I am a victim of sexual abuse. Most of my previous posts were usually pretty short and very vague about my situation. They were mainly used for ranting, so I didn't expect anyone to read them. Then, I began to realize from being on this website, that this would be a safe enviornment to talk about things. So, here it goes; I am a teen girl, who began getting sexually abused by my step brother in the seventh grade. It went on for two years, until I finally told my mom, which she refused to do any thing, because she didn't want to leave her boyfriend. I am now living with my Dad, and my mom and her boyfriend are now married. The last couple years have been a huge roller coaster of events, from my maternal grandmother dying, my Dad getting custody over me, my little sister getting beaten by my mom, and me finding the two things that I have eternally fallen in love with; Zachary and roller derby. I want my junior year to be the mark of my synapse. I know I still have a long way to go, and I will still have troubles ahead, but this time, I will fight.

Recently I was at a party where many people were intoxicated, myself included. There was a lot of dancing and girls grinding on guys and groping and whatever else happens on a dance floor probably happened here. While at this party I talked to a lot of people and remember every detail I just didn't have the proper control of myself as I was heavily intoxicated. Nearing the end of the night I was approached by a boy who somehow knew me although I wasn't sure who he was. I walked away but he was insistent to talk. He pulled me closer to him and kissed me. We made out and everything was fine. Now, at this party people were staying in tents or their cars on the property and I had a tent with my friend. This guy that I was with asked me if I had a tent and I said yes, he took that as an invite and said "that beats sleeping on the floor". I wasn't 100% comfortable with him coming back with me but, I am the type that has a hard time saying no when someone says they'll be sleeping outside or whatever else. So he followed me back to my tent and I warned my friend before he came in. I was quite tired as it was very late and I was ready to go to bed but this guy was grabbing me and kissing my neck and wouldn't stop. I would push his hands away and he would tell me to "stop" or "just let it happen". Although, I continued to ask him to stop he continued until i sat up and said he needed to stop. At that point he got angry and told me that I was being a tease and i needed to "get him off" before he could go to bed. I said I just wanted to sleep and was feeling quite emotional, he was about to leave when i started to cry, as I was just yelled at when I didn't want to have sex with him. He told me it was fine and we would just cuddle and sleep. When we were back under my blanket he started at it again and i continued to tell him to stop as i still wasn't wanting to have sex with him and he started getting angry again. He was kissing me and had his hand wrapped around my neck. I was afraid of his anger as i didn't know him nor what he was capable of and i didn't want him to wake people so i complied and told him that we could have sex. About half way through i started crying and he told me if i was loud he would choke me harder so i sat there and let him do what he wanted.

I complied and told him it was okay for him to do what he did although the multiple times i said no and i felt pressured into this situation. It continues to haunt my dreams and I don't feel like myself anymore. But, was it rape...

Hello

My problem is not much complicated it's just I can't find a way to interact with society
I find their way illogical it's how they talk how they want to be diplomatic and want to be leader I dont know what to do when someone is crying in front of me
I dont know why they question on a question.
Its totally illogical
Just help me
M a 19 yr old guy
I dont know it's normal or not.!

Thank you for your time
I am currently a male upperclassmen in high school. My grades are... For lack of a more accurate word bad, I have about a 2.0 cumulative. I used to want to be a 2d animator you know like cartoons. When I think about it that goal it is as far as can be from my reach. About a year and 4 months ago I saw this girl who is now the only thing I think about, I talk to her In very small conversations daily, she is the only reason I even want to go to school when I'm in class I zone out and just think about her I would do anything, everything, and more to make her smile. I go home from school too depressed that I'm not more to her than just someone to talk to for ten-twenty minutes and forget my homework and just think about her, cry for a few hours. Then my mother gets home and it's time for me to fake a smile and make sure she never worries about me. I usually talk to friends on skype which surprisingly takes my mind off of her a little bit, then nighttime comes and I'm back in bed crying,shaking, tired but too scared of how bad my depression may get if I don't keep working for her I've even caught myself whispering her name and talking about how much I love her when I'm in this state. So I'm trapped in this cycle, I ignore school and think of her then I remember she's the one and only thing I would ever work for and my grades just keep dropping. The one funny thing, nobody knows I have this problem, I seem so mentally stable, and I have plenty of friends, I'm only lonely because i avoid talking to people sometimes so I can just lay in bed and think about her. I had brought this problem to a different site and I was banned within a day (I must've swore or something) and I felt like nobody could help me, i have 3 ways I think of my life going, either I end up with this girl that I would be as loyal as a dog too, I somehow manage to pursue my dream of being an animator, or I don't end up with her and my depression takes over, and It scares me so much. Please just give me feedback, I need this help I feel empty.

I'm not sure what I should do, I had a dream and my therapist was in my dream, by the way the dream was NOT sexual. I am wondering if I should tell him about my dream or not????