ok im fairly late on commenting on this, but are these men like your father in any way?

So...no tools to edit after I post when I discover a typo? That is going to drive me nutty. Also, no cursing? There goes half of my available vocabulary. I think the foul language I use lets everyone know what a charmer I am.

You are loved by your children and you're not worthless because your children need you. I wish I could say more but I can't even help myself

Those thoughts are automatic ones. The good thing is that they're extremely repetitive, so they can identified precisely and recorded. I would try listing them on the left side of a page (handwritten or on screen), then, only when I wasn't feeling them (like when I was feeling okay), I would write down a contrary observation, something that indicates the overly simplistic negative thoughts are not very accurate by themselves.

The stuff on each side should be written only when you actually are feeling the feelings. That way, you can begin to realize, okay, I feel both these ways at times, which makes it increasingly more difficult to stay stuck in the negative, if you look at what you wrote when you're feeling down. For example,

I am completely worthless. I actually have tremendous value to my children, for their emotional well-being and potentially for their survival. If they were in physical danger, no one would protect them like I would.

It's really more of a cognitive exercise than anything for DID, but virtually all of us with DID have illogical or out-of-date beliefs. Getting them out of your head where you can look at them and start assessing them objectively could help.

Hi jakeln,

What you describe sounds like something called Genetic Sexual Attraction. I am adopted myself, but I don't have any experience with this as I have never met any of my biological family members.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genetic_sexual_attraction