July 2025
June 2025
Phase 10; This is about relationships...
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Im still being pulled from the past... So; it will be a while as God digs me out of the caves...
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Im sure Ill bring up activities( write about them) as stumbling blocks occur. Ive already crossed over into a new reality. God has supplied several new working models for activities with music creation; they are birthed into reality by the universe. These are complete starting models or conceptions for immersing myself into creating. Part of this deal; the new conceptions; part of it is me. Im new. God had to go in me; rebirth part of me to go with the new concepts that are rebirthed.. Those concepts have been rebirthed in activities. I have music creation models that extend to all areas of the creation process; from thoughts of what to create; to the time required sitting at equipment to create; to love getting into the equipment and creating; The universe sent information on what and how to perform if I choose; how to get started. Several of my most important questions I had no hope with have been answered in my favor by God. What used to baffle me is now being turned on its head... I am now equipped as a person to handle the responsibilities of a beginning creator( this sound a little heavy; Im not that far yet; I havent even gotten started; God has supplied the supplies).
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This means the doors been open when before it was dissociatedly closed. Because the door is open to this new openness; This does not make the steep working concept any less hard; but its easier because I cant wait to be part of it because my whole life experience concerning this has changed( have a good attitude about it; that means I feel new and safe and trust God); I own it now; its mine; I feel safe behind the equipment; God is protecting me and it and me while I create... Its a mixture of God and my imagination thoughts; And thoughts turn to things if I want them bad enough...
Is this making sense; I didnt just ask for the ability to create; I asked for the ability to be a productive creator; and that means equipment and the ability to feel safe enough to apply myself to this equipment in present space; that means I feel safe right now in this space(is this true; well; its an experiment). This means the love of spending hours on this equipment having fun like a little kid at the swing sets at the park; is upon me. Not all fun is at the video game monitor indoors; sometimes its at the park on the swings.
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So; Im watching God manifest everything I asked... its incredible. Im floating down the energy river on a raft with hands to my sides; Im not rowing anything; Im just letting the raft float and Im floating down the river with it; where ever it stops; thats my new manifestation I get to pick up...
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So; concerning music; GOd as created the ability to have thoughts to create and desires..
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God is large and incharge;
The universe; created the space and equipment design; ergonomic design of what I want... the equipment that would work... My interest and experimentation with that equipment( I kept praying and taking it to God every minute; every second I would stop and pray). God is supplying the ability to want to sit at that equipment and play with it for hours; altho Im not anywhere near using that equipment yet; its been opened in my mind. ITs the fact its opened.. that means Im opening into a new world... where Im not held back like before; where I feel safe with this equipment; experimenting with it... God has created re manifestation. Im literally being taken back to my teen years and before and being regenerated in a new direction of choice...( early childhood); Gods choice; my inner beings choice. Is any of this making any sense; am I explaining this correctly.
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RELATIONSHIPS;
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Im getting over First Love
Im in immense pain
Im working with the universe...
This is real!
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Its interesting; The real way God is moving me on from First Love. I have to be moved forward so she is an after thought; Then God can go back and unlatch me from the past. ANd thats exactly what has happened and is happening...
Im being unlatched right now from the past; and it hurts. Its like someone pulling my skin off!
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Its like Im laying on the floor and a machine comes and peels me off the floor and the price is; where I was glued to the floor; the skin remains... So; this is scary and no fun; But I can feel it; This is the price of what I asked for. Im being picked up and moved down energy river!
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I asked the universe to make me a new man; prepare me for a wife and a family; And for this to happen the old man; the old me has to be ripped out of my old crib... literally ripped out and set forth on a moving raft down energy river to start my life again. And thats exactly what is happening.
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Im not sure what happened to me when young concerning First Love; I believe I was introduced and seduced was murdered by this person Im afraid. I had absolutely no future with this person; I was a foolish young boy and innocent and nice; but naive and foolish who ended up in a spider webs den...
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Technically I ended up where I didnt belong and I will pay for it.
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NOTE: I Was watching a show on gang members... unfortunately; one member of one gang found himself on the other side of town in another gangs territory; I dont think he realized where he was. by the time he realized it; it was 2 late. THe other gang found him and did him in. He will never get another chance to not make that mistake again. I understand.
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I made a mistake when young; I found myself at someone's residence where I was not invited and didnt belong; and thus I tried to make a go of it; I completely failed. Im not sure why I believed this was someone to try to make a go of it with. I knew better from the start but I would listen to reason. I had tried this with others before this... and I knew better. These were not my people. I let them go.. I had no home and I tried going after people way above my means. It certainly didnt work out. They had no interest in me; regardless of who I thought I was; Who I thought I am in Gods eyes.. I was going down the wrong path...
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A whole other world can be going on just up the street from where I live and I would never know it or understand it; and if Im from God and innocent; its better I never venture out in that direction and find out.
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Its seemed easy; the door was open when I met my First Love; However; this was a door with an ambush behind it...
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NOTE: I was not fishing down my lane; I was in the wrong territory. And for that; it was over before it started. If I had been going down my lane; I would have to contact God; work with the universe; work with my inner being; get to know my inner being; work with the people God sent me to gather info on how to be more spiritual; id have to work with spiritual kids my own age; probably from church... Id have to have a working relationship with God... and many more things. I would not have been free. And from there; I would have been in the flow of God and people and probably met someone God was sending me...
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At the house of my first love;
The problem was; I was really weak; and I was mental from trauma; and they saw this and took advantage of it... I had no friends there; and from this girls aspect; I was not her first love; I was of no love and no interest; she had no interest in me( I meant nothing to her). I was a complete stranger she did not want at her house. I just didnt know it. I was not invited in the first place. I didnt know it. She knew it; so did everyone else. THese were criminals.
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THe point is; a big lesson will occur and Ill get smashed...
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INTO THE PRESENT:
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NEW RELATIONSHIPS;
So; God has me starting out new...
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I first become new;
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Im now slowly getting unstuck from the ground I was glued to for years... I was glued by unreasonable horrible treatment by those who didnt want me or ever wanted me on their property or in their lives. I was mentally ill and asleep and was desperate for any kind of human contact.. I was deletional and innocent; but the people in those houses I visited; those scumbags dont care about such things; they are spoiled with no concious. unfortunately; those are the doors I found myself peering through. I had no idea.... I was broken and just wanted a friend; My mistake... THe lesson is; dont roam outside; stay in my room; let God know what is going on; and stay put until God sends help... I will recognize its from God because its GOd; a GOd origin; Not Satan...
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Im being ripped of the ground I was glued to. This makes sense; the flow of energy down the energy river in the universe; this current if energy is breaking me lose from my past and floating me down to my new destination; In order for this to happen. I must ask God for help... When I ask GOd for help.. really ask and learn to ask enough to mean it... I am put into the flow of energy; the universe energy and I began to move down the energy river... God prepares me...
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I was destroyed before. Not anymore. IT doesnt mean I function or Im not mentally ill; It just means God has a hold of me not Satan. Not anymore... Satan is still trying; but Im in Gods hands now... And God is carrying me down the energy river to a new life and new destination. Im in Gods hands because I made the conscious choice to be in Gods hands; and that has taken allot of work....
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Im scared. I dont want to meet any new relationships that are 2 faced or adulter's. I dont want to meet the kind of people that play people or set other people up. Ill have to trust God with all of this...
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I have no idea what is going to happen or who I am going to meet; Ill keep working with my inner being and aligning with my inner being... Alignment...
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I can feel it; Im already changing; getting back on the right path...
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THIS WILL BE ALL NEW:
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Im already feeling it; Im getting peeled of the ground and thrown into the energy realm... as I float away down the river.... I have to meditate and keep working at it...
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As for the scumbags in the world; their will always be scumbags in the world... criminals... I dont have to associate with them.
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The key is to keep reaching out to God... God can unearth me from the past... And at some point; God can send a spiritual tsunami; and I can be unearthed; chains broken and literally flung down the energy river in the flow with everything else... That is what is happening now. GOd is only doing what I asked him to do for me!
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IVe been at this for awhile and I testimony that ive been working with God and My ability to call out to God and send a message for help to the universe is getting stronger and the universe does show up for me; much more then in the past. Im much more aware of it and allowing the response to it... Before I was hardheaded mentally-ill and broken; God did the best he could for me...
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This is the beginning of the movement forward for relationships... I have no idea what lies ahead... Not yet...
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Im still being pulled from the past... So; it will be a while as God digs me out of the caves...
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Im changing; Im being sent down energy river.
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