AIDS. Pancreatic Cancer. Some third thing. We all fear them, in some small way or another. Zack, however, especially fears them. Death is a major fear for him. But were getting better at dealing with it. Zack posted about his fear of all life ending, the universe just collapsing, etc about 2 weeks ago. Today, its really a non issue. I even typed that in and we felt a little fear, but not like the panic attacks we had before.

So were hoping the same thing will happen to us if we talk about the other big fears we have, that simply writing about them will help alleviate them, even a little. Most are irrational, but some have merit. So, here it goes:

-Headphones: We wear these large, $40 dollar Skullcandy headphones a lot. Like, an hour a day, minimum. Recently, we have been feeling this sort of pressure on our head and in our ears. We are worried about the headphones growing a tumor or causing cancer.

-Laptop: The headphones are used with our laptop, which we usually work with on our lap. We watch Netflix or do homework (ha!) on it, and it'll sit there, warming our thighs. Again, cancer or tumors growing is the big fear.

AIDS: We just donated blood for the 3rd time in our lives, and 2 days later there was no call, so we know were clean. The two day rule is simple: The US blood bank is consistently 2 days away from running out, so our blood gets tested and used on 3 people rather quickly. To make sure those people do not get infected, very, VEEEEEEERY strict testing is done on about 20 different diseases to make sure its not spread. And guess what? No call= no AIDS. Yet, the paranoia persists. We have no idea why. The last sexual contact we had was May 26th-ish, and a little bit of her blood got on C's fingers. I washed them ASAP. Like, "[CONTACT]. BWAAAAAH" run to the bathroom and wash hands for 5 minutes while she apologizes profusely. That was it. And this recent test proves that she nor I doesn't have AIDS... even though she still sleeps around and C. hasn't in 5 months.

Pancreatic Cancer: We have been having pain lately above our right hip, but its only when we sit in an odd position, so we figure thats it. But our neighbor died of Pancreatic Cancer 3-4 years ago, and its been kinda scary when the topic pops up. The main fear stems from that semi-random pain (It either comes or doesn't come at all).

Since this is america and our healthcare is both awesome and expensive, we can expect the best care, but at the same time we need to keep the small symptoms under wraps to keep costs low. Still, money can't cure everything, common sense needs to kick in somewhere. Steve Jobs was diagnosed with a rare, not very aggressive type of pancreatic tumor in 2003. There was a surgery that his doctors highly reccommended that could remove the tumor and extend his life by 10 years. Instead, he chose to go for "Alternative Medicine", and became a vegan for 9 months after his diagnosis. In 2008, he openly regretted his decision. He was worth $7,000,000,000 dollars. Thats Seven Billion. $7B. And yet he died. He could have been saved, the operation, AT MINIMUM, would have gave him 10 extra years, at most cured him altogether. Instead, he went and ate veggies for 9 months.

Penn Jillette once said about cancer-treating hypnosis tapes (Yes, they're real) "Desperate people will do anything to get better." I seriously hope no one gets that desperate, that they would buy snake oil instead of going for scientific treatment. Still, there are people in Africa that sell "AIDS-Curing" juices and fruits and nuts and candies. They sell like crazy, because people are desperate. Out of 33 Million people living with HIV/AIDS in the world right now, 23 Million are in Africa alone (http://www.avert.org/worldstats.htm). A little over half of adults, by the way, are women. Rape. Geez, that keeps coming up...

I hope this wasn't too boring, but in the end this is our blog, and we really don't care about if were boring....

[ Continued ]

So yesterday I was walking around and it hit me: I don't give a ###$ about anything anymore. I'm serious. I'm failing in 2/4 classes in college, with barely any hope of recovery, there are no jobs for me or my friends to ######6 get, no one can seem to do anything, even if they're in charge, I just ######6 give up.

Now, we have a brother in the army. Not like "We became like brothers" kind of #######4, like were actually brothers. And guess what? It was his ######6 dream to join the army since he was a kid. And he didn't like us embarrassing him, which we apparently did anyway ######6. But thats fine. We literally have nothing against anyone who wants to join the military, anywhere. You want to serve? ######6 fine by me. I honestly don't give a $#%^ out of a rats ass in a ######6 sewer. I could care less.

But were ######6 my brother and his newly minted army buddies when their contracts are up. The ######6 statistics on suicide for soliders that just came home are astronomical. Something like a soldier commits suicide every 90 minutes. What the ###$ is that? The economy. Nobody can seem to find a job. And most of these guys, quite literally, would rather be dead then be in the ######6 army again. So, bam. Dead.

And lets not go into the rape coverup. You know how many women have been raped in the army? NO ONE HAS AN EXACT ######6 NUMBER, BECAUSE THERE IS NO SOLID INFO! The army (And I know I sound like a ######6 conspiracy nut) is covering up rape statistics, either to encourage more women to join or just because its embarrassing. One woman is too many in my opinion, but there are suggestions that the number is 10,000 women raped since the Iraq war started. Now, frankly, that's most likely #######4, but we have no idea if it really is, because the info isn't there.

We have decided to get over our "We don't ######6 care anymore" mood by looking into the coverup. And guess what we've found already? 26 women. FROM ######6 IDAHO. Raped. We know this because of testimony, not stats. We have found 26 deals from women saying they were roofied and raped in the army. And odds are good we'll find more. But 26 women? 26? Seriously? I know for a fact theres blow up dolls on submarines, but not in the ######6 army? Have we seriously become like the muslims that cover up their women? The guys who become so horny they shove their dicks in the top of their AK-47s and hump it until they both fire off rounds?

Its really the economy that makes me do $#%^ like rant about rape stats in the army. I have nothing better to do. I am qualified to run most broadcasting equipment, but guess what? "I'm 18, so apparently I don't". Apparently age doesn't equal intelligence, and to that I say "Amen, brother. But you have it backwards. Everyone in congress is around 50 years old, and they have an 8% approval rating, the lowest rating congress has had EVER. And yet they have good jobs with great pay they themselves can upgrade whenever they want to. Meanwhile, I'm stuck raking up leaves and doing underground investigative work trying to figure out real numbers to a real crisis no one is even looking at. My age might help get me a ######6 Pulitzer, and your saying I can't run a Grass Valley switcher because I'm 18?"

I'm pretty pissed off at the age card if you haven't noticed.

Basics: ###$ everything until I figure out the rape stats in the army. If I can't nail a good number, might as well just move to Paraguay and start murdering people at the sugar cane factory. Hey, nothing else going on, right?

As long as our leaders are Christians and therefore ######6 stupid as Christians tend to be when put in charge, I will keep looking. So, expect a full report by the end of, mmm, 2016.
-C.Nic

Nic,

I know what your trying to do here. But it won't work. I flash people just to see them squirm. The only one your embarrassing is those who read both my rants and whatever the hell you post & yourself in 20 years when you run for Senate. At least you'll have the "I'm Mentally Ill!!!" card to play. Geez, THAT'LL never backfire.

TK is fine with spreading the philosophy, by the way, so you didn't do much there, either.

And leave the random bits of Gonzo journalism to actual journalists.

Love,
C.Nic,
Tub Washer at LuLu's Chinese Massage,
Baton Rouge, LA.

I'm writing this at 11:39 PM MTN time because I'm still up (obviously).

TK has an obsession with animalism, one he takes quite seriously. Animalism, simply put, is the idea that humans are just animals. TK takes that as humans are animals, and therefore are allowed to mate and kill as much as we want. He will growl and snarl at people (he especially snarls every time he is triggered out of the blue), and he loves having his balls rub against the floor.

So take the "...most animalistic pose" (according to DeviantArt, apparently...), squatting with your arms up front, TK in front and the dogs to snarl at and confuse... MAGIC happens.
(Note: This... magic hipster has the right pose, if both arms were between his legs pressed palms down against the ground: http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs19/f/2007/295/9/0/Caged_Collared_notdomesticated_by_Kushielboi.jpg)

My mom was gone 9 days in Germany to visit my brother, who's stationed over there as a crew chief in-training. We were home alone for a good 8 days and 9 nights. And a good 75% of that time was C.Nic and TK at home, completely naked, crawling on the floor, jerking off everywhere and growling at the dogs. By the way, completely naked to TK and C. means no jewelry, no rings or necklaces or even bandages or tattoos. Nothing touches the skin but the floor. They wear nothing.

Heres the basic C.Nic and TK horniness cycle: Get horny>Get home>Is anyone else home? Y/N. Y=Go to bathroom and jerk off. N=Take off clothes and jerk off upstairs. Done. TK takes lead. Balls touch ground for half a second. Repeat cycle, 2x longer because we just came. Bonus points if you scare dog(s).

It is now 11:51 PM MTN time where I am, and my back is killing me. Theres an open episode of "Who's Line is it Anyway?" buffering on YouTube. In the back of my head, TK is prowling around on all fours, trying to get out. Every night he and C. jerk off. They have an addiction, I guess. I'm going to cut them off cold-turkey for a week, just to see if they last. Cruel, yes. But I've asked C. to stop wasting time, and he hasn't. So, were going for the road untraveled. Cut off.

His balls touched the bedsheets, and his eyes are wide. Its basically now just jerk off or die. They're growling. They both like to sleep naked, like animals do. They're in for a shock I guess.

Last time, it was Psych (SE1, EP7). Today, its the classic "Frasier" with Kelsey Grammer. In Season 1, Episode 10 "Oops", specifically around 1:30, Niles says "I really have to go. I'm conducting a seminar on multiple personalities, and it takes me forever to fill out the nametags."

Now, come on! Thats ######6 funny.

-C.Nic