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Be more 'social' they tell me! by therestorativeniche on Fri Jan 11, 2013 6:53 am
Until recently, I never viewed my introversion as much of problem. I was told at work that I "need to be more social". This really struck a cord with me because I never thought that as I began my adult life my introversion may limit my success . So I decided to start this blog and chronicle my journey of becoming 'more social'.

Why are you so quiet? He must me hiding something...

Now this is easier said than done of course. My whole life people have been telling me, 'you're so quiet', 'you should talk more' or my new favorite 'be more social'. It's gotten to the point where some people feel uncomfortable around me because I'm so quiet. What is it that makes them so uncomfortable? Is it that my behavior or lack there of, is so unusual they just can't stand it? Is it that I'm some psycho who's going to snap at any moment? Is it the natural human tendency to be afraid of someone who's not like you? Not my problem right? They should be more understanding. Well unfortunately in a world of extroverts it is my problem. As much as I would love to live in a world where everyone accepts each other the way they are, that's just not reality. It's an extroverts world and if I'm going to thrive and not just survive, I've got to get to work and figure something out. So I'm going to be more 'social'. I'm not sure what that will look like, but in the following months, if not years, I will try and look deeper into the complex relationship that introverts and extroverts have and attempt different strategies for becoming more 'social'.

Why is it that quiet people make others feel uncomfortable?

Please share your thoughts.

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I had a baby with my father by Nylala on Sat Mar 10, 2012 2:25 pm
I am so thankful I found this site, I've been needing to get this out. This is a secret that both me and my father will take to our graves.
I never knew my real father until I was about 12 years old. I met him for the first time and he was a fairly attractive man. We grew a decent friendship and learned that I was just like him in many ways. As I got older I noticed he would get flirty with me, and instead of a normal father-like hug.. I would get a hug and a long kiss on the neck. I never minded though.

He was a truck driver, he went on 2 week trips at a time, then a week off. I was 18 years old when he invited me to go with him for a trip, and I agreed.. I was excited because I never got to travel much. His semi had bunk beds, but I would always lay in the bottom bed with him for a while after he parked for the night. On the 4th day I asked him to rub my back, so he did.. he then told me its been so long sinse he's felt a womans body like this that it was effecting him in a certain way, hearing him say that, did the same thing to me. All I could do was smile at him, and he kissed me passionately then kissed my neck and chest. I knew it was so, so wrong.. but it didn't feel that way, it felt so good and I didn't want him to stop. And he didn't.

What happened on that trip was my body's desires taking over, maybe if I had self control I could have stopped it from happening.. I fell into a deep depression after I returned home because of the shame and disgust I felt towards myself. I blamed my father, I went months without speaking to him. I wish I never even met him. But a few more months past and suddenly I felt lonely, I got ahold of my father again.. we started to talk, we apologized to eachother and everything was fine again.

It didn't take long till the memories of our trip started to creep back into my thoughts, but this time it didn't upset me, it made me want him again. I lusted for him, I needed to feel that love again.. So I went to stay him on his week off, we shared his bed. It was amazing just like the first time.. but afterwards I went back home and became angry and depressed again. When my period was 2 weeks late I took a pregnancy test, I was so scared to look.. but it was true, it was positive. When I told my father he asked me to abort, but I told him no.


My baby girl is now 2 1/2 months old. She is perfect, healthy and so beautiful. She has dad's bright blue eyes. Mama's nose, lips and chin, and our dark hair. I got so lucky that she looks mostly like me.. I sometimes wish the 3 of us could be one strange little happy family, but remembering the past, I know I will regret it because it seems to be an endless cycle of lust then hate. I tell people I was too drunk at a party to remember who I slept with. I'd rather be known as a drunk whore then an incesting freak. I know i'm not alone but I know the real world would never understand. My father has always told me he doesn't see me as his daughter, but as a beautiful young woman. And he's never been my dad.. he was a stranger I met when I was 12, and we became very close. I do know there is something called genetic sexual attraction syndrome... but I will just leave it at self diagnosed. He has only met my daughter once sinse she's been born, and I honestly hope he'll be more involved in her life, even if she'll only know him as grandpa.

Thanks for reading <3

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An Introduction to My Mission by Bunnielight on Mon Nov 11, 2013 8:06 pm
Hi there.
You may call me Bunnie. I am a 23 year old female who is recently married. While I am completely happy and content with my life, I still carry a lot of baggage on a daily basis and need somewhere to go to write and vent. My mother is believed to have extreme narcissistic personality disorder and has been diagnosed multiple times with bipolar disorder. However, because of her narcissism, any treatment is slapped away. She cannot maintain a stable lifestyle, a job, and refuses to pay rent. She recently got arrested for exactly that and any other information regarding her is simply my grandparents and I digging around trying to find something out.

My sister, half sister to be exact, is a 19 year old "mother" of two who recently had her children taken from her by DCS and relocated to a loving family trying their best to deal with the cases appropriately and cooperate with her while she gets her life together. However, her priorities and terrible attitude is questionable regardless of what she claims. She has been told to do numerous things all of which she either ignores or makes sure she does the minimum. I would have dismissed all of this a long time ago and moved on with my life if I didn't care so much. I want the best because our mother never provided anything for her. I want my nephews to have a good life and to have their mother. It is these reasons that I have tried to be the appropriate rock, but her attitude and my limited affect on this situation, legally, makes it that much harder.

Every day I struggle with my role in all of this. I want the best for everyone. I want them to get the help they need. But the stress of it all effects my life on a daily basis. My life is great. I have a stable job and my husband and I are starting our own business. I am a photographer and he is a videographer/producer. If we continue on the path that we are on, we will be highly successful.

Which is why I had to find somewhere to turn to vent and give me direction. I need to deal with this appropriately and help who I can where I can without causing more damage than I am helping.

I have had blogs over the years but none that I felt comfortable truly venting in. Nowhere that gave me proper feedback or guidance. I came here because I feel like this is where I can find that. Because I definitely need it.

-HMD

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enough is enough and its time for a change by daveisking19 on Wed Apr 01, 2015 11:42 pm
My gambling is becoming out of hand lately and i really feel its changiny core as a person it all started when i got a job at a nearby gambling establishment and to cut a long story short i started to gamble because of my employment and now i feel like it is taking over my life and more important things are taking a back seat. i'm new to the site so any help/advice by more experienced gamblers would greatly help thank you.

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Schizophrenia and Multiple Personality Disorder *May Trigger* by crazy_banana on Wed Aug 26, 2015 5:15 am
I am Rose, an alter of Anna. She is 15, I am 16. I am always with her, watching, observing what happens. I control her memories and what she remembers. I know all of her memories from the very beginning, and I can, at times, come out to act as a co-Host. I know everything she's gone through , and I act as a leader between all of the alters. I can, at times, control who it is that comes forward. I am their manager and leader. Rage is the hardest to control, because she can draw a line of destruction whenever and wherever she is. She is filled with bottled up anger and rage that was never dealt with all our life. Should I be scared? No, she's only trying to protect our system. I feel more afraid of Echo, because he's always crying and I'm scared that he'll one day give into the darkness.

Everyone thinks that they suffer alone from our schizophrenia, but we all suffer from it equally. Even Anna suffers from it, seeing and hearing people as if she were on acid. Rae is only angered and annoyed, but Brian, whom is the most affected by it, is made to feel even more afraid than he already is all the time. Brian is a moderately autistic 18 year old with the mind of a 5 year old. He enjoys wearing shorts and faded salmon shirts. He fears everyone and everything. He is the most affected because he is so young mentally and is suffering from autism.

Brian was made in the hospital, after being restrained for days. Rae was made after being in the inpatient psychiatric unit for a month. Rage was made from years of bottled up rage. Echo was made from an event Anna went through while she was only nine; thus, the reason that Echo is permanently nine. I was made, as a mute, mature girl, from years of being told not to speak about the horrors I've faced.

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