Today, I made the sinking realization that I will not, in fact, be able to maintain the social and personally intimate relationships that I have built for myself. I am unable to hand over control to someone who is not myself, and in that, I am only destined to lose it all, and start again.

My only fear is what will happen to me if it does all fall apart. I know I will be able to pull everything back together again, perhaps with new chess pieces, I just don't know how that will happen this time. Only time will tell.