This always feels icky. I think I was co-conscious with Eric. Last night, I felt the urge to dress and act like a man. For what it’s worth, I’v usually been finding writing in my notebook the next morning.

The memories from my younger self... a lot of them have been going to school and hoping nobody finds out. I try to keep it well hidden. It feels so embarrassing, like it’s a secret.

I feel so embarrassed. I wrote this blog a few days ago, but put it in the wrong spot lol

I woke up early today. Day off, need to get back to sleep, but I don’t feel so good. Feeling down on myself. One of my voices is a latina. She sounds like a persecutor. I’m feeling like I’m to blame for where I am in life right now. Not feeling like there’s a way to crawl out. I think she’s been saying that to me over and over.

I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the idea there’s someone else in my body, but these past days I’ve just left my notebook open. I’ve been fing “Eric” has been communicating mostly, but I’ve gotten something from someone else a couple of times.

Some on this site have mentioned yoga and meditation. I’ve been doing that. It’s nice exercise, but it hasn’t helped control the voices a lot of times. At least with the notebook, it’s not so scary.

This is my first blog, my first big step towards resolving my life.

I’ve started a notebook hoping that my alters will be able to communicate. No luck yet. Guess it just takes time.

I’m also a little happily surprised there are “multiple personality disorder” specialists in my own city. I thought I’d have to hunt around.