I am 27 and have lived with cutting for most of my life lately I have put quite a lot of thought into when in started or why I started. I think back and remembered cutting at 11 years old why I did it not a clue could have got in trouble or something but it was a *mod edit* razer yet its been months scents I have shopped for the in boulck there still around. its been 16 years I have been cutting....

Today day and time 20th:
Its been hard lately I know what I do is far from OK good or safe
A key that keeps me going to deep or bleed for to long is the thought of tears on my sisters face.
I'm do to have a son in two months.
Her head games to help this time I'm going through.
Its been three days every night shower on blade out cut *mod edit* times upper arm tell my heart slows to a mild beat a twitch here a twitch there I fill like I'm taking to far waking up or fading out in a tub of my sin filled blood

Not really sure why I'm writing all I know is I'm lost only wish I can cry it out ....

Ok, so I'm pretty sure there is something wrong with me. I have had this feeling toward my stepmother since I could remember. Like a desire. I know it's wrong, it's not right because she is married to my father and she is my stepmother. My father cheated on her and I just wanted to tell her so bad how I felt about her, and how much she deserved better but they got back together. My father married her without telling her he had a vasectomy. And all these years later she really wants a kid, I wish I could help her have a kid...
I am 21 years old, and I moved back into their house about a year ago because my roommate moved out of state and left the bills all on me. I go into their room sometimes when they go to work and I smell her freshly worn panties, and masturbate to them. I found a box of her toys(dildos) and I masturbated to them and licked them. I also found their sex tape and watched it so I could see what she looks like naked. Sometimes when my dad leaves to go to work, I hear her getting into the shower and I fantasize going in there and joining her, or going into the room and waiting on her to get out.
I have control enough to never do anything to crazy, but what should I do? Should I just get help, or tell her what I have done/ how I feel, or nothing? Please don't comment how sick I am, and how I need to find god.. I know I am sick, I just can't control myself sometimes.

Angry, too, need the rules. If you would like to express their outrage, we must carefully choose the words and expressions that you are going to use it. Words can inflict a very strong emotional wound. Always remember that. And even in anger. Even if you are very angry, you should try to remain calm. Then you will be easier to formulate their claims. Do not focus on the process itself. Do not forget in the heat of anger, what you're angry, why are you angry, what goals you want to achieve, expressing their outrage.
You must also show that you are not satisfied with the personality of man, and his specific act or situation, in which he has put you. You should not insult the man. No need to remember all his faults, which are not relevant to the subject of your anger. Moreover, it is impossible to point to some external features of the man.
It is not advisable to show anger towards his boss. You do not reach the wrath of their goals. But you can lose a job.
If you are the boss, then you can afford to be angry at his negligent subordinates. But it is necessary to comply with all regulations. We must not go beyond appearances.
Anger can have different degrees. But the highest degree of your anger should be used very rarely.

I carry around a little pocket knife , when its just me and my daughter home. I won't take a nap when my daughter is sleeping aswell because I'm scared someone might take her while im sleeping or threaten to hurt her to make me do things. My mind continuously comes up with bad situations (example-if someone is knocking at the door I get paranoid they might force there way inside and hurt me or my family so ignore it but then I think if I ignore it they might think no ones home and break in ). I feel safe when my partner and everyone is home, but when its bedtime I lay awake and feel like someone's watching me from the windows or is going to break In and kill all of us. When I dose off I wake up scared when I feel my partner is gone and I jump to conclusions he has been dragged away and stabbed but in reality he just goes to the toilet a lot during the night . I usually end up grabbing a knife and putting it safely near me till I finally fall asleep which normally is around 3 in the morning. I feel it's my job to protect my family and if I let my guard down, someone will take their life's away and mine. I try to talk to my partner about it but he just says "stop thinking silly", I'm trying to stop but its not easy. Am I just to paranoid or crazy...

Is it Possible? YES

So what is it that is possible? Right to the point. What I am saying is possible is that the deep amount of sadness and depression you are presently in can be changed. Not in 10 weeks but in 10 minutes. Sure , right, this person is way out of their mind and I am not going to keep reading is what your saying. STOP. Keep reading, I did not say eliminated in 10 minutes but changed. After the ten 10 minutes you are on a road to wellness and in that same day you will start to experience major changes throughout your body and mind. Yeah right. I would not write this if I have not experienced it myself for one full week.( referring to number 2, breathing and exercise )Do I know the pain of depression? To the deepest levels imaginable. Not only in the mind but the body. Imagine taking a 10 inch giant cutting knife to your chest everyday for a full month and for every second of the day you are seeing yourself killing yourself. Maybe you don't have to imagine but at least now know your reading thoughts of someone who knows your pain. Spending years in agony and torture with only one thing driving me. A higher cause or purpose higher then myself( which can be a loved one, animals included, helping people , etc) So all that I can do now is share what I have learned. Since we live in an age of instant information I will write down ten of the most important factors for change to take place.

1)Desire to take action to make the change and giving up any habit of fear and doubt. Meaning just give something a try and see what happens. You hear this a lot but it is absolutely true. Once you commit, something will happen that breaks a pattern or a state your in that you don't want to be in.
2) Using your body and breath to instantly make an impact on your present state( exercise, walk run, jumping jacks, weight lifting, push ups,etc) this can help with anxiety as well. What I am relearning is what a deeper impact the use of my body and breath then me trying to think myself out of something. Even completely changing my posture can cause something positive to happen. Cant walk or run? Try standing or sitting and lift your arms and move them like your rowing a boat.( both arms at the same time) Breath in through the mouth while pulling and breath out while your releasing. Try this at first for 7 to 10 times and see what happens. You will get energy. Throughout the body and mind. Do it again if you can or until you get to that state. If it doesn't happen after two attempts , stop,it will effect you within an hour. Breathing is key . Your a smoker? Try it anyway. It will be a great way to start valuing your breath. Need to relax? Breath in through the nostrils, hold a few seconds then exhale deeply. This I would not overdue , maybe two times, because you need to get used to it and it is very powerful. Take it from someone who doubted this for a long time but then tried it. It works. It gives you the charge your going to need to fight the bad condition your in. The rowing , breathing exercise can be done as much as you want. The nostril breathing takes some building up to. Stretching for a minute or two is excellent as well. Want to wake up and feel better instantly? Try some cold water and rub it over your face a few times, even try rubbing it over your upper body for a minute. Try warm water for relaxing. About exercise , if you have not done it for a long while, just do it for a very short time. Eventually you will be able to work up to more intensity. Remember BREATHE.
3) When your thinking is bad get into someone elses thoughts that are much better and positive and uplifting( book, music, you tube etc)
4) Its often said that fear is the main reason that holds people back from making a change or taking action. As true as it is, its doubt that holds us back just as much if not more. Please stop doubting and start trying.
5) Think of three options( you might think of more) that you have to break the...

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