var title = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum Psychology Feed';
		var url = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/random_blogs_c-3.html';
		var site_url = 'https://www.psychforums.com';
		var site_desc = 'Psychology and Mental Health Forum';
		var time = 'Mon, 18 Aug 2025 06:23:06 -0400';

		var data = new Array();
		

		data[0] = new Array();
		data[0]['title'] = 'Am i getting over my OCD or is it getting worse?';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/am_i_getting_over_my_ocd_or_is_it_getting_worse%CA%94_c-3_u-157601_b-4356.html';
		data[0]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/am_i_getting_over_my_ocd_or_is_it_getting_worse%CA%94_c-3_u-157601_b-4356.html';
		data[0]['username'] = 'Archer808';
		data[0]['blog_id'] = '4356';
		data[0]['blog_message'] = 'Im really looking for help, just insight from people who have been through this tough and stressful road... (Cant afford, to see a therapist at the moment, insurance doesn&#039;t cover lol) <br />21, young.. <br />I love people... I would give my last dollar to someone who says they need it. <br />Have trouble keeping a job, but getting one is easy as cake, I just get bored real quick..<br /><br />Now that we&#039;ve been introduced, <img src="https://www.psychforums.com/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><br /><br />For a few years now I&#039;ve been struggling with panic attacks and high stress...at first it was just that id get dizzy and start panicking, and my heart would feel like I was just lifting a fridge. ha<br /><br />But as the years progressed I started looking up things like schizophrenia, and ADD and OCD, and for about a year and a half now my obsession with being scizo has consumed me... what sucks is that I developed a mean phobia of people doing things to my food.. I was afraid someone had done something to things prepared for me if it be in a dinner or already packaged food.. I would come home and think, what if someone broke in and tampered with the food my mom made.. Or if the delivery guy was late, did he do something to the food... I stopped eating mushrooms (because of the fear that I may eat a magic shroom lol ) I lost alot of weight because of this...lol Which would bring me to the conclusion ( and i know self diagnosing myself is bad) but that i may be scizo...<br /><br />Well I started attacking my fears head on, and began eating again, anything, and everything... Things got better.. and worse. I still get the occasional panic attack but my mind is now consumed by other thoughts regarding me being scizo for other reasons now...<br /><br />My mind is stuck on the what if idea that one day I snap and kill someone, or hurt someone i love.. My attention has been targeted to one person, (for a small period of time) then sometimes just anyone.. i started to push myself away from sharp objects and such.. STOPPED that early. ( i knew that once i went down that road id be screwed with more weight to carry.)<br /><br />I also read that if you loose emotion towards these ideas, and instead of fearing them you become excited, or question what if you might just enjoy murder, that you may be deranged. So I (being the hypochondriac that I am) started to question this as well.. I get these weird and obsessive thoughts but now I try to laugh bout it and keep moving but i cant tell if im just getting better or tricking myself and just getting worse....<br /><br />I also adopt symptoms as i read them, like i read that someone with scizo will have difficulty speaking or writing, or doing certain things, or they may hear noises or see things, so I began finding myself watching myself, (and almost forcibly) started having difficulty with speaking, or seeing things out the corners of my eyes, or hearing things around my house... I feel great when i write or talk about it, i just want to know if anyone is on the same boat as me. Am i crazy, is this normal OCD, or am I wierder than i think lol. I can get a job, I have no difficulty getting woman, Im kind of a metro sexual so i take a little to much care of myself, I like to talk, i can get along with anyone..Im just so lost rite about now, I want out of this fear, and what feels like limbo!!!<br /><br />What scares me the most out of all of this is that i know how to write well, and speak well, maybe my grammar is horrific on this little yahoo answers piece, but when i really want to throw down i can... And thats what scares me, am i sane, and just obsessing over being crazy or just crazy pretending to sane...?<br /><br />please leave a line, much love <br />Richie';
		data[0]['blog_time'] = 'Sat, 16 Mar 2013 17:34:21 -0400';
		

		data[1] = new Array();
		data[1]['title'] = 'Schizophrenia and Multiple Personality Disorder *May Trigger*';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/schizophrenia_and_multiple_personality_disorder_*may_trigger*_c-3_u-296612_b-8851.html';
		data[1]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/schizophrenia_and_multiple_personality_disorder_*may_trigger*_c-3_u-296612_b-8851.html';
		data[1]['username'] = 'crazy_banana';
		data[1]['blog_id'] = '8851';
		data[1]['blog_message'] = 'I am Rose, an alter of Anna. She is 15, I am 16. I am always with her, watching, observing what happens. I control her memories and what she remembers. I know all of her memories from the very beginning, and I can, at times, come out to act as a co-Host. I know everything she&#039;s gone through , and I act as a leader between all of the alters. I can, at times, control who it is that comes forward. I am their manager and leader. Rage is the hardest to control, because she can draw a line of destruction whenever and wherever she is. She is filled with bottled up anger and rage that was never dealt with all our life. Should I be scared? No, she&#039;s only trying to protect our system. I feel more afraid of Echo, because he&#039;s always crying and I&#039;m scared that he&#039;ll one day give into the darkness. <br /><br />Everyone thinks that they suffer alone from our schizophrenia, but we all suffer from it equally. Even Anna suffers from it, seeing and hearing people as if she were on acid. Rae is only angered and annoyed, but Brian, whom is the most affected by it, is made to feel even more afraid than he already is all the time. Brian is a moderately autistic 18 year old with the mind of a 5 year old. He enjoys wearing shorts and faded salmon shirts. He fears everyone and everything. He is the most affected because he is so young mentally and is suffering from autism.<br /><br />Brian was made in the hospital, after being restrained for days. Rae was made after being in the inpatient psychiatric unit for a month. Rage was made from years of bottled up rage. Echo was made from an event Anna went through while she was only nine; thus, the reason that Echo is permanently nine. I was made, as a mute, mature girl, from years of being told not to speak about the horrors I&#039;ve faced.';
		data[1]['blog_time'] = 'Wed, 26 Aug 2015 01:15:47 -0400';
		

		data[2] = new Array();
		data[2]['title'] = 'I think I am Covert narcissists and a gifted';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_think_i_am_covert_narcissists_and_a_gifted_c-3_u-290002_b-8642.html';
		data[2]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_think_i_am_covert_narcissists_and_a_gifted_c-3_u-290002_b-8642.html';
		data[2]['username'] = 'MarC0Sand0';
		data[2]['blog_id'] = '8642';
		data[2]['blog_message'] = 'Whole of my life I know that I am unique. Since I was 7 years old I can feel that I am always out of place from other children. I can&#039;t feel any deep connection. I was just always quiet and shy. <br />My situation at home is that I have a parents whose having an incredibly expectation from me since I was always in 1st section in the class. My mother is always spoiling me(also having codependency tendency), my father will never listen to anyone aside from himself and always having a rough words(narcissistic tendency) and I have a big brother who I think having autism with narcissistic personality disorder who is a big bully in my life that always abuse me physically and verbally.<br /><br />My brother abuse me a lot verbally(threatening, bullying, devaluing) almost everyday since I was 13 I already used silent treatment in our relationship till now that I was 20. Thanks a lot since he moved to other place now. <br /><br />When I was 16 and I am in college I went far away from home to study in university. This is the time that I can really conclude that I have something inside of me. I became so depressed, but I don&#039;t want to commit suicide. All of the characteristics of covert narcissists I did. <br /><br /><br /><br />___ I can become entirely absorbed in thinking about my personal affairs, my health, my cares or my relations to others.<br />___ My feelings are easily hurt by ridicule or the slighting remarks of others.<br />___ When I enter a room I often become self-conscious and feel that the eyes of others are upon me.<br />___ I dislike sharing the credit of an achievement with others.<br />___ I feel that I have enough on my hand without worrying about other people&#039;s troubles.<br />___ I feel that I am temperamentally different from most people.<br />___ I often interpret the remarks of others in a personal way.<br />___ I easily become wrapped up in my own interests and forget the existence of others.<br />___ I dislike being with a group unless I know that I am appreciated by at least one of those present.<br />___ I am secretly &quot;put out&quot; or annoyed when other people come to me with their troubles, asking me for their time and sympathy.<br />___ I am jealous of good-looking people.<br />___ I tend to feel humiliated when criticized.<br />___ I wonder why other people aren&#039;t more appreciative of my good qualities.<br />___ I tend to see other people as being either great or terrible.<br />___ I sometimes have fantasies about being violent without knowing why.<br />___ I am especially sensitive to success and failure.<br />___ I have problems that nobody else seems to understand.<br />___ I try to avoid rejection at all costs.<br />___ My secret thoughts, feelings, and actions would horrify some of my friends.<br />___ I tend to become involved in relationships in which I alternately adore and despise the other person.<br />___ Even when I am in a group of friends, I often feel very alone and uneasy.<br />___ I resent others who have what I lack.<br />___ Defeat or disappointment usually shame or anger me, but I try not to show it.<br /><br />Link to the above information: http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/23-signs-youe28099re-secretly-a-narcissist-masquerading-as-a-sensitive-introvert/<br /><br />I will admit. It&#039;s like reading my self. . .<br /><br /><br />last two months ago. While watching youtube I suddenly came up with &quot;How to know a secret narcissists&quot;. First I was just having fun but when I literally looked at it. That&#039;s me. So I researched it and found the questions above.<br /><br />Talking of being gifted. I&#039;m not just telling this since I am a narcissists &#039;cause I literally have evidences that I am a gifted. I take an online IQ test and I range in a gifted person. I also members musical bands, marching band, Rondalla(string instrument players) and I always excel and excellent in this area. I also always competing in chess competition and got 2nd place in national level. And a very good math thinker. I am not telling lies but it&#039;s up to you if you will. Since I am an ultimate pathological lair I might lying. <br /><br />But this is where I am confused since gifted and covert narcissists...<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_think_i_am_covert_narcissists_and_a_gifted_c-3_u-290002_b-8642.html" class="postlink-local">[ Continued ]</a>';
		data[2]['blog_time'] = 'Mon, 06 Jul 2015 21:31:54 -0400';
		

		data[3] = new Array();
		data[3]['title'] = 'I feel as if my DP/DR is irreversible?';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_feel_as_if_my_dpdr_is_irreversible%CA%94_c-3_u-247564_b-5713.html';
		data[3]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/i_feel_as_if_my_dpdr_is_irreversible%CA%94_c-3_u-247564_b-5713.html';
		data[3]['username'] = 'maryghan';
		data[3]['blog_id'] = '5713';
		data[3]['blog_message'] = 'I&#039;ve had dp/dr, emphasis on the DR, for about 4-5 months. I&#039;m 19 years old. I know I got it after a visit to the ER a few months ago for chest pains, which turned out to be acid reflux. On top of that, I was and still am having migraines and very intense sharp pains in my head. I do have an appt with a neurologist. <br />Anyway, the world has felt completely fake and dreamy to me starting a few weeks or days after that visit to the hospital. I know my anxiety spiked an extraordinary amount, the worst it&#039;s ever been. I&#039;ve been suffering from panic attacks since I was about 9 or 10 -- I remember sort of feeling derealized once back then too. However I didn&#039;t process it as intensely, so it went away quickly, plus I was young and my mind was occupied almost always. <br />I&#039;m just terrified at the moment, because I&#039;ve always been tortured by existential thoughts to begin with, but having dp/dr makes them so much worse. Unbearably worse -- they would send me into a spiralling panic where I&#039;d just cry and cry for days on end, and I hate being alone with my thoughts -- I&#039;ve been sleeping in my mom&#039;s bed  <img src="https://www.psychforums.com/images/smilies/icon_redface.gif" alt=":oops:" title="Embarassed" />  This dreamy feeling is so real, I can&#039;t always convince myself that I&#039;m not dreaming, or that the world ISN&#039;T fake. And that is what&#039;s been getting worse. It&#039;s like my brain is convincing me everything is fake,oh well. I feel completely hopeless at this point.<br />My panic attacks lately have been about how I can&#039;t believe I&#039;m going through this. I can&#039;t believe this is actually happening, so my brain says &quot;it&#039;s not&quot; and now I&#039;m fk&#039;d.<br />Will everything ever feel real again?<br />Will I ever enjoy life again?<br />I think another reason I&#039;m stuck in this is because I&#039;m not in school, and I&#039;m unemployed, There&#039;s only so much I can do to get a job. I&#039;ve applied everywhere.<br />I have memory problems, panic attacks in which I feel as if I&#039;ve dropped acid, and the world feels so fake I can&#039;t believe it&#039;s not. Writing all this down/talking about it does not help one bit. I&#039;ve purchased 2 books in the mail that are supposed to help me--one should come tomorrow, so wish me luck xx<br />This is one fk&#039;d up anxiety symptom.<br />(Hard to process it even is one anymore)';
		data[3]['blog_time'] = 'Tue, 29 Oct 2013 12:34:46 -0400';
		

		data[4] = new Array();
		data[4]['title'] = 'HOW TO DEAL???? I have BPD';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/how_to_deal%CA%94%CA%94%CA%94%CA%94_i_have_bpd_c-3_u-259283_b-7036.html';
		data[4]['url'] = 'https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/how_to_deal%CA%94%CA%94%CA%94%CA%94_i_have_bpd_c-3_u-259283_b-7036.html';
		data[4]['username'] = 'Phume';
		data[4]['blog_id'] = '7036';
		data[4]['blog_message'] = 'WHERE TO START????....OH YEAH, ZEE BEGINNING, LOL&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt; THIS IS LOOOOONG!<br />Im 23, got diagnosed a month ago after a FAILED suicide attempt....<br /><br />The day I tried to kill myself was mothers day, it triggered so much and after a telephone conversation with my dad where he was basically telling me to be more open with him, I just lost it.....<br /><br />I was repeatedly raped from age 6 to 9 by 3 men who some how decided to make me their toy....my biological mother is what you call a &#039;&#039;SHEBEEN QUEEN&quot;. She was that drunk lady down you street you always heard stories about, from the many men who come in and out of her house, poor condition of the house and how her kids just had to deal with all this......*depends on where u grew up*.....anyways, she wasnt around most nights and during the day she either slept or tried to fight off her hang over....it felt normal for me, living like that, I didnt know there was any other way a family lived but it all changed when I met my father, at 6 years old......I didnt know I had a father till I met him, I never questioned who my daddy was because I ddnt know what a daddy was........<br /><br />life was a bit different during the small occassions he would come and buy me gifts, &quot;ILL NEVER FORGET MY 1ST BIKE&quot;....i felt somehow loved when he bought me stuff and gave my mother money and 3 out of 7 nights we had food to eat at home......I really loved my father......school for me is a blur, dont know why, I had different recollections of certain events but its like i slept whenever I went to school and woke up when it was over.......I remember the 3 men who did things to me and threatened me repeatedly but somehow I dont remember doing homework and writing tests at that age.........<br />I was around 9 when i started visiting my father during school holidays and eventually met my step mother and older brother. i remember how kind and gentle my step mom was and how I tried to sleep with my older brother when I was 9 and how the nanny caught me naked on the floor and my brother standing by the door looking confused..........that episode was not shared with my father or step mother.......I thought all boys touched girls the way the 3 men touched me.......<br /><br />anyways, long story short, my step mom was a social worker who noticed my weird behaviour around my brother and other male siblings, I dont know how I acted weird as I have never asked ..........my step mom had to literally hit me for me to tell her about the 3 men back at home....I got taken away from my mother and out in a place of safety after many questions and cross examinations.......that year was the best, I had soo much fun, even though I started being a bully........<br /><br />a year later I started living with my father, wasnt allowed to talk aor see my biological mother and thats when my step mom became &quot;the grinch&quot;.......i wasnt allowed to sit alone with my dad and my brother mostly lived with his biological mother.......LONG STORY SHORT: my step mom was emotionally and physically abusing me and my father being a busy business man was not around all the time.....I acted out by bullying kids at school and got into lots of trouble and went from a star student to a barely passing student.....somehow i did well in school when I was living with my mother and when I was at the place of safety.......anyways, I mostly bullied boys, started hating them, purberty came and i hated them more as I ddnt understand why my body was changing and &quot;crushes&quot;........<br /><br />High school came along and I was put into a boarding school, learnt about sex, drugs and alcohol......my dad was very strict, wasnt allowed to have friends over when i was in primary......my dad did hit me many times when i got into trouble, its his way of discipline....anyways, I failed 1 year in high school barely made it out alive, developed many eating disorders and was obese by the time I finished high school............made friends, and i did love being away...<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.psychforums.com/blog/Psychology/how_to_deal%CA%94%CA%94%CA%94%CA%94_i_have_bpd_c-3_u-259283_b-7036.html" class="postlink-local">[ Continued ]</a>';
		data[4]['blog_time'] = 'Wed, 04 Jun 2014 07:44:23 -0400';