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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
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Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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On having friends

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Wed Aug 18, 2021 5:01 pm

Concerning fake friends from the past and my dysfunctional way of meeting people; a trait I learned from the alcoholic family system I came from.
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I was used horribly and sadistically by many people; However, a few that I called my friends were actually sociopaths I had forged with a false narrative. I had taken basic criminal types and projected my fantasy of “nice person” on them. And I will pay for such things; but I was 2 young to even have a clue.. I was wiped out and destroyed; never had a clue what hit me. However, The universe continues to open such things up to me…. It was never personal; these were predator—eal monsters. These sycophants were not capable of anything else; they were base line criminals with no conscious; they were not street people; they came from well to do homes; I guess?
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THe point is; I was just looking for friends. Now; after the universe uncovers what baffled me. I realize how desperate for a family Ive been; any family. It scares me that I was attracting these horrible creatures…. The moment I showed up it was show time for them; manipulation and covert masks… I was used easily and after they got what they wanted; suddenly dumped without warning…. I never understood until the universe made it clear they did not care about my life; my future; my future happiness; nothing. And they certainly didnt care if they ever saw me again. At first I didnt get it; I was devastated. Now I know; it wasnt my fault; my God; I was around the wrong type of people.
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One of the friends was a girl I liked. My God; what a dreadful mistake that was…. I was psychologically emotionally slashed to death; and almost physically at the time…. She had goon friends who were going to ruff me up. I never got it; or understood. Now I do…. Im seeing the bigger picture….
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My antenna are broken. Ive got to really watch it when it comes to relationships; picking the right people. Ill start with God and let God sort them out.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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