var title = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum Psychology Feed';
		var url = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/random_blogs_c-3.html';
		var site_url = 'https://www.psychforums.com';
		var site_desc = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum';
		var time = 'Sun, 10 Aug 2025 14:54:19 -0400';

		var data = new Array();
		

		data[0] = new Array();
		data[0]['title'] = 'Food for thought.';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/food_for_thought._c-3_u-435395_b-11445.html';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/food_for_thought._c-3_u-435395_b-11445.html';
		data[0]['username'] = 'Velfang';
		data[0]['blog_id'] = '11445';
		data[0]['blog_message'] = 'How are mental diseases like ADHD even thought about? What are people thinking when they categorise someone in the ADHD category? Doesnt the society actually decide this? "Okay, youre hyperactive, i bet you have ADHD". Im an indian and ive seen a lot of people who may have been suffering from ADHD according to the intn guidelines but they lead a normal life mostly. ADHD medication is basically a drug, amphetamine. So, enlighten me pls? Btw, i dont have ADHD. Its just food for thought.';
		data[0]['blog_time'] = 'Sun, 24 Sep 2017 14:04:37 -0400';
		

		data[1] = new Array();
		data[1]['title'] = 'Please Help me figure out what's wrong with me';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/please_help_me_figure_out_what%CA%B9s_wrong_with_me_c-3_u-444138_b-12056.html';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/please_help_me_figure_out_what%CA%B9s_wrong_with_me_c-3_u-444138_b-12056.html';
		data[1]['username'] = 'confusedingulf';
		data[1]['blog_id'] = '12056';
		data[1]['blog_message'] = 'First of all I would like to apologize because this is going to be really long so I would like to say I really appreciate you reading this till the end and trying to help. <br /><br />Since november I have been having flashbacks and thoughts of everything I have done wrong in my life, and now that I think about it those things are absolutely horrible. <br /><br />To start with typical things normal people would have heard of before, I&#039;ve done things like cheating on boyfriends, lying to parents, sneaking out etc... I lost my virginity at 15 years old with a 21 year old guy and also had sex with a 28 year old who lied to me about his age, which disgusts me when I thought about it.<br /><br />Now more weird things, as a kid, I would always lie. I would like about everything. I would lie about having cancer, about having relationships with celebrities ( I would even make fake accounts and catfish people) , about being anorexic, i even catfished a real person in real life to show people and pretend he was flirting with me. I lied about having a brother that died, about people I knew, places I went to etc... I don&#039;t know why, can anyone help me figure out why I would like so much?<br /><br />Now the darkest part is sexual. As a child I remember making my dog eat me out.  Of course at that time I didn&#039;t really know what i was doing but now i see it&#039;s bestiality and I can&#039;t get over what I did. Likewise, I&#039;ve been recalling sexual games I would play as a kid which really mess with my mind. I remember licking my cousins&#039; vagina because she said she wanted me to. I also remenber pretending to be asleep while my cousins and sisters licked my breasts because I liked the feeling of it. Is this sexual abuse? Also, I remember once i asked my sister to touch me down there and my dad walked in the room before she did and stopped us. I don&#039;t know what to do about this because everytime I see my sister all i think about is if i sexually abused her and why I would do something like that with her. <br /><br />So when recalling all those wrong things I have been really bad anxiety since and I&#039;m not too sure what&#039;s happening. Along with his comes thoughts I don&#039;t want to have that I just can&#039;t stop. I keep on thinking in my head that I have been raped and my body feels so unsafe even though I know it isnt true, the feeling is still there. I get thoughts about harming people and myself all of the time, I get thoughts about violence and sexual stuff, and i don&#039;t know why. I have read online that this might be OCD which could make sense as I recall having weird &#039;if i don&#039;t do this then this will happen&quot; things as a child. For example:<br /><br />&quot; If i don&#039;t run down the corridor in less than 10 seconds then my mum will die in the future&quot; <br /><br />a lot of games like that  in my head that I see now might have been the start of this. <br /><br />I just do not understand at all what is going on in my head right now and why these thoughts don&#039;t stop. I can&#039;t figure out if i have been raped or if it&#039;s my imagination playing with me because i have no memory and i have been to the extent of asking family members who said no and gave me support. I can&#039;t figure out why i started thinking about all my mistakes all of a sudden. Please help me figure out whats happening?';
		data[1]['blog_time'] = 'Thu, 26 Apr 2018 15:00:31 -0400';
		

		data[2] = new Array();
		data[2]['title'] = 'Fighting.';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/fighting._c-3_u-258910_b-7229.html';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/fighting._c-3_u-258910_b-7229.html';
		data[2]['username'] = 'shortsnorts';
		data[2]['blog_id'] = '7229';
		data[2]['blog_message'] = 'I am a victim of sexual abuse. Most of my previous posts were usually pretty short and very vague about my situation. They were mainly used for ranting, so I didn&#039;t expect anyone to read them. Then, I began to realize from being on this website, that this would be a safe enviornment to talk about things. So, here it goes; I am a teen girl, who began getting sexually abused by my step brother in the seventh grade. It went on for two years, until I finally told my mom, which she refused to do any thing, because she didn&#039;t want to leave her boyfriend. I am now living with my Dad, and my mom and her boyfriend are now married. The last couple years have been a huge roller coaster of events, from my maternal grandmother dying, my Dad getting custody over me, my little sister getting beaten by my mom, and me finding the two things that I have eternally fallen in love with; Zachary and roller derby. I want my junior year to be the mark of my synapse. I know I still have a long way to go, and I will still have troubles ahead, but this time, I will fight.';
		data[2]['blog_time'] = 'Mon, 21 Jul 2014 02:00:08 -0400';
		

		data[3] = new Array();
		data[3]['title'] = 'HOW TO DEAL???? I have BPD';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/how_to_deal%CA%94%CA%94%CA%94%CA%94_i_have_bpd_c-3_u-259283_b-7036.html';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/how_to_deal%CA%94%CA%94%CA%94%CA%94_i_have_bpd_c-3_u-259283_b-7036.html';
		data[3]['username'] = 'Phume';
		data[3]['blog_id'] = '7036';
		data[3]['blog_message'] = 'WHERE TO START????....OH YEAH, ZEE BEGINNING, LOL&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt; THIS IS LOOOOONG!<br />Im 23, got diagnosed a month ago after a FAILED suicide attempt....<br /><br />The day I tried to kill myself was mothers day, it triggered so much and after a telephone conversation with my dad where he was basically telling me to be more open with him, I just lost it.....<br /><br />I was repeatedly raped from age 6 to 9 by 3 men who some how decided to make me their toy....my biological mother is what you call a &#039;&#039;SHEBEEN QUEEN&quot;. She was that drunk lady down you street you always heard stories about, from the many men who come in and out of her house, poor condition of the house and how her kids just had to deal with all this......*depends on where u grew up*.....anyways, she wasnt around most nights and during the day she either slept or tried to fight off her hang over....it felt normal for me, living like that, I didnt know there was any other way a family lived but it all changed when I met my father, at 6 years old......I didnt know I had a father till I met him, I never questioned who my daddy was because I ddnt know what a daddy was........<br /><br />life was a bit different during the small occassions he would come and buy me gifts, &quot;ILL NEVER FORGET MY 1ST BIKE&quot;....i felt somehow loved when he bought me stuff and gave my mother money and 3 out of 7 nights we had food to eat at home......I really loved my father......school for me is a blur, dont know why, I had different recollections of certain events but its like i slept whenever I went to school and woke up when it was over.......I remember the 3 men who did things to me and threatened me repeatedly but somehow I dont remember doing homework and writing tests at that age.........<br />I was around 9 when i started visiting my father during school holidays and eventually met my step mother and older brother. i remember how kind and gentle my step mom was and how I tried to sleep with my older brother when I was 9 and how the nanny caught me naked on the floor and my brother standing by the door looking confused..........that episode was not shared with my father or step mother.......I thought all boys touched girls the way the 3 men touched me.......<br /><br />anyways, long story short, my step mom was a social worker who noticed my weird behaviour around my brother and other male siblings, I dont know how I acted weird as I have never asked ..........my step mom had to literally hit me for me to tell her about the 3 men back at home....I got taken away from my mother and out in a place of safety after many questions and cross examinations.......that year was the best, I had soo much fun, even though I started being a bully........<br /><br />a year later I started living with my father, wasnt allowed to talk aor see my biological mother and thats when my step mom became &quot;the grinch&quot;.......i wasnt allowed to sit alone with my dad and my brother mostly lived with his biological mother.......LONG STORY SHORT: my step mom was emotionally and physically abusing me and my father being a busy business man was not around all the time.....I acted out by bullying kids at school and got into lots of trouble and went from a star student to a barely passing student.....somehow i did well in school when I was living with my mother and when I was at the place of safety.......anyways, I mostly bullied boys, started hating them, purberty came and i hated them more as I ddnt understand why my body was changing and &quot;crushes&quot;........<br /><br />High school came along and I was put into a boarding school, learnt about sex, drugs and alcohol......my dad was very strict, wasnt allowed to have friends over when i was in primary......my dad did hit me many times when i got into trouble, its his way of discipline....anyways, I failed 1 year in high school barely made it out alive, developed many eating disorders and was obese by the time I finished high school............made friends, and i did love being away...<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/how_to_deal%CA%94%CA%94%CA%94%CA%94_i_have_bpd_c-3_u-259283_b-7036.html" class="postlink-local">[ Continued ]</a>';
		data[3]['blog_time'] = 'Wed, 04 Jun 2014 07:44:23 -0400';
		

		data[4] = new Array();
		data[4]['title'] = 'Now What?';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/now_what%CA%94_c-3_u-141975_b-4223.html';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/now_what%CA%94_c-3_u-141975_b-4223.html';
		data[4]['username'] = 'Hartlepool_lad';
		data[4]['blog_id'] = '4223';
		data[4]['blog_message'] = 'I am Hartlepool_lad, I have tried to type my experience on the blog about seven or eight times but each time I have erased it, the abusive voice in my head yells at me that no one is interested in my story and that I am alone, pathetic and other words that have been planted in my mind which I don&#039;t wish to reveal at the moment.<br /><br />My systematic mental and physical destruction was to start  almost immediately, I couldn&#039;t call or meet friends I had to explain where I&#039;d been why I&#039;d had to go there and what I had been doing while there and who had I spoken to, my phone and internet were checked as were my texts and e-mails. Bank account details were demanded and checked almost daily and a reason had to be forthcoming if I had withdrawn money, receipts were checked if I had paid for anything with my card, I was cut off from contacting family as she would put it “this is the only family that matters to you now” this was being constantly shored up with abuse of the type that I was crap at what I do, a useless person and painful insults that I can only shudder at now, I was verbally abused everyday, physically abused every day, I have been beaten, punched, kicked, humiliated, stabbed, had buckets of hot bleach thrown over me her aggression hightened if the house wasn&#039;t clean enough the dish washer hadn&#039;t been emptied or the ironing hadn&#039;t been done exactly how she wanted, constant accusations of infidelity, squandering money, being a useless person.<br /><br />Then the torture of previous relationships started, I was given full and frank details of all the one night stands she&#039;d had, I was informed  by an ex friend of hers that she&#039;d had threesomes and multiple encounters in one weekend.<br /><br />She would regale me with the sordid details of these encounters and once estimated she&#039;d had in excess of two hundred that she could remember and not counting the drunken one night stands she couldn&#039;t, all the while telling me that I was worthless, useless, a crap person etc.<br /><br />It all came to a head in September 2005 when after months and years of such brutal torment the stress levels had reached such levels that my brain shut down for three days, I didn&#039;t know who I was, anything about myself, what I did for a job, my past anything.<br /><br />I was diagnosed with P.T.S.D. Dissociative Amnesia, severe depression, social phobia and I have lost everything, my memories of my life are just shadows, the event is, as always right at the front of my eyes, she still haunts my mind and still continues to influence me inside my head, I have no respite.<br /><br />Hartlepool_lad.';
		data[4]['blog_time'] = 'Tue, 19 Feb 2013 20:27:02 -0500';