I am soo angry! The littlest thing sends me over the edge! I was a crazy mess last night! My little sister wanted to have a light on and I couldn't sleep! So I went mental shouting and screaming, throwing things and I even pushed my sister! I have never hit or pushed her like that before. Afterwards I lay in my bed crying and that's when I truly discover how pain can make it better! I didn't even notice I was doing it and now I realise I do it alot. I was digging my nails so hard into my palms it made them bleed. And it felt good! As I was lying there I thought about getting a razor!! Which is really scary as I don't want to hurt myself, typically I'm afraid of pain. Its just for that few minutes, it felt good!
Every day I'm getting closer and closer to the edge, And I can't seem to get control over it! I do crazy things all the time. I think people around me are starting to notice, they make comments about how strange I am. I work so hard to cover it up, but it's getting hard!

Katrina x