My stupid ######6 @@@@@@@ mother won't stop ######6 yelling at us for no ######6 reason, and I'm ######6 sick of it. But we still love her. Still, for some reason now, she's just been a ######6 @@@@@@@.

My brother moved to Germany for army $#%^ a year ago, meaning he's still got 5 years left to serve, 2 in Germany and/or Afghanistan. Wherever the ###$ he goes, point is, he hates it. Sure, it may grow on him later, but right ######6 now he's just surrounded by american ###$ that are 19 and are in a country where the drinking age is 18. He tried drinking a few times. He realized what I've witnessed for 18 ######6 years: Its #######4, and a ######6 waste of ######6 time! But, NOOOO, he just had to do it. Y'know he said he would never drink one shot or anything, ever? The second he ######6 lands in Germany, JAGERMEISTER, #####&!!!

Now he doesn't drink. He's the designated driver for a bunch of ######6 Americans his age that only drink. Thats all they ######6 do. They drink... and drink.... and drink... AND THEY'RE 19!!! THEY HAVE NEVER BEEN DIVORCED OR ANYTHING! WHY THE ###$ ARE THEY ######6 DRINKING?! This is why the army is in the shitter, is because all the ######6 young recruits are sent off to far away lands, where the drinking age is, mm, 4, and barley get any $#%^ done! Then, when they get home, now alcoholics, they can't drink, because the drinking age is 21. My brother comes home in February (2012, geniuses), and will be home for 12 days. From what I've seen, that's the bare minimum allowed home. Now what ######6 19 year old is gonna drink his weight in Smirnoff every ######6 night for a year straight, and then come home to find out that he can't keep drinking, because NOW he's underage? Are you ######6 kidding me? What alcoholic EVER has lasted 12 days without a ######6 drink? Just plain cold turkey. What alcoholic has just stopped drinking, ever, and after 3 days of keeping a level head, masturbates himself into a stupor?

Now the average person might plan and possibly see this kind of problem. But if you drink every night (And from what I've seen, people who drink constantly are generally in some sort of constant hangover state by month 6), your only focused on the next ######6 drink. And on the flight over, maybe it'll hit someone that this pinot or whatever the ###$ they serve on flights these days, will be the last drink for 10-12 days. Minimum. They can't drink unless they steal the $#%^.

Do you see why my mom is worried? My brother had his last drink on his 19th birthday, which was near the end of May. He's now the designated driver. He sits there and watches these idiot 19 year olds drink. One of them is named "Dingus". No, I am not kidding. His ######6 name is "Dingus".

But now, this stress is being taken out on us. So, naturally, we passed the written driving exam right now. For those who don't know, the DMV has a basic 2-tier system in most states: take the written exam, which involves 40 questions about driving on the road and street signs, "If 4 people reach an intersection" sort of deals, and the driving test, where you drive with an instructor and get your ######6 license for acing it. I am trying to get my drivers license, which would allow me to drive wherever, whenever, and, most importantly, without my ######6 mom screaming "MERGE" on a one-lane, one-way street.

She is, without doubt, the 2nd biggest reason why we have DID. From K-half of 9th grade, the daily routine was wake up, go to school (Which was 3 blocks from our house), and get bullied to tears on a daily ######6 basis because we were "Weird". This was the #1 reason for our DID, and why we secretly hate most of our ######6 classmates. No one ever explained what the ###$ was weird about swinging on the monkey bars at recess, so we never ######6 knew. Then it was walk home. Enjoy our little quiet time for 2-3 hours, then the bitch (our mother) would come home and yell at us because of...

[ Continued ]

The other thing I wanted to mention is I thought for the longest time that everyone was outgrowing me or just moving on faster. It turns out everyone else thinks the same thing, and those people who are moving away are only doing so for college and have no interest in actually living in that state. It seems everyone is coming back to Boise in a few years. So I guess I have that to look forward to in the near future.

Woo!

Growing up, we had to take Spanish and Japanese if we wanted to graduate. We learned about the culture in each country. And yet, we didn't really learn anything.

Apparently life was not taught to us right. I took a teen living class, knowing one day I would need to use the skills taught. I took culinary arts, because you have to eat, right? I took so many other classes I thought would be essential to my career choice and to life in general, and the whole time I was thinking I was doing the right thing. Everyone over 35+ said I was.

Now, I'm 18, underemployed, and being slammed by the realities of life. I thought with years of abuse I knew what the ###$ I was doing. Apparently I was completely wrong.

My dad once said that we should go to college, because everything we knew about everything would be turned around. I immediaetly thought "Well, then why the ###$ are they teaching us the wrong things now?" As it turns out they were and they weren't. My high school math teacher, a great guy named Mr. Downs (Canadian immigrant, by the way), told the whole class multiple times that we would never use the stuff he was teaching us ever, but it was what he was taught and so he knows its what our kids will be taught. He taught us it because he knew one day our kids would come home and say "Dad, how do you do this?". And most of the girls in the class listened attentively. Because of this, if you were a true whore who wanted to ###$ constantly and have Octomom amounts of babies, you better ######6 know the pythagorean theorem.

My communications degree is so we can work with video for a living. The reason we pursue this so obsessively is because we, having DID, suck at keeping memories. Video helps remind us what the ###$ we were doing at that point in time. I like video. Nic is OBSESSED with it. Film, video, cameras, XLR cables, DV tapes, file cabinets full of DVD's; you name it, he knows it. Except for teleprompters. Don't ask about teleprompters.

But getting back to the original point, I blamed the schools for not adequately preparing us for the real world. We collectively agree the last 6 years of Jr. high and High school were a bigger waste of time than "The Black Ninja". We have only just realized that we had to learn this stuff, like that everything can be seen as useless or useful, on our own. By that example, I mean you can either view the #######5 job at Dunkin' Doughnuts as the worst, most meaningless job ever or as the position that helps get someone through the day, and get his/her work done better. There truly are 2 sides minimum to every story. Max, there's 7 (for us. Its like Rashomon in here sometimes).

However, one thing still eludes me: why do people turn bad? I have very slowly figured out real life since graduation and the job search and such, but that answer still eludes me. You cannot live poor for 20-something years and not either get motivated to find a better job or just adjust and live within your means. There has to be an extra special group of morons that can only "Take it" for 7 months, and start dealing coke. Patience is a virtue, one this group seems to have missed. (And "Ye who hesitates waits" or whatever #######4 that is... well, is #######4. Are you going to try and beat the train, risking death or injury, or will you wait behind the ######6 gate like everyone else and be 100% safe?). At what point do you sit either alone on the streets, homeless or just in a #######5 apartment and think "Maybe cocaine can help". As long as its illegal, you will end up in jail or dead. Thats it.

The point is I'm still figuring out life, as are many of you. I kind of wish adults wouldn't have been so vague, saying "Hey, someday your going to look back at what you said here and think 'I was a real jackass'", instead say something like "Your being a dick, stop it now and don't ever do it again. Around me or around anybody."

My mom is a very great...

[ Continued ]

See this thing to my left?
<<
Its an ad.

I knew Psychforums would eventually do ad overload. The way ads work is people see them, recognize the brand, and continue doing whatever. With online ads, you can earn money from people clicking on these ads.

The problem with these ads is people think "Make money with ads? Perfect! How do I start?", when in reality, the only way you make any money off these ads is if people click on them and look at the advertised site. And Psychforms, like everything else, does need money. And donations aren't cutting it. So why not do this? Sure, I clicked on the ads for Dexter when they were at the top of the forums. You know what they probably earned from me clicking on that advertising? Ten cents. Maybe less.

So, unless 100,000 people visit your site and each ad is linked directly to their desires and they click on it, making you $10,000 or so per day, your not going to make ANY money off these ads. Realistically, you earn 20-30 cents a day off ads. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Most often less. And even though Psychforms is the 46,000th most viewed site on the internet (http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/psychforums.com), which is pretty damn impressive considering there's, like, a bajillion websites total, keep in mind that advertisers tend to lean towards places where people like to go. Highway signs, banners in malls, metro stations, etc. are all seen on a daily basis if you go around town. Online, its the same concept: Ads are placed on high-traffic websites, so the high traffic sees the ads. Simple concept. More people that see the ad about Coke on the front page of YouTube know Cokes logo, or have it reinforced. Maybe a few would like to drink some Coke.

But heres the main problem right there: YouTube might get, ooh, say, a million dollars to put the annoying silent trailer for Modern Warfare 3 with Jonah Hill and Sam Wallerburton Jr. on the front page for a day... and thats it. It seems stupid in hindsight to stop at just a million for a day on the front page, when the ad revenue that comes in could possibly net a million and a half. 2 million. 3 million. 4 even. YouTube is the 3rd biggest site on the whole internet, behind Facebook and Google at #1 (Google owns YouTube, and the service that shows the ad above, FYI).

Online ads just don't work the way they should, though. If were talking about people seeing a brand and recognising it, thats worth 2 cents there, just by seeing the logo. The money, however, is going to stupid ad sites that always get put up, but gets terrible traffic! No one wants to go to the site they know will push them to buy a Cadillac! They just know the basics: Cadillac is a car, it stands for great quality, and they're expensive as hell, but worth it. Out of those 4 basic things, did I miss something? How ads should work is simple: Keep the banner and box ads as-is, its perfect, and have links to stupid sites no one will want to visit. But give the webmaster at least a penny for putting up space on the site to show off your ad. 100 sites could equal just $1! I'm pretty sure Coke could stand that!

The point of this is if, say, Psychforums gets about 1000 visitors in a day, then with the current ads it has, every time someone scrolls down or see's the banner ad at the top, Psychforums gets paid a penny. At the end of the day, thats $100. Advertisers know how website ads work for regular joes. They see the ad at the top and on the sides for just a second, and thats all they need. Why can't that one second look pay off on both sides? I know no one is really listening, but at least I can write something down and I know its there for someone to read, thanks to these forums. But clicking on every ad that pops up is click fraud. Its wrong, even if it helps them out. Hopefully these new ads bring in some revenue that don't take the whole forum down.

(By the way, all my ad experiences were with YouTube. In 3 years, I made $40 off one video.)
-NicS

Herman Cain's wife, Gloria, said that the only way the sex harrassment claims could be real is if he had a split personality.

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/explainer/2011/11/herman_cain_s_wife_says_he_might_have_a_split_personality_.html

Some say it was a joke, others say shes serious, we don't really care. The problem were seeing is here:
"How many Americans have multiple personalities? Somewhere between zero and 9 million. Multiple personality disorder, which is now known as dissociative identity disorder, is highly controversial. Those who believe it’s a legitimate diagnosis say that it affects between 1 and 3 percent of the population. The severity of the illness can vary, and it's claimed that most sufferers don’t know they have it. Many doctors, however, want the disorder stricken from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders—the bible of psychiatric illnesses. They believe that the patients really are mentally ill, but that they merely act out the multiple personalities in response to suggestions from the therapist." (Slate)

There WILL be some story on a major news channel about this in particular.

Worst case scenario, media interest means it may suck for a few days, maybe 2 weeks max. They will bring out stats saying DID isn't real or that its real and in explosive numbers. There will be no middle ground. And they WILL bring out the dumbest people to discuss their DID, and it will get worse from there, until it ends.

So... I guess we'll be on CNN soon.

The best case scenario, however, is people just say it, and they move on. Lets hope for that, cause I really don't want to end up defending my mental illness OR my rapist, ever.
-Nic