This is just more information as the universe brings it to me. As I slowly make my way out of this hideous sad past.
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Ive mentioned several times how I was planning on marrying my First Love; However, looking back at it; she was not planning on marrying me; That is why she is not with me right now; thats what it means...
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I asked God about it; Why did she lead me on. God let me know; She hates GOd; she is of the devil; she is trying to destroy children of the light... Her Father is in Hell... He is the Father of lies and she is a Lair! Pure Evil.
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So; The question is; What was I doing around some entity of pure evil; If Im not evil myself; and Im not! Im fairly corrupt person; but I would say Im not completely evil. Ive got my problems; but Im not out leading people over a cliff... Those doing this kind of thing are murder'rs.
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So; THe most important aspect is the truth. The truth is; this is not someone that wanted to marry me...
What was I doing there?
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Its more of the truth coming out and more of my delusion going down... This was not a person who cared about me or what happened to me; the more work I do on it; the more I can see nothing was there; but the universe has to open it up to me; let me see it.
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More n more; Im seeing a satanic worldly person... No God!
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THe more I see this; I was going in the wrong direction. I was reacting to something else.
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I was going in the wrong direction; "of course I was going in the wrong direction". I was not my real self. My real self would have been creating art work; not bothering with these stuck up people up the street; that was not my direction.
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I JUST HAS A MASSIVE INSITE HIT ME FROM THE UNIVERSE:
THIS IS INTERESTING: THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IVE GOT KNEW INSITES WHILE WRITING LIKE THIS IN A BLOG ON THIS SITE: IT IS HAPPENING NOW AS IM WRITING>>>>>
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I just had a complete Paradigm shift or quantum leap while writing this blog. Right now!
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I didnt just get a thought; I got a complete jump. I can now see what I was suppose to be doing back when I was in high school at the time I knew this girl up the street. I was never suppose to know that person; I was suppose to be at school doing something productive... Like creating Art work and knowing nice people. I would have never met that person; I was a nice warm sunny person... I would have had colory nice warm sun shinny friends. Im seeing things open up for me at that time period; Im seeing it in my imagination; it came literally out of know where; Suddenly I can see it... And that girl is nowhere to be seen. She does not exist in this new story of what I was suppose to be doing at that time... I would have been around nice friendly loving warm people.
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When I met that girl; I wanted her to have some of this sunshine I had within my heart; I was destroyed... She was of the devil! I was of God...
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So; now because I worship God; God is bringing back the sunshine in my heart and the light from God is shining during those time periods... So; Ill go with it.. I can see a purpose and she is not in it; she doesnt exist...
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Maybe God was waiting for me to accept that she never wanted to marry me; she was just playing me... And God wanted me to finally accept this... I dont think its any of my business; its Gods business.
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Im seeing my heart and Gods sunshine shining through it... I can see it at that time period... God is putting my thoughts to sunshine...
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So; this is great; Ill continue to work with God on this...
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Its hard when Im the one with the character and the bad person wins and I was destroyed.. When all I wanted to do was help and love someone... My only crime was I wanted to love someone. I didnt understand; that girl didnt need to be loved; not by someone like me. She wanted to be loved by someone of the Devil; And thats what she was waiting for...
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God is protecting me; and protecting me from that girl and anyone like her; SHe is from the Devil! ANd God is protecting me from her and anyone like her! Hurray for God! Hurray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Music;
Im going to attempt to write up some notes and create something with the written notes; build on that... meaning; Come up with some ideas; And then write it into notation; basic form and go from there. Writing the notes down turns it into something real... .
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IN GENERAL: Ill keep working with God on the kind of person GOd wants me to be; Im starting to feel the sun shinny presence of Love from God. Ill see what kind of crafty things Im suppose to create or build or what ever Im suppose to do...
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Just checking in; Wow; That was really interesting; Im now getting awakenings when I write...
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