miserable memories such as, "should I find her?" Pestered my fear for rejection. "Could I pilot any more injections from our conversation?", I thought not. "Are you the same person", new concept which scared my fractured, yet mending heart. The ending pain of all ignorance of your existent was working up again. Until I caved in; sending a request after finding your through old comments on a friends page days ago. It took a lot of my muscle to press “Add Friend”, and no effort to write my only thoughts about you. Everything I thought of was true, from loving you and making me feel alone, to missing you dearly. I took a few minutes, a glance on my screen after adding you, I took my time, waiting for you to be on. “Online”, added, don't know what to say. I thought, "my retarded ADHD self should work. -clink- I type without thinking "whaaaaaaaaaa"

Surprised, but waiting for bad news and the arrival of death beyond seconds reach, my horrible uncle. Pacing upstairs with a terrible temperance feeling. Both terrible combinations at once.
I feel uneasy.
I am.