Hey there!

Considering the blogs are mostly for journalling, you might think about posting this in the OCD forum. http://www.psychforums.com/obsessive-compulsive/

From what I can tell- and I'm almost trans, myself- folks who are trans, sound very different from your post. I don't think you're trans.

Hi, I'm one of the moderators here.
This wound up in the blog section, where members can keep a journal.
You might consider posting in open forum, since you are not sure of what may be going on, a good place to start might be the Living WIth Mental Illness forum. That's the catch-all when people don't know what category best fits. You will not get too much reply in the blogs, so the forums are your best bet.

Like anyone else, you are free to choose whom you want to befriend or not. For whatever reasons, it's your freedom to do that. Don't beat yourself up for it.

An old blog post- but I think a lot of guys who are gay or bi, somehow think things will change with marriage, and.... it doesn't, unfortunately. I think unless an agreement can be made, and we're open and honest with each other, then a divorce now might be the most merciful thing to do. Especially if we're on the down low- it's not fair for her.

I would say just divorce and go for It. I'm sure I'm gay too bro, I haven't tried but I have attraction for boys, but my girlfriend is pregnant which complicate things much more. Maybe you regret It because you think facing It will be hard and I share that, but according to the weirdo that I am I would say just do It particularly if you don't have children.