I wrote this in preparation of seeing a new psychotherapist. Thought it might be of some interest here. Too bad the formatting doesn't transfer - it was really nice.

So, What's My Deal? March 13, 2016


“There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”

~ Oscar Levant


To My Psych Doctors (Are you dear? Perhaps you're dear, or hopefully will become so).

Since it's our first date, I know you will want to go over a lot of basics, my history, favorite color, zodiacal sign, etc. So here goes, except for my autobiography; you will have to prod me for that, although I do have a lot of it written down at home on my laptop. I am hoping we can do some testing, but it is probably unnecessary, as my condition will become clear to you over the next few decades of our relationship.

No score and two years ago, I was diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder, after just ten minutes, TEN MINUTES! the first time I met my previous psychiatrist. While there is no question that I have bipolar moods and affect, I believe there is more to it than that, and that I don't necessarily have the disorder. My moods can swing from pole to pole within minutes. I have recently been made aware of Schizotypal Personality Disorder. Prior to this, I believed I had Asperger's, because I fit so many of the characteristics, or “symptoms,” if you will. My score was very high on the online (quackery?) test. Indeed, these two disorders are often confused, causing misdiagnoses. I believe they share a phenotypical brain structure abnormality. I have spent my whole life trying to figure out what is wrong with me, and I believe I may be getting closer. I also meet all of the criteria for Avoidant Personality Disorder, but these can also be found within the criteria for StPD. Since I have those additional traits of STPD that are not within the framework of the other disorders (delusions of reference, perceptual abnormalities, magical thinking), I am thinking... Well, if I don't have StPD, it is sure to be very close to the neighborhood, though I can't imagine that I'm off this time. Therefore, ergo, cogito, we should find out what Personality Disorder I have; do a differential, not that we can do much about it, but coping may be easier knowing what I am fighting. And maybe my mother will have a little more compassion for me, instead of getting pissed off about everything I do and don't do.

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizo[typal], and so am I.”
~ Oscar Levant

Memory refreshment: In the American Psychiatric Association's DSM-5, schizotypal personality disorder is defined as a "pervasive pattern of social and interpersonal deficits marked by acute (though not altogether cute) discomfort with, and reduced capacity for, close relationships as well as by cognitive or perceptual distortions and eccentricities of behavior, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts." At least five of the following symptoms must be present:

Schizotypy Box Score, 2016 Season

ideas of reference,
strange beliefs or magical thinking,
abnormal perceptual experiences,
strange thinking and speech,
paranoia,
inappropriate or constricted affect,
strange behavior or appearance,
lack of close friends,
and excessive social anxiety that does not abate and stems from paranoia rather than
negative judgments about self.

These symptoms must not occur only during the course of disorder with similar symptoms
(e.g., schizophrenia or autism spectrum disorder).

Check, check, check, check......and...check. All but the last – I have both paranoia and negative judgments about my self. I outscored them in the last inning!

Furthermore, Wikipedia states that Schizotypal personality disorder (STPD) is a “personality disorder characterized by a need for soci...

[ Continued ]