Today I'm still manic, though it isn't as bad as yesterday. I'm still suffering from a constant head rush and am having a little trouble focusing but I did manage to write a poem today without too much trouble so that's a good sign. Here it is:

Manic Rambling

Whoever said that mania was fun has lost their mind
Jaw clenching, teeth gnashing, and a constant head rush
I try to rein it in, hoping my medications will work this time
But under the weight of this, I suddenly feel crushed

Sick to my stomach, body aching, racing thoughts abound
Concentration is at a minimal, I can barely focus now
I feel like I’m losing touch with reality, paranoia surrounds
If only this feeling would go away, though I don’t see how

Night closes in as I feed upon medications to clear my head
Nothing seems to work, I’m stuck in high gear, feeling lost
Tossing and turning all night, lying awake in my bed
I feel like my mind and body is wired wrong, paying the cost

How I long to feel normal again but some say I’m flat
They don’t know what I ‘m going through though they try
Emotionally, I consider myself unipolar, mania at that
But I must mask my condition and wear an accepted hat

Sometimes I want to disclose my illness to those that may help
But I fear the stigma that goes along with saying the truth
So I pray that my medication will work this time, as I knelt
Knowing deep inside, many will judge me without any ruth

Time to see the doctor and find out if we can adjust my med
I can’t go on like this, if only it was as easy as popping a pill
I wish I could put into words what’s going on inside my head
Perhaps that would help me overcome that manic hill

I long for the day when my cycles were set in a pattern to say
Going between depression, normal then rage, span across time
But because of using an antidepressant too long, I won’t see the day
When I can honestly tell everyone that today I feel fine