I am so thankful I found this site, I've been needing to get this out. This is a secret that both me and my father will take to our graves.
I never knew my real father until I was about 12 years old. I met him for the first time and he was a fairly attractive man. We grew a decent friendship and learned that I was just like him in many ways. As I got older I noticed he would get flirty with me, and instead of a normal father-like hug.. I would get a hug and a long kiss on the neck. I never minded though.

He was a truck driver, he went on 2 week trips at a time, then a week off. I was 18 years old when he invited me to go with him for a trip, and I agreed.. I was excited because I never got to travel much. His semi had bunk beds, but I would always lay in the bottom bed with him for a while after he parked for the night. On the 4th day I asked him to rub my back, so he did.. he then told me its been so long sinse he's felt a womans body like this that it was effecting him in a certain way, hearing him say that, did the same thing to me. All I could do was smile at him, and he kissed me passionately then kissed my neck and chest. I knew it was so, so wrong.. but it didn't feel that way, it felt so good and I didn't want him to stop. And he didn't.

What happened on that trip was my body's desires taking over, maybe if I had self control I could have stopped it from happening.. I fell into a deep depression after I returned home because of the shame and disgust I felt towards myself. I blamed my father, I went months without speaking to him. I wish I never even met him. But a few more months past and suddenly I felt lonely, I got ahold of my father again.. we started to talk, we apologized to eachother and everything was fine again.

It didn't take long till the memories of our trip started to creep back into my thoughts, but this time it didn't upset me, it made me want him again. I lusted for him, I needed to feel that love again.. So I went to stay him on his week off, we shared his bed. It was amazing just like the first time.. but afterwards I went back home and became angry and depressed again. When my period was 2 weeks late I took a pregnancy test, I was so scared to look.. but it was true, it was positive. When I told my father he asked me to abort, but I told him no.


My baby girl is now 2 1/2 months old. She is perfect, healthy and so beautiful. She has dad's bright blue eyes. Mama's nose, lips and chin, and our dark hair. I got so lucky that she looks mostly like me.. I sometimes wish the 3 of us could be one strange little happy family, but remembering the past, I know I will regret it because it seems to be an endless cycle of lust then hate. I tell people I was too drunk at a party to remember who I slept with. I'd rather be known as a drunk whore then an incesting freak. I know i'm not alone but I know the real world would never understand. My father has always told me he doesn't see me as his daughter, but as a beautiful young woman. And he's never been my dad.. he was a stranger I met when I was 12, and we became very close. I do know there is something called genetic sexual attraction syndrome... but I will just leave it at self diagnosed. He has only met my daughter once sinse she's been born, and I honestly hope he'll be more involved in her life, even if she'll only know him as grandpa.

Thanks for reading <3

I am so tired of complete #######4. I don't see the point of anything anymore.

Im a 19 year old male, believe it or not studying psychology at university. I just cant seem to find myself! I thought university would change this with me living away from home, i thought it would be the part of my life where i would blossom but no, nothings changed.
I have zero confidence, i cant talk to people, i shy away all the time. Ive always been an attractive person, but the exterior just doesnt reflect whats inside. I dont have many friends atall, i know alot of people and people know me but know one that i could actually get into a deep coversation with. One thing that is worrying me alot is the excessive alcohol im drinking, I drink quite often as i believe it gives me more confidence, i am able to conversate with people and actually feel like i have a purpose. Im not an alcoholic as i can take it or leave it but i do feel that if i do not start to get help i will end up turning to drink.
My family is pretty messed up to be honest, my mother is amazing but shes just under so much preassure with work and helping my sister who is a single mother and battleing a cannabis and alcohol addiction. I just dont want to talk to her and put more worries into her head, she wouldnt deal with it. my mother has been on anti-depressents for as long as i can remember.
I feel like i am really blabbing on here but this is the first time ive actually been able to think about the way i feel and what crap is actually in my head. Its getting to the stage where i just dont know which direction i am going in or how to get there. I am not suicidal but the thought has crossed my mind a few times.
I know by writing this im not going to be instantly fixed/cured but it has helped alot, im not asking for answers, just maybe someone to talk to or someone with advice.

Thankyou for taking the time to read this.
Mike

This all started about a year and a half ago. I was spending the night at my best friends house for the first time and i got a little warm so i was changing into a tank top and while i had my shirt off his step dad came into the room. i saw him give me a strange glare and walk away. i hadn't thought anything of it for about seven months. Then after noticing that we weren't hanging at his house at all anymore i started wondering. so one day after school i went over to his house. his mom let me in and we talked until he got home. Throughout the this whole time his step dad has blocked my number on their home phone, tried convincing the homeowners community not to allow me to walk on his street, he's banned me from his property, and his son can no longer come over to my house at all anymore. Ive overheard his dad call me a few very unflattering names. and his mom has called my parents a complete waste of time. I'm wondering what options i have either to file a suit against him or how i can get him to understand what he has done over the years.

My boyfriend has been in this really bad place for the past couple of weeks. He says that he doesn't feel like himself (or act like himself) & that he feels like 'nothing'. He's saying that he doesn't feel like a friend or a boyfriend. And that he feels nothing towards our relationship, even though he loves me like crazy. He just feels nothing towards everything right now.

Because of this he wants us to take a break from our relationship so he can focus on himself and getting better. He wants to do it alone.

I am really worried about him. I can't just leave him to battle this on his own when i'm the only one that knows he's in this bad place.

Even though we are on a break I really want to be there for him and help him. I just don't know how...