July 2025
June 2025
My History is being pared-down to one thing ( Pause); Friendship...
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My Mother and Father were not my friends... They turn out to be my enemies... bullies and worse... Destroyer of anyone they can get a hold of; innocent children if they can get away with it.
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The First best friend I had is a lair. He is not my friend and I wont know that; not for years; He was never a friend of mine.. And possibly never wanted me at his house in the first place. He was never a friend of mine. This means he wasnt the type...
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FIRST LOVE: She was not my friend; And that solves almost all things dealing with that person.. THey were evil; thats the problem... SHe was evil. I believe she was more the sociopathic bully; not someone's friend... But; I wouldnt know; and I really dont care... She was not my friend..
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I was looking for a friend. And for a relationship with a women or at that time a very young women; she was not my friend...
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My bases for a relationship was based on her being my friend.. or anyone. For her; I visited many times to her house; because I wanted her as my friend. Little did I know that was an impossibility. That was impossible because she could not be anyone's friend... She was a 2 faced liar sociopath... con artist immoral. No way of knowing at the time until it was 2 late...
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However, What is important is my growth. THe universe is opening my eyes very quickly to who I am and what I desire and what Ive always been working toward... I simply wanted a friend; thats all this has ever been about.
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So; Now; I work with the universe to find me another friend.. but this time I first must get better... And I am; but Im still hardened inside; but Im better. slowly opening up that place of hardness. I have done allot of work on that hardened area. And it is slowly being reopened maybe. Not yet; but Im on my way... I have to depend on the universe.
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THe 12 step meetings; some of them are crazy with lunatics and unsafe people... Even the people running them are getting way out of line... So; Ill be working with the universe on places to go.
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Things are getting straightened out in my life and understood... But not quite .......
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Ill keep working with the universe.
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Times I had problems in the school system when young; I had no one; I was completely abandon; no family; no friends. I went into a stupor of terror and freeze mode... I could not function; I could not move; no one to tell anything was wrong; I had no one... nothing... This would never end; I would finally become more more mentally ill as I shut down from reality.
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So; today the discoveries are coming about. And Im learning who I am and slowly becoming independent of what happened to me. God is slowly bringing me back to reality. IT seems the universe is doing what I ask for; for the sanity of my life to return to me in front of me... Im less dissociative or I have the condition but Im being strengthened..
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I have a strong relationship with GOd...
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I know that God would not send me to bad people to try to become friends with; Something else horrible happened; In several cases I was desperate and mentally ill.
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Ill continue to write up stories about what I want and want to become; with happy endings; positive endings...
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Ive found a very strange thing working with the universe; I keep winning; I keep getting positive endings to my stories and the issues Im working on... Im not use to this... THe universe is my friend and continues to prove it...
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So;
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Im realizing in relationships; It so simple; I was just looking for a friend.. Someone I could share my time and my life with...
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Our partner
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