I am a victim of sexual abuse. Most of my previous posts were usually pretty short and very vague about my situation. They were mainly used for ranting, so I didn't expect anyone to read them. Then, I began to realize from being on this website, that this would be a safe enviornment to talk about things. So, here it goes; I am a teen girl, who began getting sexually abused by my step brother in the seventh grade. It went on for two years, until I finally told my mom, which she refused to do any thing, because she didn't want to leave her boyfriend. I am now living with my Dad, and my mom and her boyfriend are now married. The last couple years have been a huge roller coaster of events, from my maternal grandmother dying, my Dad getting custody over me, my little sister getting beaten by my mom, and me finding the two things that I have eternally fallen in love with; Zachary and roller derby. I want my junior year to be the mark of my synapse. I know I still have a long way to go, and I will still have troubles ahead, but this time, I will fight.

So My boyfriend and I have been together a little over 2 years. We are both 20 years old. Up until a few months ago he was perfect fun and outgoing. He practically bowed down and kissed my feet and did anything for me. i dont mean to sound concieted, but thats how it was! Semi-recently he has changed. It started when we moved into the city in a house with 3 other gays. He just became more stand-off ish, and didnt want to cuddle or spend too much time with me. I ignored it thinking it was coming from stress about money and such, but it got worse. He eventually seemed like he was only happy when he wasnt with me. Rarely had sex or kissed me or even acted like i was around. This all was very hard for me, but i love him so i stuck around. Everything i did or said could make him mad and start a fight. This made me try harder to be sweet and cute with him and he didnt want any part of that. About two months ago he broke up with me saying he hates the house and the housemates and he just wasnt happy, but we talked and i told him if he really doesnt want to be with me then he could go and id be okay, but i didnt want him to do that without being 100% SURE. so we ended up working it out and he did it again two days later and the same thing happened. Then a month or so went by and he told me he wasnt happy, and he didnt know why. he recognizes that he has a career and a boyfriend who loves him more than anything and he loves me the same. I told him that he needed to leave because i couldnt emotionally handle it anymore. He got a room somewhere else and still isnt happy and we are seeing each other and taking it day by day. Today he told me he hates his life and has nobody but me. I love him and want to help but i dont know how. His father disowned him 2 years ago when he told him he was gay and they used to be really close and now he doesnt see or talk to him at all. His mother isnt there for him either. He feels alone and miserable and i try to tell him to keep his head up. He needs help, i know but is there anything i should be doing? can someone help me understand becasue i take it personally when i know that i shouldnt...He lashes out at me over stupid things then later tells me hes sorry and that he wishes id just leave because he treates me like $#%^ but he says he loves me so much and doesnt understand why i put up with it...i just dont know what to do! id love to talk to someone maybe on the phone?

I am Bipolar 1 and a paranoid schizophrenic. I take Depakote, zyprexa, hydroxizene, citalopram and medforim. I have gained 50 pounds in two months. Because of this I have been taking around 15 laxatives a day. I haven't tried overdosing on medication since I was sixteen and I am thirty seven now. Here's the but... I don't think I want to die but it's all I can think about. The thrill of taking as much as I can and feeling as physically sick as possible but not going to go get my stomach pumped seems to be the plan. The medications I've been planning are all past scripts and current ones. I know this is simply crazy I have a good doctor but the phone weighs a thousand pounds this Saturday morning. Hospital is out. I just seem to want to suffer. If you were me and did call, what would you say and exactly what results would you want anyway?

I've recently been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder(Depressive type) after 3 years of hell. Its hit me hard as i always thought things would turn out better , if you get me. Ive had bad days alot. And some good days. Im on medication , abilfy 15mg , fluxotine 30mg a day and i feel that it just works for a bit then stops. In the past i had taken seroquel which didnt work at all and risperidone which did work but i had bad side effects and had to change drug. Its doing my head in. I just want to get better ! I wish there was a mircle drug or something , something that would take the voices away. The voices are loud and agressive, they tell me to do things that i shouldnt do. Things got so bad i was admitted to a mental health unit for 3 months. I was in a safe place but i got no help with coping and my medication was removed in the process which added insult to injury.

I feel very alone as i have no one to talk to who has the same diagnoses as me, understands me, or understands what i am going through.
I would like to be able to use this forum to meet people who are similarly affected and able to understand and offer support as id like to do the same.

I am a sixteen year old female who is sexually attracted to her own mother. I'm incredibly ashamed of it and I have no idea why I feel this way. I don't find her attractive. And I've actually had an absolutely horrible relationship with her ever since i was 13 and I cannot stand the woman.
Honestly, the relationship is so horrible. I have trouble hearing her voice without getting incredibly pissed off. But recently I've been getting so angry, that I actually become turned on. Now, the littlest things she does that used to make me so angry, now turn me on. For example, the way she handles everything so delicately, how soft her voice is...ect. ect.

I've been feeling this way for about 6 months and its been progressively getting worse. Now I find it invading my thoughts, and being on my mind frequently.
I have struggled with OCD in the past... Obsessive thoughts about things such as incest and bestiality .. but I've never had problems with obsessive thinking AND erotic feelings.

Please. help. I've attempted suicide because of this, and I haven't been able to bring myself to tell my therapist or psychiatrist.
I have looked on some forums saying that feeling sexually attracted to a family member is more common than people realize... which makes me feel a little bit better.

But I would like to know why on earth do I feel this way? And how can I make it go away?