I'm 19 years old and for my entire life I've been having troubles feeling anything at all. I always thought there was some logical and simple explanation to why I wasn't like everyone else, and I assumed it would heal with time, but it didn't. It just keeps getting worse. First let me begin with that I'm completely unable to open up to other people. I have never opened up. To anyone. If I'm even close to doing it I feel disgusted by myself, I get nausea and an urge to flee. I've also never cared like others. I can't really feel empathy. Or I mean, I can, for like animals and my family, but no one else. I'm literally serious when I say my best friend could die tomorrow and I wouldn't be able to feel a thing. Obviously I'd think it's sad, but it wouldn't effect me on an emotional level.

I hide this part of me, and I certainly don't talk about it with anyone. I want to be normal but I just can't. I have tried to involve myself in other people, in relationships, and even - in my sillier moments - in love. But it doesn't work. Something in me is broken or missing. I love my immediate family, but that's about it. I can lie without feeling any kind of remorse, I manipulate people very easily, and when someone really gets on my bad side, I just attack their weaknesses and break them down with words. It's terrible, I know, but I can't stop. Even as I write it, I know I say it's terrible, but I don't feel terrible. I just know that it's not how a person should act. I could never physically hurt another person, but not because it would make me feel bad but more because I know it's wrong.

My condition is just getting worse, I've started to distance myself from everybody because I feel so tired of wearing a mask and constantly faking to like what they like or play their stupid games. I don't love others. I'm incapable of feeling on a deeper level, there are no strong emotions in me. I feel narcisstic but at the same time I hate myself. I can get furious very easily but it goes away as quickly as it comes. I haven't had such a bad childhood but I mean my mother was going through her hardest part of life when I was a kid, and she took it out on me a lot. Sometimes physically but mostly mentally, such as I constantly heard that I was a bad kid, and bad news, and she blamed me for a lot of stuff that wasn't really my fault. She changed and got so much better when I was like 13 or something and now she's the best mom ever and apologized 200 times but I can't seem to let go. It's stuck with me.. I'm seriously worried that my condition will become worse and something bad will happen... What's wrong with me?

Obviously I'm going to know the answer, it's just I want to hear another persons opinion.
I'm a 16 year old girl and I like fantasizing about things, sometimes it's actually meaningful and sweet, then sometimes it's just dirty sex with this guy I have been dreaming about lately.
I dunno what drives me, but it turns me on so much to be "dominant" over the person, not like "chains and whips" (No, not at ALL) but in a way that the other person can't say "no" to?
Who knows, I'm pretty sure I'm a pervert but I don't really know why or how I became one.
(^-^)

so im a teen, a girl, and i have overprotective parents, and by overprotective , i mean embarrassingly overprotective. my dad is more laid back and will let me do more things and go to more places, but my mum is the main issue. if i ask to go somewhere, i have to ask my mum. its like my dad has no input on my social life what so ever.

recently i have been talking to a boy that i like and we have been getting on well. he is really nice and i would love to get closer to him. but obviously my mum is getting in the way of that. she wont let me go to a boys house even if its for a couple of hours or for dinner and if a boy comes over she wont let us go upstairs which is pretty embarrassing. i dont want to have a sexual relationship with a boy at this age but my mum doesnt seem to trust me and its really bringing me down.

whenever i talk to a boy im scared to get close to them because i know my mum will mess things up. i feel like im not allowed to talk to a boy or to have a boyfriend. i mean, im a teen, obviously im going to be talking to boys or wanting to have a boyfriend but my mum gets in the way of everything.

its not even just with boys, its with everything! she only likes about 3 of my friends and she will let me stay at their houses but if its someone she hasnt met or doesnt like she wont let me. like my friend asked me to go to her nans birthday party on the weekend and stay at hers after, and my mum wont let me because she doesnt like her. she ruins everything! i know its cliche that im a teenage girl and saying she ruins my life but she really does. and its bringing me down completely.

she wont let me out after dark and i always have a curfew to get home. this boy im talking to doesnt go to my school, but hes the same age as me, so i can only see him on weekends and i cant even see him that long because it gets dark early in the winter and i cant see him after school either so i only ever see him like once a week. he asks me to meet up with him after school sometimes and i always have to come up with an excuse like every other time she says i cant go somewhere.

if i ask her to go somewhere or do something she either says 'no' straight away or she says 'i'll think about it' and most of the time its a no anyway. im a teenager, she needs to let me go places and experience new things so i can learn from my mistakes. keeping me locked up in the house all the time isnt going to make things any better, its just going to raise me into a liar and make me want to rebel against things. apparently overprotective parents can lead to social anxiety too. i dont know if i have it but im always sad when it comes to my mum and makes me feel depressed. i cry all the time about it and she doesnt care.

if i try to explain things like this to her she never listens or understands how i feel. i know shes overprotective because she wants to look out for me and everything but doing this is only going to make things worse. if she let me make mistakes and see right from wrong then i will understand. its not like im going to get raped or mugged if i go out after dark, im only going to be with my friends!

i just wish she would understand how i feel and give me a chance. she doesnt trust me and it makes me feel so upset that i dont get opportunities to do anything.

im the only friend with an overprotective parent and i feel left out and worthless when my friends talk about all the fun they had when they went out at the weekend or after school without me there because im the girl with the overprotective parent that no one wish they had.

dont get me wrong, i love my mum, but she doesnt realise how much this brings me down. and im getting sick of it. i might aswell have no friends or boyfriends or social life until im about 20.

please help me to find a solution to this.

thank you.

Hello, I am 26 yrs old. This is first entry on this forum and i also don write much so pls pardon my writing skills. Just to give a brief about myself i am a graduate (Bachelor in Engg) and currently working as a senior software engg in a tech startup. so coming to the topic it all started with me getting in to college as then only that weird feeling creeped of how different i was from others. Though i have been getting careless/ irresponsible/clumsy tags throughout my childhood from parents/teachers and how i was not living upto my potential but i used discard all remarks and didnt give much importance. but during my college time i realized that i was so inferior to other people in the sense that i dint have any purpose, always being confused, unaware , missing out on important deadlines, and most importantly lacking in social skills which totally destroyed my self esteem as i have never been able to build relationships and i deliberately cut contact with very few friends that i was able to make as they though supportive sometimes used to treat me like i was a kid and cudnt take care of myself. same is the case in my job. I am always missing on important points, deadlines , lost in calls, disrupting my manager in between and always missing the big picture which is hugely affecting my performance. i have consulted a reputed psychiatrist but he doesnt think i have ADD as he feels that i am too intelligent for that. but i think that ADD and intelligence are two diff things and can coexist. so i am a bit confused as to what should i do and what are the medical options (if at all they are) i should consider .. Please help????

I unfriended my depressed friend. She was very demanding and refused to accept criticisms, but she tried to be a friend, and that's what makes me feel guilty. She has depression and anxiety, but I'm not the kind of person who's patient and understanding enough to deal with someone who gets angry at constructive criticisms and isn't willing to help herself. She asked me if I only befriended her out of pity, and I said "yeah a little" because I'm a very straightforward person and I'm not a very "empathetic" person per say, and yes that's a horrible thing to say, but I wanted out of the friendship that made me so anxious and unhappy all the time. Our friendship lasted for about 2 years, which was rather long considering that I only befriended her out of pity. It ended unhappily, with her telling me that I was selfish, but I know I couldn't put up a fake front anymore and I feel more liberated than sorry. Can someone tell me if what I did was right? Ending the friendship? I wanted to be a more understanding friend as well and attempted to make it last, but she really made me lose my head, any advice on that?