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Is it Possible? YES by neg2pos on Tue Oct 18, 2016 7:01 am
Is it Possible? YES

So what is it that is possible? Right to the point. What I am saying is possible is that the deep amount of sadness and depression you are presently in can be changed. Not in 10 weeks but in 10 minutes. Sure , right, this person is way out of their mind and I am not going to keep reading is what your saying. STOP. Keep reading, I did not say eliminated in 10 minutes but changed. After the ten 10 minutes you are on a road to wellness and in that same day you will start to experience major changes throughout your body and mind. Yeah right. I would not write this if I have not experienced it myself for one full week.( referring to number 2, breathing and exercise )Do I know the pain of depression? To the deepest levels imaginable. Not only in the mind but the body. Imagine taking a 10 inch giant cutting knife to your chest everyday for a full month and for every second of the day you are seeing yourself killing yourself. Maybe you don't have to imagine but at least now know your reading thoughts of someone who knows your pain. Spending years in agony and torture with only one thing driving me. A higher cause or purpose higher then myself( which can be a loved one, animals included, helping people , etc) So all that I can do now is share what I have learned. Since we live in an age of instant information I will write down ten of the most important factors for change to take place.

1)Desire to take action to make the change and giving up any habit of fear and doubt. Meaning just give something a try and see what happens. You hear this a lot but it is absolutely true. Once you commit, something will happen that breaks a pattern or a state your in that you don't want to be in.
2) Using your body and breath to instantly make an impact on your present state( exercise, walk run, jumping jacks, weight lifting, push ups,etc) this can help with anxiety as well. What I am relearning is what a deeper impact the use of my body and breath then me trying to think myself out of something. Even completely changing my posture can cause something positive to happen. Cant walk or run? Try standing or sitting and lift your arms and move them like your rowing a boat.( both arms at the same time) Breath in through the mouth while pulling and breath out while your releasing. Try this at first for 7 to 10 times and see what happens. You will get energy. Throughout the body and mind. Do it again if you can or until you get to that state. If it doesn't happen after two attempts , stop,it will effect you within an hour. Breathing is key . Your a smoker? Try it anyway. It will be a great way to start valuing your breath. Need to relax? Breath in through the nostrils, hold a few seconds then exhale deeply. This I would not overdue , maybe two times, because you need to get used to it and it is very powerful. Take it from someone who doubted this for a long time but then tried it. It works. It gives you the charge your going to need to fight the bad condition your in. The rowing , breathing exercise can be done as much as you want. The nostril breathing takes some building up to. Stretching for a minute or two is excellent as well. Want to wake up and feel better instantly? Try some cold water and rub it over your face a few times, even try rubbing it over your upper body for a minute. Try warm water for relaxing. About exercise , if you have not done it for a long while, just do it for a very short time. Eventually you will be able to work up to more intensity. Remember BREATHE.
3) When your thinking is bad get into someone elses thoughts that are much better and positive and uplifting( book, music, you tube etc)
4) Its often said that fear is the main reason that holds people back from making a change or taking action. As true as it is, its doubt that holds us back just as much if not more. Please stop doubting and start trying.
5) Think of three options( you might think of more) that you have to break the...

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Is this Hocd anymore? by Hi12123 on Sat Apr 27, 2019 7:06 am
Sorry this is very long but please read this because i need help...
Hi, I am a 16 year old girl and have been struggling with hocd for about 2 years. It all started in 7th grade when I had an intense crush on a boy. Whenever I was around him I had butterflies and I actually wanted to marry him. He liked me too but he soon developed a crush on another girl and I wasn't even jealous because I didn't like him as much anymore. One night I was at a sleepover with my friend and I was laying on the couch when a thought popped into my head, "you don't like **** anymore, are you gay?" After that one thought, it has changed my life. ( I am not homophobic but I was always kinda uncomfortable around gay people at that age. But now I am not at homophobic or uncomfortable around gay people anymore)

A couple weeks later, I was seeking reassurance on being lesbian and stumbled across the term hold. I had all of the symptoms and felt better. But, the worrying didn't stop. In 7th grade I was only scared about "becoming" gay, I knew i wasn't but I was just scared i was "changing" into being gay. I went to my school guidance counselor and she told me that it was ok if I was gay and should learn to accept it, this heightened my worrying because I couldn't handle the fact of being gay. There were times where I was not worrying and then times where I was. After a while of being worried I didn't worry about it at all. I had some thoughts here and there but ignored them. It was the start of 8th grade (the grade I am in now) and I didn't worry about it. Then it was triggered again, (I forgot how). Soon my mind made me think I had crushes on every single one of my friends (who were girls). My mind said "If you aren't attracted to him, you're gay." It also started to change my past and say "you like her" even when I felt nothing for her when I was with her. Recently, I had a small panic attack at a restaurant where i couldn't eat any single thing (not even a small piece of rice) because I was worrying so much. My mind kept screaming "your bi!..." That night at the restaurant I planned to come out to my mom (my mom knows about my hocd) but the problem was that I didn't like any girls. I would also look at my friends (who were girls) and become jealous of them because they do not have to go what I go through. I would say in my head, "they are so lucky that they are straight. They are going to have the best relationship"

I then began to dig into my past (i still am) and there are some things that I have done as a child that i can use as proof that I am gay. Keep in mind that I have never been attracted to anyone of the same sex besides false attractions (which is not even real attraction). My mind would also say "All the girls think your older brother is cute, but you don't. This means your gay." And now that I am writing that, what on Earth was I thinking, am i stupid? Lol. I would also have false attractions for people on TV shows and have dreams and wake up feeling aroused and feeling that I liked it. I know that arousal doesn't mean your gay so it doesn't worry me at all.

I know that I like boys but I am just scared that I like girls to. I always wanted to have a boyfriend but now I do not as much. My mind is now saying "being with a girl isn't so bad." "it will be fun to be in a relationship with a girl" I have never dreamed about girls the way I have dreamed about boys and the only relationship I want with girls is friendship. But as i am writing this my mind is saying, "you wouldn't mind it, it would be fun!" Whenever I go out, it is just natural for me to want to impress a guy. I have never wanted to dress to impress a girl. I cant picture my future with a girl because its just not me. I also don't think it is necessary to come out because deep down I know i'm not.
I used to have bad intrusive thoughts, but now those thoughts aren't even...

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My first entry, thank you whoever reads this by Joshykinsx on Wed Jan 28, 2015 7:43 am
Hello dear reader, I've recently discovered my disorders and wrote something a while ago in a blog. Sorry if it's too long but I can't really divide it into part, you may find it very boring but I want to thank you to whoever read the whole thing or even just looked at!

Introduction, burning iceberg/frozen flame
I’m not very good at writing; in fact I suck pretty much at everything.

I think of myself as a walking bag of issues. I’m a highly sensitive person, I have borderline personality disorder, social anxiety, I have little bit of OCD and ADD and I often think that I’m bipolar.

I understand that everybody goes through some kind of stress in their lives and that other people might have bigger problems than me…honestly I don’t give a ###$, ###$ those people! ###$ people who judge ( I do that sometimes too but then I get punished at night by my over thinking habit), ###$ people who pretend to be nice, ###$ overconfident people, ###$ people who are shy, ###$ people that like politics, ###$ people that are into religion now that I think of it, ###$ everybody! Myself included!!

I’m sorry I didn’t meant to offend anyone (maybe I did), so I have extreme mood swings(as you’ve already noticed), sometimes I wanna meet people but most of the times I hate people. It’s probably because of my social anxiety, every time I’m in public I feel like everybody’s staring at me, I always thought it was some teenage stuff and that it would eventually subside but it never truly did, in fact sometimes I feel like it’s gotten worse. Each pair of eyes feels like a burn and I start sweating and panicking and I keep telling myself “oh god why are people staring at me? Is it because I’m overweight? (at a time I was but even after I lost weight I felt the same way) is my hair messed up?” Sometimes I do feel ok when I’m in public, most of the time it’s when I’m drunk or in an extremely good mood, unfortunately both don’t last very long and don’t happen very often and sometimes are mutually exclusive.

I feel like I’m the ugliest person in the world, the most weird too but at the same time I realize that I’m just an ordinary guy, nothing special at all. Other times I label myself very special because I’m pathetic and I want that pity but there’s just no one in my world that would ######6 understand me so I only have myself, which is just not enough but sometimes can be overwhelming. My biggest fear and my biggest enemy are both- myself. I tend to over think stuff, stuff that other healthy normal people don’t even care about, don’t notice. I like to analyze my day right before going to sleep, every ######6 time. Every time before going to sleep my brain’s like “Oh you wanna rest? ###$ that! Let’s go through all the ###$ up $#%^ that happened today. The mean stuff people said to you or you said to them. The stupid awkward situations you put yourself or others to, about how it’s gonna haunt you for a couple of years until you do something more ###$ up, which is gonna happen pretty soon by the way.

I always feel lonely and sometimes I just wish I had a girlfriend, actually every guy wants that…but then I remember what it’s like for me to be in a relationship with someone. It’s ######6 hell, both for me and for the unluckiest girl in the world who agreed to be in a relationship with me. Whenever I’m in a relationship (which is SUPER rare now) I tend to idealize (or even idolize) my partner and I cling very tightly to that person. Thinking she can understand me, support me and just always be there (which is literally ALWAYS) and of course eventually I get disappointed, always. Because I’m a selfish bastard, the very kind of people that I hate. It is part of the curse of having the borderline personality disorder, no one will ever be good enough for you and you’re never gonna be good enough for anyone as well. When people I’m really attached to stop messaging me or talking to me for whatever reasons (busy, not in the mood) I instantly take it the wrong wa...

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Scars i want to keep *tw* by sschoemaker on Fri Jul 25, 2014 8:13 am
My mom wants me to get rid of my scars...But i find i really don't want too. I don't not want to wake up and not see them there on my left shoulder, on my left wrist and my right hip bone. Sick? Very, i know. My own mom looked at me like i was crazy when i told her, which i probably am. No healthy person cuts themselves, that's obvious. Or at least in my case, used too.

I stopped cutting maybe a couple of months before high school graduation but it wasn't due to my mother finding me out. Instead my boyfriend did and made me promise to never do it again, cutting my mother to the punch line. My mom found out a month after him, i believe. She didn't believe me when i told her i stopped, so i gave her the scissors i used to hurt myself. That was my second step to stopping i guess. My third had to be when she got me medicine to take away the scars...but now on the fourth step, actually putting the stuff on, i'm stuck.

I've put it on once or twice but not religiously. I hate the idea of them not being there. They give me comfort and make me feel better. Am i wrong in wanting them there?

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Urge to bite.... by hiding_the_broken on Mon Nov 24, 2014 4:28 am
I'm a 16 year old girl. I never bit anyone as a kid or anything like that. I have been diagnosed with OCD, Severe Clinical Depression, and a Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I am on medication for those things. But I have been having the urge to bite things lately. It doesn't matter what mood I'm in. I just randomly have the urge to bite things. I mostly bite myself; I could never bite another person. Yes, I have been self-harming for a little over 4 years, so maybe it's just another form of self-harm, but it's getting pretty bad. The bite marks last about a half hour. I've only broken through skin once. What is going on with me..why am I biting all of a sudden...

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