OMNICELL's Blog

by **OMNICELL** on Sat May 10, 2025 10:43 pm

I have allot of goals.
As I extend back into society again; Im kind of at the very very beginning of a base; is it a real base; well; sorta;…. A Base within the beginning of society.
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Its like cellophane jell; The Wall. Im going from the past to No-mans-land up to New-land; Im now on that New-land about 100 feet; and then I hit this wall of clear transparent Jello. Im in the middle of it slowly progressing through this 15 foot thick wall of clear Jell. I went from the old me to the new me. From the new me Im on new land now; slowly making my way through the Jell wall… This means; Im being transformed from the past to the present new interactive world Ill be crafting into… No matter where go when I open up into this new vista; These new Areas are not connected to the past; they start at the other side of the Jell wall; as I will be.
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What does this mean? It means I level up when I come out of the Jell wall. It means Im ready.. Ive gotten up to speed into a new world.
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Does this mean Im completely ready; Im beat up from the street up. But; I am officially on the other side. Or; Im on this side; this new side of the wall. This is society. Im on the side of society. That means Im on the edge of society… But Im in society; And from there Im like much of me has no confidence. Im beat up from the street up. Half of me has no confidence… most of me has no confidence.
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Much of me has nothing going on concerning outside society. Nothing to do with society; not yet…
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So; Now I slowly work with God to accept the past is gone and slowly move in ward toward society. Into society.
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Im now beyond that gate; Im on the other side of that gate. What awaits me; Well; all my goals within society and how I work with God to go after them. Thats where Im at now!
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Its the new me as I am…
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by **OMNICELL** on Tue May 06, 2025 12:45 am

Its virtually impossible to create anything in the apartments Im in. I cant even write. Meaning; using computer keyboard. Because of he clicking sounds that are coming from the keyboard. Im not sure what to do about it. I don’t know…
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Ive called the landlord. No complaints so far. But that not just the problem. Im an intelligent person; I don’t want to go through this on a daily basis.
If I open the window; its that much worse. The keyboard is heard even more..
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The goal I have is to be numerous types of artist. Meaning; Drummer; writer, computer musician; Artist.
Even the click sounds of guitar bother people above me… This is when muffled. Is it their fault; No!
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So; I turn to God. Im on housing and Im not sure what to do… Or where to go. I don’t know…
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I almost think the universe does not want me to play or perform any artist stuff; nothing!
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Im seriously not sure what to do here. Non of this is making any sense for me.
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Im not sure where God wants me or doing what.
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Im mean; it seems to me like Im in some kind of foreign country. I cant do anything in my own country; its like being in a prison cell.
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Goal;
First; its not the other people in the building. I mean. Its the building; Its not even made for someone to use any kind of computer keyboard. Im on housing. What do I do… Not write.. Not play and sing guitar; not drum… No piano.
Its the pounding from the keyboard or the pick running across the strings; especially the lower ones…
Drumming is obvious.
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However; where does this leave me. I feel like this is telling me to stop all creative endeavors; let them go; Stop imagining Im going to get a drum room so I can drum; or a place to play acoustic guitar and sing; Just stop; get another hobby. Or typing and creative writing; get another hobby…
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It was never my intent to cause problem for the person above me or next to me; I just don’t know what to do….
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The idea is; I imagine Im in a new place or building or home and Im creating in it. And it will appear; the opportunity.
Im suppose to take action; I don’t know what action;. Im not getting any signals. Nothing..
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I don’t know what direction.
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Im sick of this; concerning housing; its been this way all my life… Nothingness. No way to create; but Im a creative person.
Suicide or alcohol was my choice before living in this society.
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I don’t have any answers for solutions for a practice room. Im an old man. And I don’t want to work with God to wait 15 years before I get a practice room
It just keeps telling me that the universe is telling me to STOP.
I don’t get this.
I like creating; Im stopped on all fronts…
I just wish I know the answers; I can turn to my inner bing and ask and I have but I get no answers on any fronts in front of me.
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Im at a real cross roads.
What Id like is an answer from The universe on what to do… what direction to God.
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One possibility is a more dedicated attitude. Realizing I can do nothing about this apartment I live in; Moving to another one solves nothing. I guess. Ive been through this before; over n over n over…
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Insane all of this.
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Whats really got me bugged is; Does the universe want me to CREATE or not! This is insane… insanity.
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I wait upon God for my requests. I havent given up; The problem is; I mean; No drumming means; all things future drumming are over. If I cant drum.
Creating music stops. I mean; what does this mean…
Art work can continue; but its not the same if the rest of me cant mature…
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Im trying to develop and mature. Im trying wondering when God is going to save me here. I feel so stuck…
I don’t know the direction.
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Ive got prayers that help.
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Im right in the middle of this stuff…
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I don’t know what to do…
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I wait upon God;
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Here is a prayer I use from God. From one of my groups. Its the 4ths step prayer…

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I a...

[ Continued ]

by **OMNICELL** on Tue Apr 29, 2025 11:52 am

Something gigantic is happening.
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Im getting back my childhood.
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This is like the Titanic going down; The bow (front) of the Titanic sank first, causing the stern (back) to rise out of the water and eventually tilt the ship to the point where it broke in two. As water flooded the compartments, the bow, being the heaviest end, submerged first, forcing the stern upward.
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Suddenly; Because of God; and intense long term prayer; Suddenly Before the Titanic breaks in 2; Suddenly it stops; the water below it is calm; The Titanic stops breaking in the middle; and a large ripping sound can be heard; Its the Titanic repairing itself; slowly the Titanic begins to reverse direction.
Suddenly the Bow comes back up from the weight of the water; The Stern lowers into the water; the back of the boat; Suddenly a splashing sound; The Titanic is miraculously back together. Its in one piece bobbing and splashing a bit back in forth in the water; but it slows dow. And setting in slowly (pause) and there is calm. From a distance onlookers cant believe their eyes; The Titanic has reversed itself; Its back in one piece; whole again..
The Titanic's engines are lit up; and it begans to roll and bellow; propellers forward; Motion; The Titanic begins to move down its formed track; its back on its journey as if nothing had happened and it continues down its track; on its way. And down the Ocean it sales onward to its original port…
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I am in my childhood…
I am in my childhood again. Down that pathway again… breaking through into that pathway… I can feel it.. Ive earned it.. Im earning it… Its not free…
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Think of someone being burned alive but without physical burning to their skin.. but everything else…
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The Titanic and myself are the same; the same ultered story; the Titanic coming back to life and I coming back to life.
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What is happened to me is not suppose to happen. It cannot happen without God. This is very painful to cross tracks back into my childhoods original track. This is literally Time Alteration.
Im warping time; Going Into my original self and starting over. I start over from the beginning; Before.
This is not easy.
And this wont be easy for some months. So far; its truly been brutal; but the universe does what I tell it to do. I command the Universe. And I told the universe to re-tro-fit me back in time; back into myself. And my commandment rings true.
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Here is the truth; here is the hard part. Since the past is an Alteration; All previous possibilities are gone.
Their will be no past; no “ Glory days”. No Noth’n. I wont wake up as Everything; Ill wake up as nobody; and Ill start from there; But Ill be free! And free indeed! But freedom costs. Its a very active place; its a place of activity. Its a place of sorrow… and with want; its a place of hope…. Its a place of loneliness acquired and discarded for something better… Its a place that plays upon words.. Word games; word salad… A solid monarch!
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SO be it!
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Its a place of fear and drowning… I have to call out to God as Im swept away; For the current has taken me. I must reach out to God for help and direction for the current has me like a snake in its teeth. But the snake slowly lets go as I drift in Gold… But the Gold is worthless is it not!
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I am left with blue sunlight… Amen
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And here I am. I have arrived at the port. Im a clean lad; dressed well in suit and proper… Im so clean I look like a clean street.
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Im another dirt-clod of curiosity looking around the palisade. I find myself in a hotel room made for immigrants… Dry folks crossing the water divide for another life.
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Ive arrived; its time to be grateful. Safety is of the day.
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Yet; Im in Gods wake… its a water boat in a bottle. No water; but allot a family.
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Im not in a safe place; God; you need to protect me… Said the Rabbit before it was eaten…
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[ Continued ]

by **OMNICELL** on Tue Apr 29, 2025 5:42 am

For the last 2 weeks; its been torture. Ive never opened up honestly about my real present position in life as I have for the last 2 weeks; Did it again at a meeting tonight… Much more authentic…
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Tonight; I said Im from Mars; Not this planet. On mars I can be myself; On this planet Im an alien; I don’t fit in to anything or with anyone anywhere; nothing.
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Tonight working with God and a new identity; I was able to hang on and just sit in my seat and not leave; feel the anxiety and not leave; kind of; learn how to be. Learn how to be my real authentic self and just sit there as self. I lasted about 30 seconds.
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This may have been the very first time Ive been like this understand God; since young childhood. It was incredible. It also allowed me to understand something.
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First; 30 seconds is all I could last actually being myself outside my apartment in the world… That means; God has only 30 seconds of the real me to bring me my whole life Im asking for. Thus; more realistic to say; I would say Ill be working on just being myself for moments at a time with the hope those moments will string into minutes and those minutes into hours and so on. And in this protect mode out in society; me being myself. I will ask God and work with God to attract only those people and places and things that Gods sends. People and places and things that have my best interests at heart; those people who truly value me; miss me; and are compelled to want to seek me out to spend time with me because they respect me and value me and are the same kind of people and awareness under God. For they are sent by God. And no one else matters...
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Note; Treachery; treachery is of the day… Those dishonest people; 2 faced people. On the outside they make it seem like they are my friends or my kind of people; On the inside; they are not… They are simply looking to manipulate everyone for attention; using everyone because they think they are above everyone. They are very dangerous people; narcissistic but appear to be everyone's friend. These are not people to associated with or believe. And I have to remember; not to get caught up by them. Just stay silent; and stay away from them; and do not get my hopes up about them. They are liars; and not on my side and this will pan out; will be uncovered; something just wont add up right. They are attention seekers; they are not trying to be my friend.
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A good test is; Stop noticing them or talking to them or associating with them; see if they ever come back or care; I bet they wont.
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Real friends or people on my side; look up to me; and value me from the start… It means something for them to lose me. They wont want to… They will try not to… it will mean something to them.
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However; as God wants me to open up into the world; I have lots of lessons to learn right now. Its an open world with all kinds of people. Not to many people like me or care. I have to remember that. I must work with God to manifest a bigger space for more of his people to show up in my life…
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Ive watched and witnessed a few things; Maybe Ill know a friend who knows a friend who knows a friend; they know a women; who I think is pretty and says all the right things; checks all the boxes for comparability; and maybe Im stupid enough to fall for it; lately; I have been not. Its easy to want to believe; but when its not true its not true…
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Those type of people; the pretty people; they are more interested in getting attention I think; They want to say the right things and laugh and giggle and play the role of someone attractive; and I see many people fall for it; And I was well; I certainly can entertain it but I don’t. I go to God first and very quickly working with Gods laws; I know better.
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The people Im suppose to be around; Ill naturally feel right for them; They will see my sensitivity and venerability and fi...

[ Continued ]

by **OMNICELL** on Mon Apr 28, 2025 4:01 pm

Changes;
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My confidence to simply take a chance and see what happens; Like opening up a door in the dark; and just jumping in… or peaking in.. letting go and jumping in..

Its the new me as I am…

The real faith and struggle begins.Working with a higher power

Something gigantic is happening

Being myself...

Down the rabbit hole...

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