I don't care how riled up you get in the middle of one of my sentences. Contain yourself and wait until I'm finished.

I don't care how long I've been speaking. There is no time limit on someone's role in a conversation. Whether it's one sentence or an essay's worth of sentences, you shut the f--k up like you have some damn manners and wait until I'm finished.

I don't care what mental issues you have that cause you to impulsively spew whatever's on your mind. Get in under control or go away. I am entitled to courtesy and I'm not forfeiting this basic human right under any circumstances.

What I do for you as far as respect and courtesy go, you are most definitely morally obligated to do the same for me. I don't interrupt you, ever, so you have no excuse to do it to me.

But just to give you a taste of your own medicine, I'll do it. Maybe then you'll see how rude you've been and how unproductive our conversations have been.

I need a new way to release my anger, and deal with people who hurt and offend me.

I see nothing inherently wrong with being choosy about who I let into my life. Everyone has to be choosy to some extent. I don't get to choose my bosses, co-workers, clients, sometimes I don't even have the money or flexibility to choose my doctors, or teachers/professors. I'm a slave for most of my social life. Even maintaining certain friendships, romantic relationships and family ties require civil interaction with people I'd rather not be so close to. These kind of relationships require conforming to rules and standards that are completely ridiculous and even uncomfortable for me. Whatever the situation calls for, I have to let the person know that I fit my role.

And I get my rewards.

Rules apply to deeper relationships as well, and are different in nature because these relationships are emotionally-based. Now it's not all logic and math and it's about simply being there for this person in the way they need you. Right and wrong, rational and irrational no longer apply, because this person is letting you into their inner world. And they're not going to let you wreck all their s--t.

I make my terms known before establishing any kind of close relationship with a person, and it's never anything I'm not willing to reciprocate. And what doesn't work for us simply doesn't work and will either have to change, have some adjustments made to it, or we may just be better off without one another.

It's this simple: I am emotionally self-sustaining for the most part. What I demand from my lovers and friends is for them to take their fair share of responsibility for something that I'm granting them power over in exchange for trusting and caring for me: my emotions. With power comes responsibility. If the person does not use their responsibility in a way that suits me - or worse, causes me emotional distress that I simply would not have to deal with if not for them - then I will take away their power. Because in the end, my emotions belong to me and I get to choose that I am entitled to feel a certain way. I have the obligation to do what I can do on my part to ensure my own satisfaction and well-being.

I am not responsible for what I cannot control. I could not control what you did/said with FULL KNOWLEDGE that it would hurt me. What I can control is whether or not you have the power to hurt me. I can control how I feel... about you. Unlike your inability to control your behavior or what comes out of your mouth. Or to at least live up to your own agreements, treat me the way I treat you, and apologize when you've done something wrong, accidentally or intentionally.

And hurting me is always wrong, despite what you did or whether or not you can justify it in your mind. I feel remorse all the time for things I did that were not actually morally wrong, because I'm looking at the big picture; more important in this relationship than being "right" or "wrong" is whether or not we are safe and happy together. This is something you agreed to before we became friends/lovers, otherwise, we wouldn't have.

This is how I NORMALLY handle situations in which a person continuously hurts me:
- Revisit and discuss our terms. What rule (established or unspoken) was broken?
- Re-explain the importance behind the sentiment "I'm sorry" and how it doesn't mean admitting to a moral "wrong", but expressing at least mild regret over the fact that you/I/we did something that was counter-productive to our relationship/goals. When I say, calmly, that something has upset me, I'm asking for an apology. Usually that's enough to suffice.
- If the situation improves, it improves. We don't have those problems again. Everything's well.

If it doesn't improve, I'll still hold up my end of the bargain, but I no longer give a s--t if the person holds up theirs. My "baggage" is no baggage to me at all. If it feels heavy sharing it with you,...

[ Continued ]

I would just like to introduce myself real fast and let you know what to expect of me.

I will be staying clear of the Sexual and Personality forums because there is triggering content there for me. Not that I have anything against any personality type or sexual behavior. Quite the opposite is why I cannot visit these places. My views on sexuality and personality do not leave room for the idea that there is anything inherently dysfunctional or unhealthy about anyone/anything regarding these areas.

If you are someone with what you would consider a sexual illness or personality disorder and would like to talk to me about it, feel free to do so from your own subjective view-point. I do not think anybody is 'too sensitive', so do not be shy about your triggers. I will not disrespect them and if I cannot comply to your terms, I'll let you know and won't waste time hurting you. If I take anything you say offensively, I'l let you know or worse case scenario, give you the cold shoulder. Emotional harmony, security and gratification means everything to me and is what all close relationships are all about to me.

With sexual and personality 'disorders', all I see are simple preferences, desires and needs (we all have them - who's to say what is 'rational', 'healthy' and what's not?) that most don't have what it takes to step up to the plate and indulge. I refuse to subject myself to watching people kink-shame themselves and others, nor bash on certain types of human altogether and labeling them as ill. This will lead to all types of trouble. The people in charge getting mad at me for arguing with someone's diagnosis, or for openly condoning 'self-destructive' behavior/ways of thinking. People who are legitimately ill (unhappy/unable to function to their liking due to things they cannot control/do not like/don't understand about themselves) getting mad at me for not being specific enough and accidentally accusing them of not actually suffering when they really are. People who trust this science way too much in my opinion, arguing with me for the sake of defending their interpretation/version of the 'truth'. People who are incompatible with those who have these 'illnesses'/fetishes/habits getting mad because I actually embrace something they lack the ability to see clearly and appreciate...

I would rather just avoid it altogether so you will not see me in there. This is also a warning that if I withdraw from a conversation about something like this, do not get offended. I am withdrawing so that I do not offend you, or get offended any further.

My name is Angel and I'm a 21-year-old female. Unhappily taken. Unemployed and looking to turn that around soon. I consider myself a loner for the most part. I'm definitely an introvert most of the time. However, I tend to grow unhealthily (for me, of course) attached to men who do not actually deserve that level of devotion from me (which is why I consider it unhealthy for myself). It's something I hope to understand better about myself and I hope that I can eventually get my life back on the right track without completely losing this guy and all the progress we've made together. Assuming this relationship turns out to be worth saving.

I was diagnosed with depression when I was younger and I know that I suffer from it again now. I'm trying my hardest to appreciate the things I love to the fullest again but it's hard when my current partner in life is bringing me down constantly, just by being himself. I just hope that, unlike last time, it won't take a catastrophe and drastic change for my life to start looking up again. Building from scratch gets harder every time for me.

I don't have kids and don't plan on having any.
Ageism/sexism to any extent ticks me off.

There are a few other things I talk about in my first post, which I just made, in the Living With Mental Illness forum. So that's the end of my little introduction. My hard limits and what I will be talking about most of the time regarding...

[ Continued ]