I prepped a 15 minute stand up routine with Zack and C.Nic last night, with C as my writing partner and Zack as an "Audience". We did 5 minutes in an "Audition" sort of thing over the phone with a manager for (SHALL BE UNNAMED). She said it was good, but the problem wasn't what I expected.

In years past, the main problem was my age. I was 16 when I started doing this $#%^, and my last gig was in May. 17 years old! Now, I'm 18, and its still awkward to preform in bars. I'd like to think I do OK, but the pity laughs do get on your nerves. When I hit 21, the awkward should end. But, until then, I have to convince barkeeps that I'm just planning to preform, and I have no interest in drinking.

That's not the problem here, she said. She's seen my act one time, at the C[UNNAMED]e. It was decent, she said. The problem was the political content.

In the C[UNNAMED]e act, I made a joke about John Boehners' face having the same physical qualities as a tree stump covered in moss (To put it nicely...). Idaho, being the 2nd most conservative state, generally doesn't like that kind of language. However, downtown Boise is a democrats dream. Its all indie filmmakers and entrepreneurs selling hipsters "Fashionable" clothing. It terms of political action, well... hipsters, man. They really don't do $#%^. But they like my act, in general. And it seemed a lot of people liked the joke, especially when I went into details, comparing nostrils to knotholes, branches to noses (Pinocchio, anyone?), etc.

The fear here was that in this crowd of hipsters (And its really all of them, to be frank. Its not hard to tell a regular person apart from a bearded lady covered in tacky clothing from Goodwill) there was a Republican who would be offended. And its a sane and rational fear; they really cannot take a joke. Look at Palin and David Letterman. As soon as he made that comment about her daughter, people were demanding he be fired. The joke:
"One awkward moment for Sarah Palin at the Yankee game: during the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez."

Now, her daughter is a slut! And a hypocrite. You can't just slap the word "Born Again" on anything and hope it'll convice everyone while lying through your teeth. Thats like me taking a bottle of painkillers and selling them to hobos, then disguising myself as a hobo and selling them back to myself! Or, worse than that, thats like breaking into a police station and planting evidence you were there by leaving your memoirs on the Captains desk! (Its midnight, I'm off. Shut up.)

But getting back to the original point, Republicans cannot ever take jokes lightly. Everything is an attack. When Trump was being roasted by Seth Meyers at the Correspondents Dinner, his face was so scrunched up if someone would have punched him in the nose he would have exploded like one of those slow motion balloons. Its insane how insane these people get when they can no longer differentiate joke-from-reality.

But, as I witness the slow decline of every major political party in America, all I can do is joke. I agree with the manager: Making jokes like the one I did on Boehner is totally inappropriate. Right now. Comedy is always evolving. One day, Lincoln gets shot. Two hundred years later, "Hey, shoulda seen it comin!" Monica Lewinsky blows the President, Bill Clinton, and millions are spent trying to impeach him. Now, we mock how stupid that whole deal was. Columbine, Cheney shooting a guy, Virginia Tech, Bowling for Columbine. In less than 2 seconds, I came up with 4 examples of shooting related deals. Which one made you laugh or at least crack a smile? Cheney, of course! Hes a crazy right oilman who not only shot a friggin guy, but then the guy who got shot APOLOGIZED for the "...trouble he caused". Thats power. And if you can't see the humor in that, where are you, emotionally?

So, I agreed with the manager: No right wing jokes. For right...

[ Continued ]

TK and C really screwed up. This time, they ###$ up the date that the Red Cross comes to the college for blood donations. Its actually tomorrow, on my day off.

I'll still come down, its for a good cause. But C keeps saying "THE POSTER SAID WEDNESDAY!!!" when all of them clearly say Thursday. But its easy to get confused, right? They both rhyme... ish.

TK has expressed interest in seeking therapeutic help for his urges to kill. He really doesn't want to kill anyone, but can't help himself with these urges.

Anyone have any idea where he could get help? Yes, the forums, I know. Frankly, were not sure anyone could possibly relate, so were looking elsewhere, possibly locally.

And, by animalist, I mean someone who thinks were all animals with no spiritual nature, not animalist-PETA bulls**t. Someone who thinks that we can kill without conscience, etc.

Thanks! Next weeks GIF later today.

This is M. Rose Barlow, a Professor with a Doctorate in cognitive psychology from the University of Oregon. Currently, she teaches psychology at Boise State University. See? Heres a link to her BSU page:
http://sspa.boisestate.edu/psychology/faculty-and-staff/barlow/

Well, guess what?
"M. Rose Barlow studies memory functioning in dissociative identity disorder, as well as other responses to trauma, and cognitive processes such as memory and metacognition."

This may be the best/worst thing to possibly happen. I'm going to this mid-summertime next year, and I can choose to make her my professor, if I sign up early enough. So this could mean free therapy, cause from my friends who are currently her students, she does that with some students.

The bad news is that I have literally NO IDEA if she'll believe me off the bat. And, beyond that, will she hook me up to an EKG and track my brainwaves? I know, it sounds super crazy, but I think there's a chance it could happen. And if it does, what if I switch and nothing registers? Its something that really does scare me, cause I'm not a liar, and would rather not be branded one in front of my TEACHER.

That being said, it could be good for me and the guys to talk to someone who's not only a Ph.D, but also specializes in DID. Hell, her Bio starts mentioning DID by the 8th word! Its an obsession to her, right?

Still, I'm debating on if I should tell her, or let her know later down the road, or even not tell her at all! There are 12 people in the whole world who know I have DID. One figured it out on her own, and she's training to be a nurse. Hopefully an actual Dr. can figure out my twitches aren't just cause "I'm cold".

However, if she asks day one "Anyone in here have DID?", I will raise my hand. Swear to God.

And if Dr. Barlow is reading this, my alters thank you ahead of time, and hope your open weekdays after school for free therapy. I'm half-Jewish, I can't pass up freebies. Its the law.

Confetti Button! Yay!

So, in this forum post (http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic71838.html), a guy named Toast (NO, NOT THE CLAPPING GUY. STOP ASKING.) says his alter Talon hurt him. And when he tried to ask him to stop, Talon just laughed.

We found this HILARIOUS. This isn't hilarious like "Schadenfreude" hilarious. More like "We've been there" hilarious. We used to have this problem, both with TK and C. Nic.

First, it was TK. He attacked a teacher, my girlfriend (during sex and during lunchtime in High School), a few classmates who "Knew" of him, and has clawed and spat on a few people whom he just generally hated (Wannabe Gangsters are #1 on his list). He stopped because he finally faced facts: He wanted to kill people. He was a blood junkie. We figured out a way to suppress his urges to kill things, and to this day, he's a great guy so long as he's not going crazy with bloodlust.

As for C, he had a tendency to cut us for fun. Scars attract chicks, chicks=sex. That was the thinking here. It wasn't until he got that cutting yourself with a knife makes you look more emo and, therefore, less sexy to the "chicks" he wanted, and more to fat "chicks" he loathed. We still have them on my arm.

So, in the end, if you can't beat em, help em realize their true reasoning behind their senseless violence. C wanted to get laid. TK likes blood. C did stupid $#%^. TK couldn't help it. Whatever the reasoning is, looking back at it, I think saltwater could have helped in a lot of scenarios. But, in the end, if you can't figure out whats really up, or they just wont tell you, or they lie about their motives to hide their true motivations, ###$ it. Beat the hell out of yourself, Fight Club style and get institutionalized. Worked for Moses!

Confusing answer? Yes. CONFETTI BUTTON!!!