Hello everyone! Here is another post that I wonder if anyone can relate to?

Now I have recognized that I do have some good qualities as I began to understand and rebuild myself but I find that I have also exploited these qualities in the past, distant and and not so distant. At I times I have even justified my actions with these qualities for example talking myself out of returning a phone call from my mother, I'll tell myself that attending to my life changes are more important, I can't disrupt this noble and righteous work, then anger will justify the frustration of having to make these life changes then ill hold her responsible for my current emotional and mental struggles. Ill think she doesn't deserve to speak with me, she deserves to suffer like me, she should be punished. (I know very immature, Its as if bpd is one the more extreme symptoms of immaturity)

Or my sadness will justify my depression after acknowledging how sensitive I am. For an example I'll use avoiding my mothers call again, I'll think to myself that I deserve to be alone for all the stress and pain I have caused others, that there is so much growth that needs to transpire before I can effectively communicate with anyone. That I don't have anything worth saying, that I don't want to worry anyone with my issues and ineptitude. (Really I'm just removing a level of responsibility and accountability over my own actions that I believe I'm too exhausted for, too depressed to invest my energy in to)
This is where My Fear interjects sometimes, creating thoughts like I would just embarrass myself if I try to educate or inform my mother on my current condition because I don't really know myself like i once believed I did, I'll sound uninformed to her, like I'm not trying to change, or I'm not taking the growth that needs to transpire seriously enough. (The shame would be too much to bear apparently is what Im thinking here, once again I see myself hiding from a level of responsibility because of the fear of emotional shame, which is related to heightened level of emotional sensitivity leaving me fearful of many personal and social situations/confrontations)

Another thing I have become recently hip to is the projection of these insecurities on he world. What I believe people are thinking about me or fear that they may be thinking, really are just what i deep down think about myself. And it does not stop at people i project my demeanor on to all things, in my eyes the world has become as tumultuous as my soul, A place where joy does not exist only struggle and heartache. I believe by improving my perception of self my projection on to the world will also improve, my perception of the world will improve and i will see the beauty of life again.

Hello everyone!
Some bad things happened in my life lately, and i really don't know what to do anymore. And i can't tell anyone and i really need help... Please help me.
I'm a 16 year old girl. I have an older sister who is 20 years old, but lives in another country. I also had an older brother but he died and i'm the youngest kid of my family. My parents were always good to my siblings, but they always abuse me physcially and mentally. My parents divorced when i was 11 and i started to live with my father. But he was always beating me up, throwing me stuff and yelling at me, saying bad stuff to me and i was really depressed. And everyone was bullying me in school because of my look and it was making me really upset and make me hate myself.
When i turned 13, i started to live with my mom and she got married last year. But she changed a lot after she got married. She started abuse me, she was always talking about how ugly and stupid and lazy i am etc. Then she started to hitting me.
One day my mom and stepdad went out for drinking (they are drunk most of the time already so...) and they came home at like 3 am. And my stepdad tried to rape me. Then i called police, they took him to police station but he didn't go to jail...
After that day, he started to hit me too and my mom wasn't saying anything. I had a lot of scars and bruises on my face and body.
And then they kicked me out from the house because they said they can't take stand me anymore and my dad said he doesn't want me in his home so i'm staying at my friends home for now.
I feel really bad. I wanna run away from all of this and I wanna die. Nobody really cares about me, even my parents. I want to talk to my mom but I can't do it. I don't know what to do.
Btw i'm sorry for my bad English because my first language isn't English and i'm still learning. Thank you so much for reading..

I am a sixteen year old female who is sexually attracted to her own mother. I'm incredibly ashamed of it and I have no idea why I feel this way. I don't find her attractive. And I've actually had an absolutely horrible relationship with her ever since i was 13 and I cannot stand the woman.
Honestly, the relationship is so horrible. I have trouble hearing her voice without getting incredibly pissed off. But recently I've been getting so angry, that I actually become turned on. Now, the littlest things she does that used to make me so angry, now turn me on. For example, the way she handles everything so delicately, how soft her voice is...ect. ect.

I've been feeling this way for about 6 months and its been progressively getting worse. Now I find it invading my thoughts, and being on my mind frequently.
I have struggled with OCD in the past... Obsessive thoughts about things such as incest and bestiality .. but I've never had problems with obsessive thinking AND erotic feelings.

Please. help. I've attempted suicide because of this, and I haven't been able to bring myself to tell my therapist or psychiatrist.
I have looked on some forums saying that feeling sexually attracted to a family member is more common than people realize... which makes me feel a little bit better.

But I would like to know why on earth do I feel this way? And how can I make it go away?

This all started about a year and a half ago. I was spending the night at my best friends house for the first time and i got a little warm so i was changing into a tank top and while i had my shirt off his step dad came into the room. i saw him give me a strange glare and walk away. i hadn't thought anything of it for about seven months. Then after noticing that we weren't hanging at his house at all anymore i started wondering. so one day after school i went over to his house. his mom let me in and we talked until he got home. Throughout the this whole time his step dad has blocked my number on their home phone, tried convincing the homeowners community not to allow me to walk on his street, he's banned me from his property, and his son can no longer come over to my house at all anymore. Ive overheard his dad call me a few very unflattering names. and his mom has called my parents a complete waste of time. I'm wondering what options i have either to file a suit against him or how i can get him to understand what he has done over the years.

I am Bipolar 1 and a paranoid schizophrenic. I take Depakote, zyprexa, hydroxizene, citalopram and medforim. I have gained 50 pounds in two months. Because of this I have been taking around 15 laxatives a day. I haven't tried overdosing on medication since I was sixteen and I am thirty seven now. Here's the but... I don't think I want to die but it's all I can think about. The thrill of taking as much as I can and feeling as physically sick as possible but not going to go get my stomach pumped seems to be the plan. The medications I've been planning are all past scripts and current ones. I know this is simply crazy I have a good doctor but the phone weighs a thousand pounds this Saturday morning. Hospital is out. I just seem to want to suffer. If you were me and did call, what would you say and exactly what results would you want anyway?