"Friend or Frenemy"
I have someone in my life that I care deeply about. I feel like we've both done things to hurt each other. I consider myself single but dating. I just had a guy over and made out with him and did the cuddle thing.
I feel guilty now because someone else has my heart when that someone else won't open up to me and let me know where we stand. Plus, I don't know what to believe.
All I can say is the men in my life have to prove it to me. I can't simply go on words. Too many men have whispered sweet nothings to me and then the actions didn't match.
I truly believe...........it all boils down to me and this one guy. All I want is happiness for him and I would give him the world. I would never be ashamed of him. I would be honest about my emotions and how I'm feeling. I would take bullets for him.
Some days it seems he feels that way and then another it seems he wouldn't care if I fell off the ends of the Earth. I don't know where we stand.
I feel like I'm a commitment person and if I'm committed to somebody I need to know. Main factor because I need to know where I stand so I can be honest with them both. I know which one has my heart but I can't sit waiting for him to show me when I don't see him ever doing that. I wish he would. It hurts not knowing if everything that was said was truth or fiction. I wanna believe him so bad and start new. I'm a new person and he sounds different. I KNOW it could work but where does he stand. I don't know. I need some sort of sign I guess. A clear sign so that there's no high school back and forth. I'm not angry about anything and feel like we should both start new being we're both new people. I know I've changed for the better. I'm not a trashy, moody, druggie slut. I'm a classy, independent, handsome gay man.
Anybody would be lucky to have me I finally realized. My life is really just starting. Which one can walk the walk with me? Which one wants to? It's a journey and I DEF know I'd be blessed to have him. I'm all about love @ this point in my life and am tired of anger. I've let it out and now I need a partner. A real man that will tell me flat where we stand. ANYONE deserves that. I'll tell them the same.

Love,
Patrick

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