I m worried that I might be a sociopath/psychopath. The main reason why I think this is because I was very mean to animals when I was kid. I don t know why I was, but I have been reading up on signs of sociopathy/psyhcopathy in children and this is one of the biggest signs. I never got in serious trouble as a kid like in school or anything. I never really had friends, I always stick to myself and would just swing by myself at recess. I started wanting to make friends in junior high though and wanting to fit in more. I just need help because I don t want to be a sociopath/psychopath. The idea of me being one makes me want to cry. I want to be normal person. However, I start to doubt myself and my emotions. Like, "do I really feel this emotion or am I just making myself feel this to try to make myself think I m not a sociopath?" I literally doubt every emotion I feel and every mistake I ve ever made, I connect it to me being a sociopath. Like I said, the main reason I think I am one is because I was cruel to animals as a child and this is a sign. I know I need to talk to a healthcare professional, but don t know if I can handle the truth. I m worried I ll get diagnosed a sociopath, I don t know if I can live with that. I just don t why I was the way I was as a child, that s what scares me. Any thoughts are appreciated.

Hi there!
20 year old girl looking for some guidance.
I have a history of mental health issues but have never been diagnosed with anything. My dad has Tourettes with ocd and my sister has anxiety disorder. We all take prozac for our anxieties though im not diagnosed. I have tendencies toward ocd, Aspergers, anxiety, and eating disorders but do not fit a particular box. Im going to list my obscure quirks based on which issue I think they fit and hopefully someone can help me if they relate or understand!

OCD Tendencies:
I have an intense fear of germs, but only human germs. Im fine with the ocean, dirt, or sand etc as long as I can wash my hands after but I can't touch doorknobs, money, etc without washing my hands IMMEDIATELY. The strange thing is I don't obsess over what these germs will do to me, like I don't think ill get sick or die or anything, I can just "feel" the germ on my hand or body and it drives me crazy until I wash it off. If I touch something really dirty, I have to wash my hands 3 times for the dirty feeling to go away.

When i was about 5 my ocd tendencies started to come out and it manifested in me being afraid of germs and dead things. Dead things WERE dirty to me. I stopped eating meat. I put my favorite toys on a high shelf and refused to play with them because I didnt want to get them dirty. I washed my hands until they’d bleed and i had to wear socks on them. Since spiders killed things, they became the dirtiest thing in the world to me. If a spider touched something, I couldnt touch that thing unless it was washed. My parents got me a “cleaning spray” (which i now suspect was just water) to spray things so i could touch them again. When I was six, a butterfly died in our hallway and got covered in ants. I had to leap over that spot in the hallway because I couldn’t touch it, and I did that until we moved out of that house 2 years later. I had meltdown after meltdown because I found out the seats in my car were made of leather.

I still can’t touch anything if a spider has walked on it. I live in the forest, so they are always in my home. I wear shoes and socks in the house because I can’t touch the floor. If something falls on the ground I either throw it away or have to pick it up with gloves and wash it. I know this is irrational and there is no fear driving it, but if I touch any place a spider has been or if a spider touches me i have to scrub and scrub my body… this is very exhausting.

Because of this I get overwhelmed by small tasks. My dad used to always get mad at me because I would leave the fridge door open when Id take something out of it, until I finally explained that I have to use my shirt to open the door and its very difficult because sometimes I accidentally touch the door and have to wash my hands again...etc. If i drop something on the floor in my house now I usually leave it there because otherwise I’d have to get gloves, pick it up, wash it, then wash my hands.. Etc.

Un-identified Tendencies:
I hate eye contact. It feels so unnatural to me, I usually avoid it unless I know its important (job interview, date, etc) and then I have to purposefully hold my gaze and focus on looking attentive. I often stop paying attention to what people are saying because I’m focusing so hard on looking like I’m paying attention (lol). I hate sitting across from people because eye contact, I always make my boyfriend sit next to me at restaurants.

I have trouble with personal space/boundaries. In lines I always get too close to people without realizing, my boyfriend has to pull me away/remind me to give people space.

If I get excited about something, I talk very very loudly without noticing. I always have to be reminded to stop yelling..

I am super clumsy and awkward. I am ALWAYS bumping into things/dropping things.. Especially in the morning.

My sister and boyfriend recently told me that people often think I am a bitch when they first meet me because of my humor. I have a super blunt/...

[ Continued ]

Okay so I caught my fiance using my email to find girls on Craigslist o guess to have sex with. I was just going through my email and happen to see it i know it wasnt me because that was the night he was using my phone while i stayed at my mom's house amd some of the things he was messaging to these girls was really upsetting I confronted him about it at first he insisted he didnt remember ever doing it Then he said he might have had a moment of weakness. Then he kept insisting on how We changed in a good way because while he did that he said he realized he loves me amd I'm the only girl in his life and that he only wants me. And. What really bother me is that this happened not even a week after he proposed and altogether We been together almost three years and We have a baby on the way in less than two months. Before all this I would find porn on his phone Where he would watch it or download videos or pictures and it really makes me feel like crap. I mean I know I'm nothing really to look at I put on thirty pounds while being pregnant and sometimes it's like he don't want to touch me like he is completely discusted by me and it's always like he wants some super skinny girl that he can wrap his arMs around and have sex with all night I mean We don't even have sex like We used to it seems like he is watching the TVs more than he is even looking at me I can't really lose weight right now being pregnant and all. I don't have the pretty face or the perky boobs that he wants I just wish I could magically change how I look completely. I Love him so much I would spend all the money in the world to be the completely sexy girl he wants. D':

Is it Possible? YES

So what is it that is possible? Right to the point. What I am saying is possible is that the deep amount of sadness and depression you are presently in can be changed. Not in 10 weeks but in 10 minutes. Sure , right, this person is way out of their mind and I am not going to keep reading is what your saying. STOP. Keep reading, I did not say eliminated in 10 minutes but changed. After the ten 10 minutes you are on a road to wellness and in that same day you will start to experience major changes throughout your body and mind. Yeah right. I would not write this if I have not experienced it myself for one full week.( referring to number 2, breathing and exercise )Do I know the pain of depression? To the deepest levels imaginable. Not only in the mind but the body. Imagine taking a 10 inch giant cutting knife to your chest everyday for a full month and for every second of the day you are seeing yourself killing yourself. Maybe you don't have to imagine but at least now know your reading thoughts of someone who knows your pain. Spending years in agony and torture with only one thing driving me. A higher cause or purpose higher then myself( which can be a loved one, animals included, helping people , etc) So all that I can do now is share what I have learned. Since we live in an age of instant information I will write down ten of the most important factors for change to take place.

1)Desire to take action to make the change and giving up any habit of fear and doubt. Meaning just give something a try and see what happens. You hear this a lot but it is absolutely true. Once you commit, something will happen that breaks a pattern or a state your in that you don't want to be in.
2) Using your body and breath to instantly make an impact on your present state( exercise, walk run, jumping jacks, weight lifting, push ups,etc) this can help with anxiety as well. What I am relearning is what a deeper impact the use of my body and breath then me trying to think myself out of something. Even completely changing my posture can cause something positive to happen. Cant walk or run? Try standing or sitting and lift your arms and move them like your rowing a boat.( both arms at the same time) Breath in through the mouth while pulling and breath out while your releasing. Try this at first for 7 to 10 times and see what happens. You will get energy. Throughout the body and mind. Do it again if you can or until you get to that state. If it doesn't happen after two attempts , stop,it will effect you within an hour. Breathing is key . Your a smoker? Try it anyway. It will be a great way to start valuing your breath. Need to relax? Breath in through the nostrils, hold a few seconds then exhale deeply. This I would not overdue , maybe two times, because you need to get used to it and it is very powerful. Take it from someone who doubted this for a long time but then tried it. It works. It gives you the charge your going to need to fight the bad condition your in. The rowing , breathing exercise can be done as much as you want. The nostril breathing takes some building up to. Stretching for a minute or two is excellent as well. Want to wake up and feel better instantly? Try some cold water and rub it over your face a few times, even try rubbing it over your upper body for a minute. Try warm water for relaxing. About exercise , if you have not done it for a long while, just do it for a very short time. Eventually you will be able to work up to more intensity. Remember BREATHE.
3) When your thinking is bad get into someone elses thoughts that are much better and positive and uplifting( book, music, you tube etc)
4) Its often said that fear is the main reason that holds people back from making a change or taking action. As true as it is, its doubt that holds us back just as much if not more. Please stop doubting and start trying.
5) Think of three options( you might think of more) that you have to break the...

[ Continued ]

I'm a teen girl and a bit confused. I've looked up on this and read stories similar to mine but not exactly the same. As long as I have remembered I would get crushed on boys and even had a boyfriend not long ago. I remember having friends that were girls and loved being around them, especially if they had a great personality but that's all..when I got with my boyfriend, it was great at first and I knew I liked him because I always got butterflies around him and he always made me smile without even saying anything. At the same time I was gaining a best friend and we we're getting really close really fast. She became like a sister to me and I loved her, like a sister nothing else. Later on I began to loose interest in my boyfriend and was getting stressed out because I didn't want to hurt him and break up with him so I stood with him for almost a year but towards the end we didn't really talk and I was stressing out. My friend was there through it all, when I was stressing out because me and my bf weren't talking later that day she was the one making me laugh, smile, and feel happy again. Because of it I got the feeling of wanting to protect her as much as possible and promising her I'd always be there for her like she is for me. She knew I wa having boyfriend problems because I didn't like him anymore yet we we're still together, she encouraged me to break up with him saying I'd be better off without him. At school we acted like really close friends but outside of school either at volleyball practice at home she acted a bit different. She acted more silly when it was just us and always laughed at anything I did, be it I mess up or just being clumsy. soon I began getting tongue-tied talking to her because she kept eye contact the whole conversation, something I couldn't do. So I would look away for a second while we were talking and when I'd look back she still would be watching me, trying to hide a smile which started giving me butterflies. these little feelings have been getting stronger & I don't know what's happening. We promised each other we'd be there for each other always, she's so close to me and my family and me with hers. At school I don't have any classes with her this year and try to be with her as much as possible, I just really love her company, even if it's less than 5 minutes. If I see her this force makes me call her, it literally feels like a physical force, and when I call her I see her turn and when she sees me she always smiles. Seeing her smile always makes me happy and when I'm not with her I can't wait to see her. I'm starting to miss her very easily and sort of get jealous when she's with her other friends, one in particular. When she's with that one particular friend and Im there it's like I don't exist yet later when she's gone Im the one she stays close by to, even if there's other people we talk to with us. I've told her "I love you" and she actually said "I love you too" but it was at night when we were going to sleep, I wasn't sure if she actually meant it or she was half-asleep when she said it. Another thing is that when we sleep together in the middle of the night she always ends up cuddled next to me, her arm around me like she's hugging me, honestly It's something I look forward to whenever she spends the night, even if she is asleep when she does it. If I don't she her for a while I swear I get depressed. These feelings have just been getting stronger since I broke up with my bf. I still get crushes on guys yet she always manages to get stuck on my mind, I don't know whats going on....I feel like im in love with someone I shouldn't be in love with. Help?