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eI hav a characted in my head, and he won't leave me alone. by pennyfortheselfish on Tue Apr 14, 2015 10:26 pm
I am a 19 year old girl and I have this male character about my age in my head, he has a name and characteristics and personality and everything already thought out for him. He's not alone, he has a bunch of friends...also in my head. I switch mainly between him and me, his friends are all just there for some reason.

When I was in middle school I was bullied and alone so I started "creating friends" to entertain me during lunches...now, everytime I find myself feeling lonely, they're automatically there. Sometimes they're there when I'm hanging out with other (real) people but that doesn't happen too often.

I started out thinking I have DID but now I'm confused, I can tell him to leave and he will but then he comes back again. It's mostly him talking to me and giving me advice and helping me but sometimes I actually become him and I end up just sitting on my sofa, staring at the wall, or walking around my room living in this imaginary world in my head. Sometimes I end up making faces or using body language without realizing that I am. Sometimes when something happens to me (when I am him) that saddens "him", I physically cry. Or I can feel pain (I don't know how to explain that).

I often find myself isolating myself from friends and family just to be him in that world.

I'm just wondering if anyone else experiences this? What is this? I can't seem to put a word on it. Also, I have no idea why I'm suddenly identifying with a male...

I haven't seen any posts similar to this so if someone experiences this I would be really glad if they could share cause I am so confused all the time.



- Penny

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Shoplifting Mother!! HELP! by Greyartist on Sat Jul 14, 2018 5:13 am
Hi, this will be my first post on here and I really need some advice or help and I’m beyond desperate. My mother is a shoplifter, and I’m only a teenager and I’m the only one in the family that knows and I’m scared to go anywhere with her because I know she will steal items.

So basically since before I can remember, my Mom would steal things. Mainly it was groceries (she would get plastic reusable bags and bag everything up in an empty aisle and walk out looking like she payed) and I remember watching her do this when I was around 5 and not realizing it was stealing. I didn’t realize until i was around 7. She wouldn’t just steal groceries tho, she would steal perfume, lotion, makeup, shoes and other goods. This is where it gets a bit complicated, after doing this for years, she got caught around 2years ago and was put on house arrest, I am the only person who knows that she has ever shoplifted/ that she was on House Arrest. At the time, she told me she had a disorder and was going to seek treatment, but she never did. After she attempted a fake 2 minute apology for years of emotional distress, I sort of forgave her. I know it seems impossible but deep down inside, i wanted to believe that she just made a mistake and that everything was going to stop. And for a little bit, it did. I didn’t really see her take anything and I thought she was better, until she started again. One day we were at the store and I saw some stuff she stuffed into her purse and I couldn’t take it and ran out of the store into the car. She then came into the car after finishing shopping, and flipped out. She kept on pressing me to tell her what made we leave and sorta came off scary when she began listing off random reasons I ran out, (Did you see your crush? Did something happen on Instagram? Etc) then she got this overly confused (and sort of scary) exaggerated face and went, “is it because of ME?” I just kept on saying no to everything she said cause I didn’t know what else to say. Things have just gotten worst from there, one time I was in the store with her (cause she manipulated me to go with her I didn’t want to) and I was walking behind her and she started getting REALLY mad at me for no reason. She said “stop stalking me you weirdo” and “go find this random thing, NOW”. I just walked a few feet away and I kept my eye on her and she went into an empty aisle and shoved some stuff into her purse. When we were waking out the alarm thing went off and my heart sank but nothing happened, we just kept walking and no one realized. In the past months or so she has appeared with new makeup and luxury soap and lotion and all this crap, and she has come home with groceries in reusable bags, meaning she stole it. Recently she noticed I was getting extremely distant from her (and I think rightfully so),and we had “a talk”. after prying for ever, I told her it was because of her taking stuff and she took a FIRM position that she hasn’t taken anything since she was on House Arrest and that she only stole stuff in the first place because she was “desperate” and didn’t have money, however that’s a straight lie. We aren’t by any means super well off, but when she started stealing my Dad had a great job and we were going on vacations to Disneyland, Las Vegas and California. Not to mention my grandparents are relatively well off and would help us out if we really were that “desperate”. Anyways, she started pathetically crying SWEARING she hadn’t done anything, but I know for a fact she has. That night I went to a friends house and she sent me an angry text saying I was going to start showing her respect “and stop treating her like a thief” BUT SHE IS ONE. Now, we are in an awkward position, and it’s extremely complicated because she’s my mom and I want to love her and sometimes we get along sort of (it sounds crazy I know) but I’m starting to come to a breaking point. Thank you so much if you’ve read all of this.
I’m currently crying while typing this, it probably ...

[ Continued ]

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Feeling Suicidal the Closer Trial is Coming by shortsnorts on Sat May 10, 2014 6:22 pm
I was doing pretty well for a while. My coping skill was eating(more of a mechanism) and it was helping me a lot. Now, I can't even stomach anything. The closer the trial is getting, the more my depression is hitting me. It feels like I can't distract anymore. I can't even look at anything with a razor any more. I feel so sick. Some one please help me.

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Urge to bite.... by hiding_the_broken on Mon Nov 24, 2014 4:28 am
I'm a 16 year old girl. I never bit anyone as a kid or anything like that. I have been diagnosed with OCD, Severe Clinical Depression, and a Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I am on medication for those things. But I have been having the urge to bite things lately. It doesn't matter what mood I'm in. I just randomly have the urge to bite things. I mostly bite myself; I could never bite another person. Yes, I have been self-harming for a little over 4 years, so maybe it's just another form of self-harm, but it's getting pretty bad. The bite marks last about a half hour. I've only broken through skin once. What is going on with me..why am I biting all of a sudden...

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self-harm/cutting by thisguy41006 on Fri Mar 21, 2014 1:10 am
I am 27 and have lived with cutting for most of my life lately I have put quite a lot of thought into when in started or why I started. I think back and remembered cutting at 11 years old why I did it not a clue could have got in trouble or something but it was a *mod edit* razer yet its been months scents I have shopped for the in boulck there still around. its been 16 years I have been cutting....

Today day and time 20th:
Its been hard lately I know what I do is far from OK good or safe
A key that keeps me going to deep or bleed for to long is the thought of tears on my sisters face.
I'm do to have a son in two months.
Her head games to help this time I'm going through.
Its been three days every night shower on blade out cut *mod edit* times upper arm tell my heart slows to a mild beat a twitch here a twitch there I fill like I'm taking to far waking up or fading out in a tub of my sin filled blood

Not really sure why I'm writing all I know is I'm lost only wish I can cry it out ....

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