Im at this place.
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Ive moved on. Ive transformed into a new space within modern present reality...
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I kissed hugged and melt with the past; I boxed fought and collapsed with it. I was bend'n with it. And within that fight I was shaking it hands... it was end... We just stood there looking at each other; me and these ghosts; and they were sword fighting with each other. And all around me Kaos... THen God came down and set "Omnicell" " move forward"; " follow me" " Let the dead bury their own dead"; " you are to follow me"... And I did; walked out of ghost city through a quantum wall into the present and here I am. Anyone I left behind never liked me anyway; But they are on the other side of the wall now; And I am on this side of the wall now. And I am now sitting; sitting on this side of the wall; and I'm looking at the city before me. And the boulevards are singing.
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So; here I am in the sullen dark of the city before it wakes; its quite... Im just sitting. its kind of lonely gray and.... well; it has a sense of bounce! but its a super clear plastic beach ball and its just bouncing down... up n down and the headlights pick up and just kind of drive by it; the ocean is so dark blue but fluorescent at night. And the divers on the cliffs; they skip the alphabet; Launch; here comes jets summer saluting to the shore... And ten others just like myself are making angels in the sand; making angels in the sand.
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Wait for the Drop..... FL Studios is always the choice... listen to that Grind.... Its the flava life sava...
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They never liked me; they despised in that most unfavorable way; And God got me out of there. I never knew... I was buried alive; But Im talking about the war; and they sent me home from the war; the war is over there; I am 100000000 miles away and never to return... Im on the other side of the wall. I am the wall...
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HEre I am. Now what!
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I have an anxiety disorder and cant really do anything.
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I can see the segments of time; the periods between now and where Im going; the end result to be back. I can see the pain periods...
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Ive never close enough to this apocalypse to deal with it. Ive never been this close before. I was never over the past like I am now. Now I deal with the original pain periods.. These weren't buried; they were just lying around untouched at the start of the disorder. I never got over the mountain to find them.
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Im at this place where I work through the anxiety disorder and come back to some forms of normal. Im waiting.
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IM BUILDING STORIES>>>>
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It is time. Ive been working toward this moment for a long time but had no idea what it would look like. And here I am; Its story time; new stories for refixing a broken life.
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So; Im at this place on the other side of the wall; and I create my future; its a time of talking to God and working with God... telling God what my future will look like... Its a very lonely stressful kind of thinga-....
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This is an uncomfortable situation.
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Ill start writing and waiting upon God...
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My knew stories about what I want; my future to look like.
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Women; Girlfriends; best friends... love sex and romance rockets...
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Money
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Music/Art; This has so many sad stories tied to it; Ill have to work through this as a mini campaign... Im not able to get into this at all or music and art at all. but I can feel the pressure; I feel the pressure of change because Ive made it through the wall and Im there no more... And thus I will take a little practice and step out...
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Im closer but still blocked by a ruptured personality and nervous system in these untouched areas.
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Im at about 3 to 4 12 step meetings a day plus the time for rides by other fellow members and we talk recovery shop the whole way and back; and so this adds another hour 1/2 to the sanctum highway dungeon crawling... a glimpse of home comes near...
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So here I am. Its really strange; I can kind of feel the sadness and sorrow but its associated with whats behind the wall on the other side and all of that is now gone from me... God moved me on through the wall. So; now; the answer is forward... For there is no one behind me... ...
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So; all my feelings get met by a new life segment. Lucky me; No one gets out... I must work and earn my way into a new way of thinking.
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Here I am!