Mood: Exhausted
Listening to: Blake Shelton - Sure be cool if you did


It is one of those nights where I cannot get my mind to shut up. I am so sleepy but alas it manages to escape me. Racing thoughts and the like, This is my first time online today and it is 4:45 am so I guess that would technically mean that I was not online at all yesterday. I have not been able to focus enough on one thing to read a book. That is very stressful as reading is an outlet for me, I have my youtube playlist playing on shuffle so I don't even have to make a decision about a song cause right now my mind won't let me even think on it enough. I thought coming on here and writing for a bit would make me feel better or at least give me something to do but even now it is difficult to focus enough not to stray the subject. I love music there is rarely a time in my life that music is not playing. I listen to just about every genre I can think of with the exception of polka. Lately when I try to go to sleep paranoia takes over, it seems like the moment I become "still" the $#%^ hits the fan so to speak. Paranoia,agitation, conversations in my head with more than one voice. WTF? I moved across the country and have yet to see a therapist or mental health professional for that matter. I have been off meds since roughly June. I sometimes feel like I am watching my life play in front of me like a movie without the option to react. I mean my body is reacting but I am not, what the hell is that about? The other night I went to bed around 3 am to try to sleep but the moment I stopped listening to music and reading articles online and settled down in my bed with the lights off it got ugly. First the paranoia set in, it was extreme. I felt like I was screaming inside my mind but no sounds escaped me. It seemed endless then a soft little crying voice was in my head like a thought but not my thought. Then the weirdest thing happened.... I got this mental image of a little girl crying holding a teddy bear curled up in a corner. I don't know how I knew but the little girls name is Sophia and she is 6. I have never seen this little girl before so how would I know her in my mind? Let me say this, My name is not Sophia and I have never personally met anyone by that name. After the image of the little girl left the "screaming" in my head started back up. I don't know.... I am lost and not sure what is going on. After that night I called and made an appointment with a dr in the new town I am in. I am nervous about going to a new dr, I do not trust easily and I don't know if I can open up to them.

Until recently, I never viewed my introversion as much of problem. I was told at work that I "need to be more social". This really struck a cord with me because I never thought that as I began my adult life my introversion may limit my success . So I decided to start this blog and chronicle my journey of becoming 'more social'.

Why are you so quiet? He must me hiding something...

Now this is easier said than done of course. My whole life people have been telling me, 'you're so quiet', 'you should talk more' or my new favorite 'be more social'. It's gotten to the point where some people feel uncomfortable around me because I'm so quiet. What is it that makes them so uncomfortable? Is it that my behavior or lack there of, is so unusual they just can't stand it? Is it that I'm some psycho who's going to snap at any moment? Is it the natural human tendency to be afraid of someone who's not like you? Not my problem right? They should be more understanding. Well unfortunately in a world of extroverts it is my problem. As much as I would love to live in a world where everyone accepts each other the way they are, that's just not reality. It's an extroverts world and if I'm going to thrive and not just survive, I've got to get to work and figure something out. So I'm going to be more 'social'. I'm not sure what that will look like, but in the following months, if not years, I will try and look deeper into the complex relationship that introverts and extroverts have and attempt different strategies for becoming more 'social'.

Why is it that quiet people make others feel uncomfortable?

Please share your thoughts.

Hello! I'm a 19- year old female and I can't seem to say no to sex. I don't feel the urge to constantly have sex but if a guy asks me to have sex I will always say yes. I beat myself up for this so much and I'm not sure if it is a sexual addiction and I don't know how to treat it.
Please comment you opinions!

Hello all, I'm new here.
My sister gave birth and had really bad Postpartum Depression and she was already diagnosed with Bipolar disorder before hand. I have raised my nephew since he was born. She has a boyfriend, a little over a year now, and has recently moved to a different town. About 2 hours from where I live. I barely get to see him anyways because I have a very demanding job.
I had him over the summer for a week. He told me some information, and with my job I am a mandatory reporter (with a reporting number), and I ended up calling CPS on her. I went up at the beginning of December to see him for his birthday and give him his birthday gift.
She allowed me to see him for about an hour. After that she asked to talk when he was asleep. She asked why I had called CPS, I told her the circumstances, what was said to me, and the face that I'm a mandatory reporter. She told me "I'm your sister, you should have confronted me first." I again tried to explain to her if I don't report child abuse, I could not only go to jail but lose my licenses. She will probably never understand, but now she will not "ever" let me see him again.
I miss my nephew terribly. I hate that she has her thumb on him, and all control over him. Also, I fear for his safety around her boyfriend. I expressed this to CPS as well. The outcome was that they did a wellness check. They said, until they see bruises or broken bones they really can't do anything.
Recently, 8 years old now, they have been leaving him home alone. Unfortunately in Arizona there is no legal age at which you can leave a child home alone. But, if something happens to the child it is considered child neglect.
....... Ugh..... Stressful situation

Ive been struggling with depersonalization for a few months now. It began after a year long 24/7 battle with extreme social anxiety and fear. My brain has shut down and i dont feel fear anymore or nervousness. Not even when talking to people. I feel very dettached and unhuman. I dont feel real. I cant even recall the last moment of happiness i found. I feeel relaxed and peaceful but unable to relate to anyone and have a very profound lack of interest in socializiong. Although i dont really feel emotion i can tell i am experiencing symptoms closer related to panic disorder - like difficulty breathing , tightened blurry vision, tensed jaw, etc. the most disturbing apsect of this to me is that i sincierely believe i have no personality, quirks, opinions, interests, or dislikes. Nothing moves me and i can not seem to make my mind up about anything simple or large because i really feel internally that i just dont have a preference for anythinng at all. I have no sense of self to be honest. I often feel transparent and itd hard to feel like you have a relationship with anyone when you cant process that they truly want to talk to you, or that they are actually addressing you . This is hard to explain but if anyone feels the same way it would be very helpful to hear.