Ok, so I've been up for about a half an hour since this "nightmare" that I had. I don't remember the beginning but, it was short, extremely vivid and has me a little shooken up.
Ok, so I was at my ex boyfriends house. His mom had this extremely amazing camera which she let me use to take some quick pictures of. So I proceed to the back door, snap a picture of the sky from the back porch. Then I end up towards the end of the back yard by the fence while holding the camera on an angle. I take a picture of the backyard and the back of his house and review the picture. There, I see a little girl, in a purple dress with curly long brown hair bending over picking a dandelion. I look away from the camera in awe checking to make sure I'm not seeing anything, but low and behold I am, I just captured a ghost on camera. She was freakishly see through but yet so bold. I then run around to the front of the house avoiding her area. I run in the house and show the picture to my ex boyfriend telling him "do you see anything wrong in this picture!?" He then says, no. Then I zoom in on her, and he says "wow that's insane" and calls his mom over. I then show her, and it begins to get darker and darker in the house while she just has a blank stare on her face. She runs upstairs disappearing saying, "someone turn some lights on in this house" meanwhile, I literally cannot breathe, I am literally having a panic attack in my dream as my ex boyfriend picks me up and holds me. I then awaken from this physically terrifying "dream" with my mouth open, and I'm stuck. Literally stuck for twenty minutes in a daze and I cannot move. After I actually come to my senses I'm scared, terrified and in a lot of pain. As of right now, about an hour after my dream, my legs hurt really bad. Like they got ran over or something. A very dull pain shooting from my hip down to my big toe. I have never EVER experienced a "dream" like this before, and if anyone has any insight, or opinion as to why I woke up in pain from this, it would be appreciated. I'm honestly still in shock from how vivid this little girl was. I'm too afraid to go back to bed and rest peacefully.

I just don't understand my "family". I leave my purse and wallet out on the table and they come and go through it. They just pick my wallet up and flip through my check book. And when I said something my grandmother got mad. She just got mad and smarted me off, then walked away. It's like this all the time, it's like I'm supposed to let them run over me and do or say whatever they want about me or my stuff, and if I say anything I'm a bitch or I don't know what I'm talking about. Honestly it makes me sick just to be here. Sometimes I just feel like I can't take it anymore, like my time is over and I should just commit suicide.

Sorry this is very long but please read this because i need help...
Hi, I am a 16 year old girl and have been struggling with hocd for about 2 years. It all started in 7th grade when I had an intense crush on a boy. Whenever I was around him I had butterflies and I actually wanted to marry him. He liked me too but he soon developed a crush on another girl and I wasn't even jealous because I didn't like him as much anymore. One night I was at a sleepover with my friend and I was laying on the couch when a thought popped into my head, "you don't like **** anymore, are you gay?" After that one thought, it has changed my life. ( I am not homophobic but I was always kinda uncomfortable around gay people at that age. But now I am not at homophobic or uncomfortable around gay people anymore)

A couple weeks later, I was seeking reassurance on being lesbian and stumbled across the term hold. I had all of the symptoms and felt better. But, the worrying didn't stop. In 7th grade I was only scared about "becoming" gay, I knew i wasn't but I was just scared i was "changing" into being gay. I went to my school guidance counselor and she told me that it was ok if I was gay and should learn to accept it, this heightened my worrying because I couldn't handle the fact of being gay. There were times where I was not worrying and then times where I was. After a while of being worried I didn't worry about it at all. I had some thoughts here and there but ignored them. It was the start of 8th grade (the grade I am in now) and I didn't worry about it. Then it was triggered again, (I forgot how). Soon my mind made me think I had crushes on every single one of my friends (who were girls). My mind said "If you aren't attracted to him, you're gay." It also started to change my past and say "you like her" even when I felt nothing for her when I was with her. Recently, I had a small panic attack at a restaurant where i couldn't eat any single thing (not even a small piece of rice) because I was worrying so much. My mind kept screaming "your bi!..." That night at the restaurant I planned to come out to my mom (my mom knows about my hocd) but the problem was that I didn't like any girls. I would also look at my friends (who were girls) and become jealous of them because they do not have to go what I go through. I would say in my head, "they are so lucky that they are straight. They are going to have the best relationship"

I then began to dig into my past (i still am) and there are some things that I have done as a child that i can use as proof that I am gay. Keep in mind that I have never been attracted to anyone of the same sex besides false attractions (which is not even real attraction). My mind would also say "All the girls think your older brother is cute, but you don't. This means your gay." And now that I am writing that, what on Earth was I thinking, am i stupid? Lol. I would also have false attractions for people on TV shows and have dreams and wake up feeling aroused and feeling that I liked it. I know that arousal doesn't mean your gay so it doesn't worry me at all.

I know that I like boys but I am just scared that I like girls to. I always wanted to have a boyfriend but now I do not as much. My mind is now saying "being with a girl isn't so bad." "it will be fun to be in a relationship with a girl" I have never dreamed about girls the way I have dreamed about boys and the only relationship I want with girls is friendship. But as i am writing this my mind is saying, "you wouldn't mind it, it would be fun!" Whenever I go out, it is just natural for me to want to impress a guy. I have never wanted to dress to impress a girl. I cant picture my future with a girl because its just not me. I also don't think it is necessary to come out because deep down I know i'm not.
I used to have bad intrusive thoughts, but now those thoughts aren't even...

[ Continued ]

Obviously I'm going to know the answer, it's just I want to hear another persons opinion.
I'm a 16 year old girl and I like fantasizing about things, sometimes it's actually meaningful and sweet, then sometimes it's just dirty sex with this guy I have been dreaming about lately.
I dunno what drives me, but it turns me on so much to be "dominant" over the person, not like "chains and whips" (No, not at ALL) but in a way that the other person can't say "no" to?
Who knows, I'm pretty sure I'm a pervert but I don't really know why or how I became one.
(^-^)

Hi, I'm a new member and have registered in the hope of finding a better understanding and hopefully some peace regarding my intimate relationship with my half sister.

I was adopted at birth and met my biological mother and two half sisters 6 years ago (I was 38 at the time). My two half sisters (the eldest was 28 and the youngest was 25) (and no-one else) never knew of my existence. After my mother disclosed and discussed my "re-appearance" with them, we met for the first time in 2006. From the very first moment, there was a very special bond between my eldest half sister and me. Although I dearly love my youngest half sister and we have a great relationship, which is very supportive and loving, we do not have a physical attraction to each other and we do not share the same level of emotional "understanding" that I share with my eldest half sister.

From the first moment on, my eldest half sister and I shared an amazing bond. I live in a different country to them (my mother and two half sisters), but each time we get to see each other, we have an ability to enter each other's souls in an instant, as if we have never been apart. The "connection" between us has always contained an element of physical attraction, but we never acted on it, nor discussed it. In each other's presence, we were however always stunned by the fact that no-one else picked up on it, since it always felt (and still does) like it was almost "tangible".

In 2008, our relationship became sexual and on each trip since then, we have enjoyed the most amazing intimate moments both she and I have ever experienced. First and foremost, we are truly soul mates and we share an acceptance of each other, that neither of us have ever experienced anywhere else. Our physical relationship is not our primary attraction, but flows from the amazing intimacy we share emotionally. If it were possible and because of society's views regarding relationships like these, we'd choose to exist as "just" half brother and sister, but we both understand that we'd be lying to ourselves if we pretended this to be true.

We are both Christians and love our churches and our communities. I don't have a problem with our relationship in view of my relationship with God, but my sister does struggle with it from time to time. We also understand the consequences (perhaps not fully) of our relationship, both in a community and in our family.

We have not shared our relationship with anyone and my hope is to enter into meaningful discussion regarding our situation, so that I may better understand our options. There is so much more to say, but this will do for a start.