I told my ex the news of my upcoming tattoo appointment, which he was excited to hear. It got bittersweet when I told him what I was getting and why (he still doesn’t know the full extent of my abuse), but we ended up lightening the mood after we got talking about body art. We discussed my two present tattoos as well as the few he has, along with the two new ones he has gotten since we separated. Unsurprisingly, he took the opportunity while we were on the subject of body art to talk about my belly button piercing - which has always been one of his favorite traits of mine. There’s also an interesting story on how he talked me into getting it done again after I had taken it out and I foolishly re-pierced it myself.

But anyway, he started asking me a whole bunch of questions on it like he sometimes would when we were together romantically. Asking me to remind him how old I was when I first got it, how much jewelry I wear for it, etc. It was the most I talked about it since we separated (the only time, really), but as odd as his fixation on it may be, I really don’t mind. I actually missed this quirk of his. One question he got hung up on was how often I show it off. I don’t. I never wear revealing clothing in public, except for occasions when I’m wearing a bikini to go swimming. He encouraged me to show off my body more to display my so-called abs. Amusing, because, while I am thin, I don’t work out so I don’t have any abs whatsoever. He was just being flatterer.

I honestly thought he was only telling me this as a subtle way of asking to see my belly button ring more. I even told him if he ever wanted to see it, he need only ask. But then he surprised me by saying it’s not about him getting to see it, but me feeling confident in myself. He started going on about body positivity, self-expression and feeling empowered by displaying my body. I’ve never been big on dressing in provocative clothing, but when I would when I was younger, I must admit it did help me feel good about myself. My ex was encouraging me to do so again, just to see if it still boosts my confidence. I’m not sure I will, to be honest, but it is a nice thought that again, I was surprised he was actually serious about.

I’m glad we had this odd but endearing conversation. I can’t help but be amused by the fact that he’s still obviously attracted to me but can also be a compassionate friend not letting any untoward thoughts of his get in the way of that. It’s part of the reason why I enjoy his company so much.

Chels91 wrote: I can’t help but be amused by the fact that he’s still obviously attracted to me but can also be a compassionate friend not letting any untoward thoughts of his get in the way of that. It’s part of the reason why I enjoy his company so much.

Sounds a little like love. Or the most patient 'player' ever. Following the course of least resistance, I'd think the former before the latter.

I can safely say by this point that I care for him at the very least. But still no romance from me, which I’m almost feeling bad about now. I might make an entry on it sometime. Another reason I was so up for showing him my piercing was because I know it was one of those things that turned him on when we were together. I partly wanted to see how well he’d contain himself, which he did real well, if him giving that serious spiel on body positivity is anything to go by. But I’m fully aware of the straying thoughts clearly at the back of his mind and I’m sure he knows I know.