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Eiffle Tower gif so pretty that if it were a woman... yes.

Every week, TK has a fondness for some new word. The first word was "Solider". The next was "Animal". Then "Tail". Then "Killer". Then "Blood". Then a HUGE obsession with "Animalistic". Then combos, like "Animalistic Killer" or "Animalistic Solider", "Blood soaked killer", etc.

Recently, the new word was "his". Whenever we hear "his", we think of a 21 year old with spiky hair, a grey t-shirt and black button up, wearing black pants entering a house through a window. His name is cHrIS, the only name TK know's of that has "His" in it.

One of my last posts has gotten over 230+ views. If you read through it, you see we wait until the very last few paragraphs to start using the word "His". When it triggers, its a rush through my shoulders, like cold water in my veins shooting up my shoulders into my brains pleasure center. Its a real treat, especially when we suddenly come across the word "Animalistic" in places we were expecting it.

That is all. Were bored.

There's this ENORMOUS broad in my Political science class who has complained to our professor that my jokes are unclean. She wants more "Christian" in my humor, or for me to just shut up. This isn't the first time I've caught hell in school for cracking wise, in fact its become routine for everyone who knows me. In my final year of high school, I was put under "Administrative Watch" because on time, when I was on the announcements I said (AFTER this other guy said some news about Red Ribbon Week) "Wow, that news was so good I feel like I should shoot up some heroin." I was called into the principals office, expecting a spanking. And instead... "Look, we like when you do the announcements. But that was inappropriate. Don't do the heroin comment or anything like that again, and you'll be fine", so I did. She (The principal) was very reasonable, and I did agree with every single term. It just made sense.

In some scenarios, clean humor is the best. Your not going to tell a dick joke to a bunch of 7 year old kids going through chemotherapy for brain tumors. Your going to tell knock knock jokes until their head explodes! (Bad example...)

But there's no such thing as good, clean CHRISTIAN humor, there isn't. The second the words "God" and "Joke" (or "Jokes") come into play, you can immediately find out who the crazy people are in the room, and they are all crazy. I'm serious.

I believe in God. I believe you can't explain anything without some sort of God-like force behind it, especially things with these intricate, chain-linked events. If your curious as to what I mean, look up "The Law of Unforeseen Consequences." As a great "###$ you Christians" example, in the 1990s, 2 scientists, John J. Donohue and Steven Levitt, published a story saying that because of legalized Abortion after Roe v. Wade, crime dropped. Why? Because the criminals that were supposed to commit the crimes weren't born! I know that doesn't really prove my point, I just wanted to teach you something interesting, just in case you think I'm not funny.

But back to the original point, good, clean humor is possible. I saw a DVD once of this middle eastern guy doing stand up, didn't curse once, didn't do sex, not very violent (Like he said "I'd slap that elmo doll if it didn't stop giggling", that sort of thing), nothing bad! And it was hilarious! I don't remember his name, but if I do, I'll let you know, cause he's awesome. And not a single curse word, not one! It IS possible to do it, but it has to be done in a specific way that takes years to fully understand, and those who master it don't get rich or famous, but they do get pretty nice gigs. Think Louis C.K. with soap, minus the awesome RED ONES or TV show on FX. Or, better yet, just think Bill Cosby, the rare exception to good, clean humor with very little obscene material. (He has one joke out there, out of the hours of material he's made, and I don't know what it is, but its out there.)

Clean humor is possible, CHRISTIAN humor? Thats downright impossible. The jokes that are available are the kind that are so deafeningly stupid you have to think about what you just read before your allowed to breathe again. I looked some up, and I was going to copy and paste them, but they're too long! Not like, y'know, my blog posts long, but more like "15 paragraphs to make a point" long. And they're not even funny! None of them are. Maybe to little kids or senile old tea partiers, but not to people like us! If you find it funny, that's good, and I don't mean to sway what you should or shouldn't like, but ###$ these jokes are so stupid! If these jokes were a candy bar, they'd be Hersey's! AND THAT'S CHRISTIAN HUMOR: IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!

Now, there are ways to make Christian humor funny, but the problem is that to do so, you have to offend someone. That's the rule of thumb: everything said offends someone. Its...

[ Continued ]

I'm feeling a lot better, thanks to Hulu and painting. I'll get to that later.

I've learned that comedies in threes cheer up anyone, something I've done with many classmates who (in the past) have come to talk to me about $#%^ that was going on. People think I'm honest and tend to trust me. Why, I don't know, cause I keep all this stuff they tell me as future leverage if they ###$ with me, but generally I'm happy to listen because I do care. Maybe that's it: They know I care. Heh. Go figure.
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My brother has been enlisted into the army for about a year now, hes signed a 6 year contract. He's stationed in Katterbach, Germany. I honestly have no idea why were in Germany, but that's not the point. He just bought a car over there, cause odds are good he'll be there for 2 years, max, although there's a chance he may be sent to Afghanistan. In that case, he gets to come home for Thanksgiving time, for about a week.

Heres my problem: In the pic he uploaded to Facebook... he looks like a dick. Massive Douchebag. Theres the stupid tilted hat... why do people insist on tilting their hat, look, anyway, it was "About to fall off" tilted. If that hat was a windmill, it would have crushed Bruce Campbell in "Army of Darkness". So, off the bat, he's killed Bruce Campbell with a hat.

Then the shirt. Blue, with a yellow lightning bolt across the stomach. Thats fine. But its 3x too big. He's basically wearing a parachute; if he stands behind the tailpipe he's going to get blown away farther than Lindsey Lohan with a blow up doll and a penis pump.

THEN, jeans. Jeans are OK.

The shoes. Lime green laces against black shoes, while leaning on a silver car with more stickers and chipped paint than the Berlin wall, all with this "Jersey Shore" look going on. He's got this tight smile, where its just him smiling broadly, no teeth or anything, like this was a setup and he hates the photographer. So, essentially, little solider boy cannot dress himself wherever he is. "Grown up" my ass.

THEEEEEN, there's the shame. This is my explanation above. He hates this, and can't dress himself properly. The reality was this was all his fault. This bastard did this on his own, and some guy named "Dingus" (Real last name) is taking the blurriest photo since that Bigfoot in the woods pic. This is not my brother! My brother was so subconscious of his moobs he wore sweatshirts in the summer and just said he was "Cold-Blooded, so I need more sunlight". Now, that's not "I'm a coldblooded killer", that's "Lizards need sunlight because they're cold-blooded." The problem with my brothers interpretation is Lizards sit on a rock all day, and while he was saying this, he was sitting in an Air Conditioned school surrounded by other little d-bags who... well, I don't want to jinx it.

My brother is obsessed with Halo and Gears of War! He has begun liking cars about a year ago! He has always loved flying, and the second he had a chance to be in a plane, he took it, whatever the cost. Before he left for Boot Camp a year ago, there was an opportunity to co-pilot one of those Buddy ###$ planes for an hour, and he took it immediately.

And now... he's standing like a d-bag in front of a car called a Scooby! Yes, its really called an "Impreza", but the slang is Scooby. I don't ######6 know why, its actually rather embarrassing when you think about it, though. Urban Dictionary says its because "Young Men think 'Subaru' sounds like 'Scooby'". Which it really doesn't. When I was 9, my dad ordered Sprite for my brother and I from McDonalds, and they gave us Root Beer. When we asked the guy at the drive up window "Why did you give us root beer, we said Sprite!" "Oh, you did? We thought you said Root Beer". Like they rhyme or something... anyways, thats the story: My brother is standing in front of a car called a "Scooby" (Because Impreza wasn't cool...

[ Continued ]

There's a rule in Islam where the deceased must be buried within 24 hours.

I buried Kedsie an hour after her death, and had a cross up with her name on it by 5PM the next day.

25 hours. Not too shabby.

Heres a picture of her final resting spot:
http://i648.photobucket.com/albums/uu202/Nicsho/Photo0469.jpg?t=1315262285

The letter stencils were from a friend. I suck at spray painting. I should have just let him do it.