My friend scares me. by Baloo197 on Fri Jul 14, 2017 7:40 am
My friend absolutely terrifies me. He has never done anything violent or harmful to me and is the most gentle and peaceful person I know (Though he is quite distant). He is also the most dangerous person I know. He usually has a calming air about him. It's calming to the point where he picked a bee off a flower and held it in his open palm for who knows how long before he sent it back on the flower without it stinging him. However, his air about him changes to absolute dread when he gets aggressive. This dread caused a dog to whimper and hide just by being near him. A moment to feel this dread is to ask him about his past.
My friend has a rather dark past. He had drug addict, alcoholic, and sick parents for the first three years of his life who were constantly fighting. He also was being watched by his legally crazy grandparents who were also drug addict alcoholics. He saw his mother brutally die in front of him from a car accident he was in. His father legally died then came back into a coma. He was physically, emotionally, and psychologically abused. He was raped. He was constantly being bullied at school and at home by his cousins. He hasn't seen his sister for ten years. He almost died countless times. He was also taken away from his father by the CPS. I was his first friend ever, and that was in the 5th grade (He was held back one year). I am still one of his only friends. The bullying never really stopped, it's just that everyone was to scared to.
As I said before, he is the best person I have ever met. However, he becomes a monster when aggressive. During these moments, he is not angry in any way. He is actually very happy when he is aggressive. I have seen him do some monster like things when he is like that. Ranging from will his way through a sleep hold to overpowering four football players. A note to take is how he is a 5' 5" 135 lbs slender-athletic build guy who isn't very bulky despite his martial art training, but he is stronger than he looks and is very resilient. When he becomes aggressive, his entire being changes. His eyes become empty and have a death stare, his body language becomes feral and relaxed, He gets a joker like smile and tries to keep himself from giggling and almost growls, the air around him becomes full of dread, and his already efficient and dangerous fighting style becomes even more efficient and dangerous. When he is in a fight, killing an insect, or gutting a hunted animal he laughs harder and smiles harder. He clearly enjoys being hit or hurting things when he is in that state. He also doesn't feel any physical pain in that state. After he snaps back to normal, he bursts into a crying mess, and will often vanish when we all check to see if the guy he was fighting is okay.
When he is normal, he has noble body language, a gentle look on his face, and love in his eyes. He will try to never harm anything and will resolve anything peacefully. He also genuinely cares about his few friends and gives amazing advise and can console anyone.
My friend has gone to therapy, but the fact he couldn't remember what he did in the aggressive moment, the therapy didn't help him know what was wrong with him. He also went to anger management, but he apparently has an outstanding control over his anger. We both wonder what is wrong with him, and I am absolutely terrified of him even when he isn't in his aggressive state.
Old self harm scars, military, psychology-- question. by AriMcGuire on Thu May 15, 2014 2:51 am
Hi!
Well I'm 24 years old, my scars are a decade old, literally. When I was younger, I grew up in a war called "home" and I suppressed my emotions, I always had a smile on, was always making others laugh, pretending pain was not reality. It was reality alright, I broke at the tender age of 14, but I never wanted to die. I had harmed myself in order to understand the feelings others would get from cutting, but I could never seem to find the pleasure through it, it hurt! I did this a few times until I said "enough is enough there must be another way!"-- And truthfully the only way was simply getting my life together, it all starts from within. I learned to deal with pain on my own, no help. I've been through a lot and have made plenty of mistakes, but I believe and KNOW my past does NOT define the strong woman I am today.
I've always wanted to serve my country, I've been a protector since a child, the fuel to the fire actually started at home protecting my mother and sister from my father, then I proceeded behind the doors of my homes, such as protecting ones from bullies. I want to enlist with the Air Force in a year, do a bit more college before hand, and I want to major in psychology. I'd love to help anyone in general, from my personal experiences I have helped many, and I will not stop being there for others, guiding them, showing them there is a way. I feel there's too many people that go into professions that give service onto others simply for the money, instead of doing it because it comes from the heart, because they genuinely care, and want to help.
I've seen positive and negative thoughts over my past and how it can disqualify me, I will still try my best and give it my all, but what is your thoughts on this? And even if I do get disqualified, I'm gonna continue my studies towards becoming a psychologist. I can still become one, right? It would be a shame to know all years I'd put into something I love I'd be denied from because of my past mistakes.
Thank you!
projecting? by tiredwife on Thu Jan 31, 2019 7:08 pm
I have always heard that when being accused of something (that you aren't and haven't done,) it's more than likely because your accuser is guilty of such. I'm certain this doesn't apply to every situation, but realistically, how often does this actually happen to you?
Based upon my husband's past experiences with a wife that cheated, drank, and drugged herself into a stupor, I understand his skepticism. I however, do not do anything at all similar, don't look similar, don't act or speak similarly. We are not the same. I am his second wife.
For the past year, it has turned into him yelling, screaming "shut your f***ing mouth" "listen to me when i speak to you" "you will respect me," and things of that nature. He tells me not to talk over him, not interrupt him, and then when I ask for a moment of his time, he cuts me off and uses his hands as a "stop" gesture to end what I have to say. In all honesty, I do not feel as though my husband respects me, or cares at all about the things I say. I am a very brutally honest and blunt, and some would say pessimistic person. I believe I just know better how to prepare for situations, and expect others to disappoint me, so I work things our in such a way that I do not get disappointed. I look at life with a very real sense of what can and cannot be accomplished in a given amount of time. I am very time-oriented. My husband tells me that I assume to much. An example: I tell him one thing in the A.M., he forgets by lunch 5 days in a row, and tells me that he forgot every evening. I tell him the same message on the 6th day, he gets bent out of shape because "I assumed he would forget and now I am nagging." I personally do not find that nagging or assuming. It is using deductive reasoning or taking what was learned from first-hand experiences, and applying it to the situation. This is something that happens every week.
He accuses me of being childish, immature, and needing to grow the f*** up. I do not raise my voice at him. I am the mother of his child. I keep the house running. I am overseer of all of the financials. I went to college. I make more money than him. I have two college degrees. I am a female in a predominately male professional trade, decisive, direct, and dedicated. I have more real-world experience than he does. I am literal. To the point. Callous, if you will. I do not mince words. I say exactly what the situation calls for, and I use the correct vernacular for emotions and feelings. I had to grow up fast, and by whatever means necessary, while he grew up in the same house all his life, was the youngest of three children with a stay at home mother, and overly religious upbringing, had no responsibilities, and never been told no. I do not play games. He says I do. He is the one that plays games, blatantly ignoring repeated phone calls and going out of his way to make me feel inadequate.
Really, that's just two examples..but just this morning we had the biggest blow-up of our relationship because I asked for clarification on what he meant by a statement, and it turned into very seriously hurtful words and screaming.
Any advice, folks?
Strange fetishes by tormented48man on Sun Jan 05, 2014 6:07 am
What am i if I like watching a black man have not just my gf, but want to watch black men with anypetite white female, but lately my fantasies have been about watching big black men with young white girls that are 7-10. This is a uncommon fetish. Some one tell me what this would be called. If I had a label I could get help of understanding why I have this fantasy and try to control it. Don't like it because I have Shane a guilty feelings after I masterbate.
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